Courthouse wedding then ceremony and reception.

Why the gap? Usually there's a reason for these, such as a military deployment or illness in the family.

Oh boy, here we go. This rarely goes over well here, though we do this all the time. Usually, there is a compelling reason for getting married ahead of time.

Why are you getting married early?

I think you have that fear because a courthouse marriage IS a real marriage ceremony. Out of curiosity, why do you want to get married early?

Want to be put on his insurance is all. Plus it gives is extra time to save up for what we have started planning.

Will you be lying to your guests and pretending to get married in your big white dress when you're actually already married? If so, many of us have a problem with that.

ETA - this is a controversial topic and many of these posts have become heated in the past just FYI.

So... My first marriage we were going to do this (in a pinch, immigration blah blah blah). Honestly we never got around to the "big white dress" part because we WERE married. Honestly, it would've felt less special than what it feels like planning the whole legitimate thing with FH right now. Wait, or do something small now. I can speak from someone who planned to do this, it never happened because other things were more worth our money and there was a lot of time where I felt cheated and sad because I didn't share my day with anyone (it was just us).

I just saw your reasoning. If it's for insurance and saving I wouldn't be surprised if it's just "not worth it" in the future because you ARE married.

Are you planning on telling people about your courthouse wedding?

You can call your later ceremony a "vow renewal" or something.

Some people get really up in arms about this, but I could not care less.

Of course I wouldn't be lying to anyone. We would like to do something with everyone else as well.

And many of us don't have a problem with it at all. It's not lying, it's a different sequence of events.

Tell your parents. Tell your officiant (of course). Do what works for you.

The celebration with your wedding is the celebration; the signing of your license is your wedding. Only you can decided what "specialness' is attached to either day.

Would it really be that much more expensive to get your own insurance for less than a year? Have you really explored all your other options?

Well, it likely WILL feel less special because you will already be married when you have that ceremony. But that is a sacrifice you may have to make by getting married in advance. You can't have everything. If you want to get married early and gain the benefit of insurance, then you give up some of the "special" feeling of a traditional wedding day where you are married in front of family and friends. It's up to you to decide if it's worth it.

I agree with Celia

I agree with previous posters, once you are married your priorities tend to change and there's much less motivation to put out the money for something that happened a while back. If you truly want the traditional wedding and reception and would regret not having it, it's best to have a longer engagement.

Can I ask what the requirements for the insurance are? I was able to get on FH's insurance because we were committed to one another. At the time we weren't engaged but had talked about marriage and we're living together. I would see if your insurance allows for something like that if you are worried about the ceremony feeling fake.

IMO, the only time this is okay is if you tell your guests you're already married or you get married only a few days before your ceremony for logistical reasons. Getting married this year and then having this big ceremony next year will seem less special because it's not really your wedding. You can celebrate with them, no problem. Just have a big celebration of marriage party. You can even re-do the ceremony so you can wear the big white dress, but that's a vow renewal, not a wedding.

Stay at home mom, so can't really afford to pay for insurance.

I agree with Emily that there's a trade off here. Either you save money getting on his insurance by getting married now and risk the future celebration not being what you always wanted, or you get the big special wedding you want next year, but have to spend more money on insurance.

I think the best way to make your vow renewal feel the most special is if you plan it for an anniversary of your original wedding date. Then you're not celebrating on a random day, but you're celebrating on the day that is already special and meaningful to both of you.

Have you applied for government subsidized insurance? If he did not claim you on taxes his income is not considered and you would likely qualify for medicaid. If he did claim you, his income would be considered and you could apply for marketplace insurance.

I made a post about this just the other day. Of course I'm only 3 months out. Do you have an illness or chronic issue causing you to need continuous medical treatment? If not, it may be better to just wait.

We decided to just wait & get married like we planned in July. I too feel it will be less special.

If you can't afford insurance, and you have a child, why don't you just get married later this year with immediate families? You can go to a courthouse, wear a white dress, and go out to dinner after? How many people were you looking to invite to your later on "wedding"?