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Riley
Savvy September 2020

Covid Postponement

Riley, on August 9, 2020 at 7:20 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 30
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I am in need of some serious advice. So my husband and I got married May 8th, 2020 which is our original date that we had planned. With essentially did a courthouse wedding with just his parents and grandparents. We moved our big celebration to September 4th, 2020 which is currently less than a month away. I have literally everything done and almost completely paid for so far. Decor rentals, venue fees, musicians, tuxedos, food. We are expecting between 40-45 guests at our wedding next month.


My biggest thing is that my sister, who is my best friend in the entire world, currently lives in Alaska on an island, and we are in South Carolina. We are quite literally on the opposite ends of the US. I had a deep conversation with her about traveling because she has to fly, and there is no less than 2 layovers she would have to take. One being Anchorage Alaska, the Seattle, to here.
My grandmother called her today and said that she didn’t think she should come. Not only for the risk of her getting sick, but her transmitting it to others. We thought about having my sister fly in one week prior, somewhat quarantine, get tested in time to get results back. I felt as though it would be safe enough with her wearing a protective mask (medical grade) while flying and at airports that she would be alright. I don’t know what to do. She said she’s a bit scared to fly and everything but is willing to in order to be there.
When she gets home from our wedding, back to Alaska, she is REQUIRED to get a Covid test, then self quarantine for 7-10 Days and get re-tested again to make sure it is not positive. Her husband (will not be attending) will have to find somewhere else to live during the time she quarantines because he is a medical profession on their island and would be forced to take time off with her if he would stay in their house together.
I really have no idea what to do. Any advice, input, whatever, helps. Thank you for reading my rant...

30 Comments

Latest activity by Jenni, on August 11, 2020 at 10:15 AM
  • Margaret
    Rockstar October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    Can your sister afford taking that much time off?
    I get that you want her there, but is making her take up to a month in quarantine (less wedding weekend) worth it?
    I think this is a conversation you and she need to work out and no hard feelings no matter what the decision is.
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  • Riley
    Savvy September 2020
    Riley ·
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    She can afford it to take that much time off, and we’ve been talking with no hard feelings at all. I am not mad at her and I know it’s not her fault but I’m at a loss of what to do. You’ve made a good point I need to talk to her about her employers. I talked with my husband and he’s calmed me down a lot and tried to come up with a solution for things. Thank you for your input
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  • Margaret
    Rockstar October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    Can you have her there “virtually”
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  • Riley
    Savvy September 2020
    Riley ·
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    I could, but the issue is that I don’t want to. She’s my Matron of honor, my best friend, the person I’m willing to postpone a second time for. I’m looking into regulations in our state for people
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  • Katie
    Devoted January 2021
    Katie ·
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    Honestly, it sounds like she’s being a great sister and is willing to do whatever it takes to be there, but she isn’t fully comfortable and should be encouraged to do what she feels safest with. It’s pretty much traveling internationally at that point and given the conditions, it’s quite a bit to ask and also potentially expose her and others. I’d let her know you fully stand behind what she decides is best for her and her family.
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  • Riley
    Savvy September 2020
    Riley ·
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    I just had that conversation with her, I called her back. She’s thinking things over about what to do . My husband thinks since we’ve planned so much and got this second date in our grasp that we shouldn’t move it. I do have a few others that will be traveling here, and have taken time off to do so. I am fully comfortable with whatever she decides but it’s will be so hard if she isn’t there.
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  • Super August 2020
    ·
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    If she seems comfortable with it (at least comfortable enough that it would be worth it to her), I don't think you should postpone the entire day so she can be there, especially since she wouldn't be the only person traveling. It sounds like you're thinking things through so I'm sure you are already, but make sure you have safety measures in place, like masks, hand sanitizer, and social distancing. If you still feel like she poses a unique risk to your other guests, you can isolate her as much as possible during the wedding by having her stand away from people during the ceremony and seating her at her own table during the reception.
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  • Riley
    Savvy September 2020
    Riley ·
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    Yes, we are doing all of that at our wedding! I will have assigned seating at both the ceremony and reception, food will be served inside and then people go out back to sit down at tables but we will only be allowing a certain number of people in there at once. Everyone will be asked to wear a mask when not eating, masks available, 2 hand sanitizer bottles at every table and sanitizer at our buffet tables (they will be hand served by servers) and sanitizer at the drink table
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  • Leanne
    Rockstar September 2020
    Leanne ·
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    My sister just became pregnant and we had similar conversations. I wouldn’t postpone, and since she’s so far away I’d have her there virtually.
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  • Super August 2020
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    That's great! We had similar measures at our wedding and it's too early to know for sure that it was safe, but it definitely felt safe!
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  • Trisha
    Super October 2020
    Trisha ·
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    I Would Let Her Choose Without Influencing Her Decision. If She Isnt Comfortable Flying Thats Reason Enough Not To Attend. It Is Unfortunate But Having Her There Virtually Will Somewhat Make Up For Her Absence. Im Sorry Youre Going Through This And I Hope You Have A Great Wedding.

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  • Mandi
    Beginner October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    Decide what's best for you & let her decide what's best for her.
    Honestly... I would still go ahead with it. This 👇is strictly my opinion... I'm not creating a debate.
    I've traveled A LOT over the whole Corona & Covid thing. Right now... literally is the BEST time to travel. Airports & places don't have much traffic. They are far cleaner, safer, & healthier than they ever have been. You are far more likely to get Covid in your own home town grocery shopping than you are traveling in the airports. With that being said there are always risks, even in everyday life. Everyone should do what they feel is best for themselves & protect themselves & their loved ones.
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  • Riley
    Savvy September 2020
    Riley ·
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    Thank you for your input, and congrats to your sister!
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  • Riley
    Savvy September 2020
    Riley ·
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    Both me and her husband are respectful of her decision, thank you so much for your input
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  • Riley
    Savvy September 2020
    Riley ·
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    Thank you so much for your input. I have see. A lot of people say this, and I’ve been looking about how planes are and airports are. I know that traveling has a risk, and we have been thinking about what all we can do when she gets here and how far out she should her here to quarantine to see if she feels any symptoms. We will also be getting her a better mask if she decides to fly.
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  • Tonilynn
    Dedicated September 2020
    Tonilynn ·
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    I totally know how you feel I am the 4th too and now my nieces and nephews can’t come bc of quarantine when they get home they have school so they can’t miss 2 wks. My sister can buy the kids cant!! I feel you pain we went from like 50 people to 30-40 people lol oo well
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  • Riley
    Savvy September 2020
    Riley ·
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    Oh your wedding is on the 4th too? Congrats on that!! Sounds like we’re in the same boat. Our original list had 60, we're down to about 40-45. They say wedding planning is stressful? Well this is a whole new level!!
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  • Tonilynn
    Dedicated September 2020
    Tonilynn ·
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    Yes for sure! But we will be ok!!! We will have our beautiful day with or without some much wanted people!! Im done putting it off and Im ready to have my day with my FH! Our kids are more then excited as well (2 from my previous marriage which i did not have a wedding .. and 1 we share.. they all call him Dad so they are our kids lol). Our 4 year old keeps saying I wanna get married in the mountains, she knows that is where we are having the wedding lol. We have all been tortured enough sooo I will keep continuing to pray for our day and now yours TOO!! I pray it all works out and we have an amazing Wedding!!

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  • Kari
    VIP May 2020
    Kari ·
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    I work at a college and we are about to have students coming from all over the country to begin their fall semesters, including many who will be flying. In Vermont, students traveling by public transit will need to submit to two Covid tests (one on the day they arrive "Day Zero" and one on Day 7) and quarantine for up to two weeks (or until both test results come back negative). This seems to be a fairly consistent scientific strategy being implemented by colleges across the northeast (with slight variations from state to state). The Day 0 tests are not likely to catch any infections that a person got while taking public transportation, but the Day 7 tests should. We are contracting with a test provider whose turnaround is about 36 hours, which is significantly less than the wait time for results in many areas.

    I had a friend move from San Diego to Boston recently. They got tested in CA prior to leaving, drove to Boston, camping and doing minimal stops for gas and food. They planned to get tested in Boston but the wait time for results was 7-10 days, which didn't feel like it was worth it to them since they got tested before and had been very careful while traveling (she's a nurse).

    Sorry I don't have an answer or suggestion for what you should do, but it sounds like having your sister attend would be doable but asking a LOT of her and her husband and I think that is something to consider. Best of luck!

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  • Riley
    Savvy September 2020
    Riley ·
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    Thank you for your input! I am a recent college grad myself, I graduated in May so I am still in the loop of how my college will be doing things welcoming students back to campus. Last night I told her specifically, we have the means to house and feed her no problem for the 7ish day period before the wedding, and even after for if she contracted it.
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