Cousin issues

I may also be in the minority, but maybe there is a certain time of the year she wanted to have her wedding. Let’s say it was in the fall when the leaves were changing color for example, there is a limited time when that happens. Also, I assume her and the cousin live in the same area, so I would think most guests would be in the area. If she wanted to have her wedding on a certain date and then found out the cousin was having it a week later, in her mind that might have been the perfect time for her and her venue. Is she supposed to now re-arrange all of her plans? And if out of town guests can’t get that much time off, would it make much of a difference if she had it a month later, for example? They would still have to travel twice. That is just my opinion, she may have been planning it the whole time then, just because the cousin announced it first doesn’t make it fair to her that she should have to rearrange everything and her plans.

I think the cousin's feelings are valid, but should probably have been kept to his/herself. We sent out our DW save the dates extremely early after checking in with all the engaged cousins to make sure there was no conflict. One of them later chose to schedule two weeks before ours due to venue availability. I was a little surprised and joked to my (future-)husband that I should be miffed, but that was it. We attended their wedding and then they attended ours. It was a great time at both. Since our save the dates went out earlier, OOT family had already made plans to attend our wedding and did not travel a second time.

View Quoted Comment Did you consider the cousins honeymoon? You should have talked to her first. That can’t please everyone is 100 percent rude,

View Quoted Comment Their wedding is after so it wouldn’t affect their honeymoon at all, and we are not going on a honeymoon after our wedding in order to attend their wedding.

View Quoted Comment

Same state doesn't necessarily mean anything. I live in a state that's as big as most of the eastern seaboard. How far out of town are those 25-30 guests? 25-30 people is a significant number, not an "only."

View Quoted Comment Funny you say that as I live on the east coast 30 min tops apart

As someone in this exact situation, I will say it sucks. My cousin is getting married in a different city a week after us. Our shared family now has to choose which wedding to attend because my cousin's fiancee couldn't listen to reason and plan for another day.

We sent out our STDs 4 months before they were even engaged, so they obviously knew our date and location. My wedding is now the one no one can attend because of this.

I think it wouldn’t bother me but not everyone is the same. I actually had a talk with some friends a while back and we all came up with the conclusion that people always tend to compare one wedding with the next specially so close together. Like this was better, I liked this other dress better or the food. So maybe this is something she foresees happening. On the other side weddings for guest can get a little expensive if you need a new dress or rent a tux, get professional hair and make up or even the hotel stay and of course the presents. Yours being first and most likely having the same guest from the family side might put a financial strains for some as is just a week apart. I would sit down with them and explain the reason behind your decision and that you have no bad intentions behind it.

Is your fiance close with this cousin? If so, I find it annoying that your fh wouldnt have known the cousins date and you could have planned it at a later date. Personally I find it rude if families plan a wedding near eachother. Like if you know someone is getting married, its pretty simple to ask their date to make sure the 2 dates arent close.
But if your fh is not at all close with the cousin, then i guess its really not a huge deal, but i personally would have still asked what their date was and planned my wedding after theirs

Actually, this happened to me. My husband's cousin got married a week after we did (6 days, actually, because we got married Saturday and they got married the Friday after). As far as I know, no one was upset about it, and my husband and I put off our honeymoon in order to attend their wedding. Your life can't revolve around your cousin's life and vice versa. The world simply doesn't work that way, and of the cousin has a problem with it, too bad. You deserve a special wedding day as much as she does, and it is hard to make sure schedules with venues, work, and other stuff match up! It's too bad about your cousin, but imo, you did nothing wrong.

Every couple gets one day. You made the best decision for you, the cousin did as well. She's allowed to feel however she wants about it, but those feeling should not have been expressed to you. You have just as much right to a date as she does. I seriously wouldn't worry about it. She's just being petty.

I'm in a similar situation. My FH and I have been engaged for over a year now, and I even asked my cousin to be a BM in our wedding. Fast forward nine months and she is engaged herself. They ended up picking a date four months before ours. But I still feel like she is stealing the spotlight from me a bit because I know a good portion of our family wont be able to afford to go to both. I don't want to say anything because I want her to be happy, but it still hurts my feelings. I was also a little bummed because I know with her wedding, she probably wont be able to attend all of my prewedding events.

Cousin is definitely being ridiculous. She's not even a sibling, very few guests will overlap, and you're both in the same town. She needs to realize that it's not just HER family that needed to be considered in YOUR wedding.

View Quoted Comment This is what I wanted to see! Thank you! Sharing is caring!

I think they are being a little ridiculous. My cousin scheduled his wedding the day before mine even though everyone already knew my date. I'm not mad about it either. It will be a lot easier for my aunt in Florida if she does attend his wedding. She's the only one from the family invited to my cousin's wedding.