covid may wedding

Ours is May 17 as well for now but we can’t even get a marriage license and our venue is closed still so we don’t know what to do 😭

I hate to say it but I think it's very irresponsible to hold a 20-person wedding on May 17th. That is way too soon and you're putting all 20 guests at great risk as well as your entire community and given how fast this is spreading, our whole country. I would postpone the entire thing unless you want to do a live-stream wedding. At this point, having a 20-person wedding on May 17th is selfish at best (plus, depending on what state you're in, it may be illegal anyway). I'm really sorry and don't mean to diminish what you're going through, but this is really serious and it's 20-person events like this that put more people at risk.

Our wedding was supposed to be May 30. We decided to postpone the whole thing rather than pay for 2 events, and have any of our loved ones at risk. We're in California so there's no place we'd get away with a 20-person gathering anyway. We've rescheduled our wedding for a year out. That gives everyone time to regroup and recover from the effects of the pandemic. We don't have to change anything but the date. That's not such a big deal when we get everything else.

20 guests would still be illegal where I am. Were you able to even obtain your marriage license?

Hi Michaela,

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, and I know the uncertainty of everything is stressful. You are definitely not alone!

My opinion is that the legal piece of a wedding (i.e., filing your license) would not diminish the experience of a future ceremony for your family and friends. You should do whatever feels right for you.

Unfortunately, it's unclear (even for experts, which I certainly am not) when the pandemic will pass and, therefore, I cannot advise a safe time to reschedule. Many couples are considering fall/winter 2020. However, if you were most attracted to a spring wedding, you could postpone until April 2021.

We've gathered some tips and resources from WeddingWire here: COVID-19 Wedding Support Central. You'll find articles like this one: What to Do About Your Wedding During the Coronavirus Pandemic and You’ve Decided to Postpone Your Wedding. Now What?

Hope this helps!

Sorry- I don’t think this is going to work out well. Your state has a stay at home order. People are only allowed to leave their homes for essential activities (like essential work, grocery shopping, and seeking medical care.) Attending a wedding of any size is not an essential activity. The order is currently through May 15 with the possibility of extension. Unfortunately that seems like it’s cutting it pretty close for a May 17th wedding.

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Veronica - my fiance and I have been facing this same issue in CA for our May 16th wedding. I'm not sure where you are located however if you are in CA check out Alameda County (Oakland, CA). They are having couples fill out an Affidavit of Inability to Appear and mailing them in and they will mail you the license. From what I can tell, the affidavit is usually for those confined to a hospital or in prison however they've added COVID-19 as one of the reasons to fill it out as no one can go to the county clerk. If you aren't in CA perhaps call local counties and see if they would be willing to do the same for you. I hope this helps!

View Quoted Comment OMG THATS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE DOING! I’m in Northern CA as well! It’s been such a process though since we called them to find out and they want people going through this process to go to a notary and get our signatures notarized and then they want us to have our officiant come in person and get their signature notarized as well! Since the only notary open in our area is at a UPS store! Are you going through the process?

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We have it all printed and are figuring it out - I am fortunate enough to work at an essential business and my boss is a Notary so we are able to have that done. Thankfully we can mail in the documents once its all filled out and notarized since I am several hours north of Oakland! Oregon is doing marriage licenses by mail but as far as I can tell Oakland is the ONLY county in CA that is doing it which is ridiculous if you ask me. My fiance and I are not really in a position to be able to postpone so I'm crazy happy to finally find somewhere to get a license lol!

Oh lucky! We went to a local UPS store since they have notary services and she told us that she wouldn't sign unless our officiant was present with us and since they need to sign as well! How did you go about having your officiant sign the paperwork? us too we live in the Sacramento area now but originally from the Bay Area! So crazy that they are the only ones issuing them!

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Is your officiant able/willing to meet up with you at UPS? We have yet to talk to ours - I hadn't considered him needing to be there at the same time. That is good to know though! Hopefully they will feel comfortable enough meeting up with you to get it notarized so you can get one. Are you planning on continuing with the ceremony if you are able to get one? We are still trying to figure out what we will be allowed to do.

View Quoted Comment Yeah we don’t get why they need to be there to sign but she was confused when we told her we talked to the alameda office and she said she didn’t want to get in trouble but since we’re the ones getting married we don’t see why the officiant needs to come in person! We probably have to postpone since it’s too unknown but we want to elope on our day of anyways

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That is what we are starting to face too. The sad thing is his family is out of state so we aren't sure they'll be able to be there at all to celebrate with us which we are very bummed about. Hopefully it works out for you!

View Quoted Comment Hey girl! Did you get your marriage license in the mail yet? How long did it take? We finally mailed it off this past Friday and it showed they received it so I’m just waiting now 😅

View Quoted Comment Not yet - the day we were going to get it mailed in we got an email saying they wouldn’t accept mailed in applications anymore and we have to go to the office and leave it in the drop box so we are planning on doing that this Friday. Hopefully you get yours soon! That’s exciting!!

View Quoted Comment Omg what when was this? That makes me nervous now because on the forms it says they are accepting mail 😅I don’t see the difference between the drop box and mail! I’m nervous now