I need some advice, from one COVID bride to others!
I am the truest definition of a COVID bride. Our original wedding was scheduled for March 22nd (the week COVID hit in the US). We had to postpone our wedding 5 days out. By then, our family had already begun flying in; in less than a week, I went from celebrating with my coworkers to postponing and in lockdown. It was a surreal experience, but I'm so glad we postponed because some of our family who had already flown out caught COVID on the plane. Talk about a close call!
All this to say, when COVID first hit, I wanted to cancel instead of postponing. I had a feeling COVID was going to extend longer than everyone thought and didn't want it hanging over our heads for a long time. Even more, I never really wanted a big (100 person) wedding to begin with. But, my FH and family thought it would be fine by August 2020 and my FH really wanted the big wedding. So I went along with it.
Cue August 2020, and we had to postpone again - this time to March 2021 (so a full year from our original date). About a month ago, we were forced to postpone again, this time to August 2021. We're located in LA County, where COVID is out of control, and given how nearly we had a COVID superspreader wedding back at the start of the pandemic, we aren't willing to risk anyone's health (weddings aren't even allowed right now, since we're in another lockdown).
My question is - how many postponements is too much? I still really, really want to cancel and just wait until COVID is all said and done. But at this point, I feel like I've lost all my leverage to do so, both with our vendors and my family. I know that there are far bigger problems in the world right now than weddings. But I know myself, and I know that if we were able to eventually do the wedding we initially planned some day (with COVID alterations, of course) I would just be extremely anxious and sad about everything that we had to change (buffet --> catered meal, not able to use the indoor part of the venue, missing friends and family that should be there, etc.). My FH and I are already married for all intents and purposes, so it's truly just a piece of paper for us. I would rather wait until everything is safe and do something different that doesn't have the anxiety of COVID attached to it.
Anyone else feel this way? Or do I just need to suck it up and accept that this is how it's going to be? Please be honest, I need help!