Nina
Just Said Yes May 2020

Court house wedding before actual wedding

Nina, on March 18, 2020 at 2:20 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 2 24
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Due to the coronavirus we had to postpone our May 2nd wedding. We are considering doing a court house wedding on May 2nd (I have an amazing rehearsal dinner dress, have a photographer, and still make it a special day)and then hosting the full wedding at a later date. While I love this idea, I have a few concerns.
1.) people will be upset/think it’s weird that we still do a ceremony even though we are already married. I still want to walk down the aisle with my dad, with my long veil down to my fiancé.
2.) will already being married take away from that moment of walking down the aisle? Or will we still be just as excited that we’ve made it through all of this?3.) we’ve postponed our bachelorette/bachelor parties and my bridal shower. Again, would it be weird if we still had these at a later date even though we are already married
Im just not sure how to handle this as obviously there’s no etiquette for a pandemic 🙃

24 Comments

Latest activity by Dana, on March 30, 2020 at 4:11 PM
  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    Since you would already be married, it will not be a wedding. It will be a vow renewal and usually having any types of parties would be frowned upon. In this case, I don't think people would look at is as bad but be understanding that you may get some comments.

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  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    Are court houses open where u are located? Here in NYC THEIR all closed 😵😞however no it will not be werid at all to do it later on that to me is actually a smart idea to take these steps and still be married.
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  • Nina
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Nina ·
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    Thank you for your response!
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  • Nina
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Nina ·
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    Currently they are still open in Kansas but his grandpa is a pastor so we can always have him do it!
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  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    Oh that's perfect ...
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  • Anne Marie
    Beginner March 2021
    Anne Marie ·
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    We’re going to try to do the same! We had people suggest it to us. Just turns into a big “wedding celebration” 8 months later (only Saturday we can get)
    But I feel like it’s similar to like when Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner got married in Vegas for legal purposes then had a big wedding in Paris.
    People should be way more understanding at this time. There’s a reason that affects the whole world why it was moved. Plus less to worry about the day of
    • Reply
  • Nina
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Nina ·
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    Thank you! That put my mind at ease a little. Will you guys still be doing a ceremony or just a rehearsal at your wedding
    • Reply
  • Ciera
    Savvy May 2020
    Ciera ·
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    Thinking of doing the same
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  • Anne Marie
    Beginner March 2021
    Anne Marie ·
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    We’re doing the whole thing! Ceremony and reception on our new date. Just as I planned. I’m not missing my chance to wall down the aisle with my long veil and my dad. I planned for 2 years so I’m not giving it up. We’re under crazy circumstances so I think whatever you want on the day, is 100% justified. It’s still your day, you just have one less thing to worry about with the marriage certificate.


    We might even redo the ring ceremony. We have some Irish and Filipino traditions that we’re going to do in addition to but we might just do those. We’re trying to have fun with it. I’m leaving our original date on a lot of stuff I made and we might have his brother who is officiating say “and for the second time, the new mr & Mrs”
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  • Nina
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Nina ·
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    Love this! It is giving me a lot of positivity towards this situation. Like you I don’t want to miss some of these moments but am SO ready to just be married. It will be a truest unique experience!
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    A little less than half the courthouses are open in Indiana and more will close in the next week or two so please get your marriage license soon! I don’t think it’s weird at all and I think everyone will be super understanding and supportive given the circumstances. You’re going through a lot together. People want to celebrate that! Even if the marriage is already official.
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  • Megan
    Beginner August 2020
    Megan ·
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    I don’t think it’s weird at all! The people who truly love you will want to celebrate you two and will be understand that circumstances outside of your control led to the disruption in order. You should not be shorted your special events and celebrations because of something you can’t control. You deserve your celebrations 🎉
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  • Corie
    Savvy May 2020
    Corie ·
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    That is exactly what I would do. I think it sounds great!! Those who really love and support you will be understanding of the circumstances. Best wishes💕
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  • R
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Rachel ·
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    Honestly kind of shocked by this harsh response. Amidst everything going on right now, I would think every single person you invite and who is important to you would be understanding. And even if this is just how you choose to get married (which a lot of couples are doing nowadays, pandemic or not), it’s your choice. It doesn’t have to be a renewal - maybe you could write your own vows for the ceremony down the road so it’s more special and a bit different than a traditional ceremony. I don’t think any of this should ever be frowned upon because it’s not anyone else’s place to judge. You should do what makes you happy as a couple! This is mine and my fiancé’s plan if we end up having to postpone so I would hope and pray that nobody has the mindset of the previous comment. Good luck in whatever you end up choosing! 💕
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  • Nina
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Nina ·
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    Thank you so much for this response! It’s great to hear that so many people are supportive of this!❤️
    • Reply
  • Virginia
    Super June 2021
    Virginia ·
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    The problem is filing the marriage license and certificate. The county clerk here will not process anything wedding related. You have 5 days to get your license validated once you’re married. If a pastor marries u and u can’t file, the marriage isn’t legal.
    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Expert October 2018
    Stephanie ·
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    My husband and I got married in April, had the big shebang in October. Yeah only our closet friends and family knew, but it WAS ALREADY PAID FOR, almost in full. I’m ready for the comments of saying how unethical this was to deceive our guests. But I had my dress for 14 months, I had my venue for 18 months, school to complete, and we took our time paying for it. I know if more than one couple who did this, celebs are doing it too, so I think it’s becoming less frowned upon. Our wedding was definitely still a wedding, with all the bells and whistles, even if the law says we were married in April. It’s our little secret. We don’t celebrate our first anniversary In April, although it was an absolutely beautiful day. Our wedding ceremony was beautiful where we wrote our vows, and our officiant wrote the most beautiful ceremony. I sang to my husband at the reception and we sang the Eagles Fight Song. It was a really fun time. Would people had less fun if they knew we were already married? No. It worked for us. My opinion on telling people, we didn’t. But in this circumstance I do not think people would care even a little, if you got married before the rescheduled party. If you’d been planning for 1-2 years, it would make sense for you just want to be married.
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  • R
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Rachel ·
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    YES I love this so much!! Gave me hope for how great our wedding is going to be if it has to be postponed. Thank you so much for sharing!
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  • Sara
    Savvy October 2020
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    Hi There! I'm doing exactly what you mentioned. My friend and photographer will stand in as our witnesses for our "signing of the papers" on April 24th. My photographer has a shoot planned for us wearing my rehearsal dinner dress as well as custom "Mr & Mrs Quarantine" shirts. The real ceremony will be later, walking down the aisle exchanging vows, etc. Personally, I think it is 2020; people get married QUITE differently now than they did 50 years ago. If people are personally offended by the decision we have made, that is simply not my problem. Do what feels best for you!

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  • Anna
    VIP October 2020
    Anna ·
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    So I’ve attended the church wedding of a friend who had done the court wedding prior. The court wedding was done in order to get her approved for living on the base or something I forget exactly. While I wasn’t close enough to the friend to have known this ahead of time, the pastor still addressed it as they wanted to celebrate their commitment in front of God and their friends.


    And then my coworker shared that he and his wife married quickly due to her dad having health issues. It was small and intimate, but they had a 1yr vow renewal to which they invited everyone and did a big reception.
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