I am in need of some serious advice. So my husband and I got married May 8th, 2020 which is our original date that we had planned. With essentially did a courthouse wedding with just his parents and grandparents. We moved our big celebration to September 4th, 2020 which is currently less than a...
I am in need of some serious advice. So my husband and I got married May 8th, 2020 which is our original date that we had planned. With essentially did a courthouse wedding with just his parents and grandparents. We moved our big celebration to September 4th, 2020 which is currently less than a month away. I have literally everything done and almost completely paid for so far. Decor rentals, venue fees, musicians, tuxedos, food. We are expecting between 40-45 guests at our wedding next month.
My biggest thing is that my sister, who is my best friend in the entire world, currently lives in Alaska on an island, and we are in South Carolina. We are quite literally on the opposite ends of the US. I had a deep conversation with her about traveling because she has to fly, and there is no less than 2 layovers she would have to take. One being Anchorage Alaska, the Seattle, to here. My grandmother called her today and said that she didn’t think she should come. Not only for the risk of her getting sick, but her transmitting it to others. We thought about having my sister fly in one week prior, somewhat quarantine, get tested in time to get results back. I felt as though it would be safe enough with her wearing a protective mask (medical grade) while flying and at airports that she would be alright. I don’t know what to do. She said she’s a bit scared to fly and everything but is willing to in order to be there. When she gets home from our wedding, back to Alaska, she is REQUIRED to get a Covid test, then self quarantine for 7-10 Days and get re-tested again to make sure it is not positive. Her husband (will not be attending) will have to find somewhere else to live during the time she quarantines because he is a medical profession on their island and would be forced to take time off with her if he would stay in their house together. I really have no idea what to do. Any advice, input, whatever, helps. Thank you for reading my rant...
I completely understand what you are going through right now. I recently got married August 1st during this time. We originally had our date as April 25th and had to postpone due to the pandemic. We had everything paid off and didn't want to reschedule a second time. Our vendors and venue worked with us well to make everything super sanitary and safe for all guests (same as you - seating chart for guests, inside food all handled by caterer, all staff masked, etc.). Everyone really works super hard to make this day safe for everyone. I was extremely impressed not only with my vendors but with the guests too.
We had a huge drop in numbers due to the virus - originally looking at 200 and dropped to 80. I would say only 50 stayed throughout the night. All of my husbands family was out of state and did want to risk coming to the wedding, including his brother who was his Best Man. He took it really hard but at the end of the day, he would have been there if he could have. What we did for all those out of town guests was had someone make a private FB group and post everything in there - the ceremony, all the dances, the toasts, garter toss, you name it! And since it was all live, people got to comment on it in real time and felt like they were there.
Most of our elderly family members and those more susceptible left after the ceremony for safety sake. So maybe that's something to look into for them? We had a few out of state guests fly in and you would be surprised at how air flights are right now. It's the most clean they ever have been! All those that were on the younger crowd avoided anyone that was elderly and stayed to one area of the venue.
When it comes down to it, the wedding is about your love between you and your husband. I got tired of people saying this but it's super true, I really realized it when we got married. It might be awful to not have your sister there at your special day (we had major people missing for us too) but you'll still have the best day of your life. But I don't think your sister has anything to worry about and will be making the wedding just fine! Especially if you take the extra week to quarantine.
Sorry I overshared but I hope this helps ease your stress a little!
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Thank you! Your story eased me a little bit. I know in the end it will be up to her on what she wants to do, and after all of the other comments I’m pretty sure we will be going ahead with the wedding. I tend to over-stress things, and I really really really want my sister there. Both of our parents have passed away, we lost our mom this year so having her there is important to me. A few days ago I asked if she would be the one to walk me down the aisle, so many emotions have gone through my head over the past couple days. I am not sure if my venue has wifi available, I’ll have to double check that but should she decide to not to come, we would definitely do something virtual for her.
Hey girl! We are getting married the same day. I would let her decide. If she is willing (which it seems like she is) even if it seems like a hassle now I’m sure it would be worth it to both of you in the end and down the road. I would leave it up to her. My friend travels Across the county for work all the time (and she works in healthcare) and has been doing so since July and said the airlines have been super safe and clean. If your sister wears a mask I think she really will be ok. I work in healthcare and I have to wear my mask all day at work- a few people I work with tested positive way long ago in the beginning of this and I was in very close contact with them (mask on) and I tested negative. It is a rough time for all of us- but I think if she is willing you should let her! I am sure she wants to be with you.
I just came here to say, your relationship with your sister is beautiful. I’m sure whatever you decide your relationship can handle it and the bond will never be broken! Good luck to you! Keep us updated!
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45 people isn't really a whole lot. I know this sounds crazy but is there anyway you can ask those people to wait a year to celebrate with you? I think it would be more fun to have a real reception meaning you can dance, hug freely, be close to people and have your sis/best friend there. I know there is no certainty with the virus, but if you are already married and happy now, what's wrong with pushing it back a year?
I had several friends here in Michigan who had already paid for their May and early June weddings and were able to postpone and just move dates. I only suggest this because you really want here there and safely. That's what I would do. My husband and I just got married and went on our honeymoon in a remote area. We did a 22 person ceremony and basically a small reception with the same people right after. We have a party for our 1 yr anniversary planned and booked for next year. I feel like this year is going to fly by. Good luck to you!!
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you and your sister. I have gotten on an airplane twice since May. I did not get sick. as long as your sister is reasonably healthy and not in a high-risk group I would say proceed. As for her husband needing to move to another place, I would submit that as long as he keeps a 6-foot distance and they both maintain good hygiene in their home the risk is minimal he is probably at greater risk in his job. Don't be at a loss, leave it with your sister. She will make the final decision.
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Thank you for your input! As for him having to live somewhere else when she comes home, he’s in the coast guard so he is required to use his vacation time for 14 days and cannot go into his work for any reason while he quarantines with her so it’s not an option. I know that whatever decision she makes, it will be for the best
Hi, I work For an airline currently and in all honesty everything is the cleanest it has ever been, well for my airline in particular we clean between every flight and have a spraying Sanitizer that gets sprayed.