Cousins on Guest List

Some people have a A list and a B list. The A list goes out first then the B list goes out after RSVP's. There are pros and cons to this but it's fine if you do it.

Are you really close to all 17 of your cousins? If you can only have 70 people at the wedding in the Keys, perhaps cut out all cousins and instead invite them to an at home reception?

But I suggest prioritizing your guest list, your MUST haves, your Would Really Like To Have, and your Would Be Nice but Not a Big Deals. And if you ask or send an STD to them, you have to send them an invite, and what if they can all make it? You'd have no room for them. Not to mention, you may want to still invite people who can't make it -- I have a cousin in England, he's not coming, but he should still be invited, ya know?

I have 30 maternal first cousins, not including their spouses or children (15 so far). In my case, I didn't invite them even though I would have liked to. A and B lists may be a good solution for you.

Also, I did invite my paternal cousins, but I only have 2 (plus spouses and couple kids) and one cousin definitely won't be attending. I figured my maternal family would understand if one paternal cousin came. FH invited all his cousins (12), but they are all really close and the number is more reasonable.

I have somewhat of an A and B list but since they would have to travel further than most of the guests I would want to send STD's out. I have already sent them out to my Aunts and Uncles on my mothers side, I dont really expect any Aunts or Uncles from my fathers side to attend, however I think some of my cousins would. I would be ok not inviting any of my fathers side only because we were never as close as I am with my mothers side, even though I love them dearly. I do want to mention this is my second wedding too and most of them came to my first wedding 5 years ago. I was up there a few weeks ago for a wedding and was cornered by a few cousins about my wedding and politely told them the situation but now I am regretting it. I guess I will just have to talk to my FH and see if we can squeeze some more in, heck, we went from 40 ppl to 70 ppl already, whats another 10-15 (hopefully). Only another $****...

I would suggest not sending out STD at all- this is typically a no-no with destination weddings, but it doesn't seem like you really have enough space for all these people. Also- considering that it's destination- not everyone will be able to come either... try and feel them out, who would fly, who can't afford t come. Is 70 your limit for budget or space?

I have never heard that STDs are a no-no for destination weddings? I dont know if I would even call my wedding a destination wedding, it is only 1 and half hours from me and most of our guests. All of my cousins are graduated from college (except 1) with pretty good jobs so I dont think money for them is an issue, especially because who wouldnt want to vacation in the Florida Keys when you live in Pittsburgh? The venue is all outdoors so space isnt an issue, its the budget that we are trying to keep under $20,000.

Yea Megan, no offense but what are you smoking? STDs are an absolute must for any destination wedding! In fact they should be out by now if the majority is from OOT. After all, how will your friends know they need to book travel or hotels if you dont tell them more than 2 months out? This is tough but it's also why you make your guest list before you book a venue. I am assuming you are booked already? Do you have felxibility with the caterer or what is making it so expensive? If you aren't booked at the venue, maybe look elsewhere to accomodate your guest list? And if that doesnt work, maybe consider a appetizer reception instead of sit down dinner, or brunch? Those are much more affordable.

I think Megan was saying that NOT having STD's would be a no-no (since she is suggesting that she not have one)

Basically I looked at my list of cousins and thought, "Would I care if they never talked to me again" and used that as a guide to whether or not they got an invite. The thing is, you can't invite some and not others if you care about the "not others" never speaking to you again. In the end, I did not invite all of my cousins and the ones I didn't invite I have not spoken to in years and have not spoken to since.

However, if you like all of your cousins and don't want to lose any of them, it's going to have to be all or nothing. Based on the size of your venue, I would guess "nothing" is the unfortunate conclusion. If that is too hard of a pill to swallow, you may have to change your venue to accommodate them.

Thank you but it's the budget (roughly $100/person) not the venue. It's the beach so we have plenty of space. I think I'm just going to see what kind of feedback I get from others on the list first. I've already had one back out, pregnant and due a couple weeks earlier! So if we get a few more ill send them stds. I have already sent the rest out.