Cousin Picked the Same Weekend

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I agree with this 100%. Whether or not she remember you actual date, she should have been considerate enough to check with you. "Hey, cousin. We are trying to pick a wedding date and just wanted to be sure we aren't picking dates too close together so that the family is able to attend both." Not hard at all. I'm so sorry you're going through this, doll.

View Quoted Comment Yes cause who sends save the dates a year and half away? That is just bad. I ti would get Save the dates out. I mean it all seems petty but what choice do you have. If you have venues picked your in a contract. But I would not do a Save the date until I get the venue.

No I think you acting fine! That really hurts! I know not everyone is like us and will not remember dates exactly, but she should have been kind enough to even ask to make sure I️t wasn’t the same date or around same time especially if family will have to be traveling. I hope your grandparents will be able to come to your wedding. I feel so hurt for you!

View Quoted Comment I would not send the FB message cause it does not make you look like a bigger person and will start more fights.csuse her siblings and parents will stand up for her.

That absolutely sucks! And I would be really annoyed too! Heck my cousin chose the week after me to get married and I was a bit annoyed 😒 but he and his wife had their reasons so fair enough in hindsight. Whatever reasons your cousin had though, she was definitely being shady! She either didn’t remember your date and really should’ve called to ask you, or she 100% knew and that’s why she acted how she did. And even if she had a really good reason for choosing your date, she still should’ve called and given you a heads up. That would’ve been the right thing to do!
Im sure most family will go to yours anyway, and hopefully your grandmother does too. If you announced your date to family already then I think that should be the same as a ‘save the date.’ It’s just an oral one instead of a paper one, so hers shouldn’t supersede yours anyway.

I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. At a minimum she knew you were getting married and I’m sure even if she didn’t remember your date from Facebook, she should have asked when your date was. Especially if she was asking for advice on other wedding related things. That’s just common courtesy. Maybe her date was super special to her?

I do understand sending save the dates out a year in advance. That’s what we did because we wanted everyone to be able to save up for travel since we’re having our wedding in Vegas (where no one lives, including us).

Theres no getting around this situation sucking, but you will have to make peace with the fact that not all of your family may come. It’s not cool to ask someone to change their date to accommodate another couple, but I understand she may have thought it wasn’t set in stone since save the dates didn’t go out yet. All you can do is carry on and enjoy your day with those that choose to celebrate your love with you.

Girl the people who truly care about you will be there! It seems like she did it almost out of spite! I would be mad to, my cosuin is getting married a couple of months before us and i still catch myself being like petty about it because he has told people they are only getting married because she got pregnant on purpose and she is forcing marriage. She barely knows him and have been together 5 seconds while my fiance and I have been together 3 years! she literally told me I could not have my wedding July because that was their month like wth. But you have to do what makes you help and what youre ok with. if you are not okaay with family not being their you might have to change the date! im sorry!!

I don't think you're overreacting at all! I would be so upset. In fact, my fiancés cousin planned their wedding 1 week before ours! So we are hoping the family can make it to both!

I'm slowly but surely getting over it all. I will send our save the dates and invitations as planned and it's going to be what it's going to be. We will not be changing our date. We had lunch with my grandparents yesterday and Grandma pretty much made it clear that she's prioritizing my cousin's wedding. She is the only blood granddaughter of my grandfather, so I understand it being his priority; however, as far as Grandma goes, I am the only daughter of her oldest daughter (and the only daughter born to either of her daughters). So, it is a little upsetting, but I'll get over it in time. I can tell it's bothering Grandma too, so I can't be too mad at her. I am a little peeved though because her "solution" was to suggest that my fiance and I just skip the wedding all together and go to the court house. So there's that. Like I said, I'm going through with my dream wedding as planned and whoever cares enough to be there will be.

What ended up happening?? I’m going through this RIGHT NOW and could really use some help! I got engaged before my cousin and told people potential dates, which my cousin knew. But still ended up booking his dates on mine. So inconsiderate. I know I’m a few years late, sorry. Just looking for some advice.

Yea very messed up for sure! I’m not a fan. Serious Bride War vibes.

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I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to you!

Somehow I just realized I never followed up with the resolution to this story. Sometime in early 2019, several months before the weddings, my cousin's fiancé called the whole thing off and dumped her. I have no idea what happened, but from the information I've gotten through the grapevine, sounds like he realized that she wasn't the one for him.

So, it worked out that my grandparents ended up attending my wedding and my grandpa even did a nice reading during the ceremony.

The only family drama we ended up dealing with in the long run was that an aunt and uncle, as well as their two grown kids and their spouses, no showed after RSVPing to attend. Turns out my cousins were mad at me because they wrote in their kids' names (a total of 4 under the age of 6) onto the RSVP cards and I called to politely inform them that my reception venue did not allow children (it was a pub). They didn't like that answer.