Constructing your own agnostic ceremony...

The text of the comic:

Calvin: What's it like to fall in love?

Hobbes: Well... say the object of your affection walks by...

Calvin: Yeah?

Hobbes: First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation shorts the circuits to your brain and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until she leaves.

Calvin: THAT'S LOVE?!?

Hobbes: Medically speaking.

Calvin: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!

^ That is a super cute quote! My brother is marrying us, he has never done this before but I am confident he will do a great job!

We had a friend marry us and I wrote the whole ceremony myself, other than the officiant's intro. I did a lot of googling and you can find a lot of recommendations under secular ceremony. Our structure:

Prelude

Processional

Welcome and Introduction (our officiant/friend said some lovely words about us)

First Reading (The Velveteen Rabbit...kills me every time)

Declaration of Intent (where you say "I Do")

Exchange of Vows

Second Reading (Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda)

Wine Box Ceremony

Exchange of Rings

Signing the License

Declaration of Marriage (I now introduce Mr and Mrs...you may kiss the bride)

Recessional

We are having a non-religious wedding but are having the officiant build it mostly because he seems like a cool guy and we meshed well at the meeting. We both trust him. But I also found this website:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguillaume/beautiful-and-unique-wedding-readings-from-books

Not sure if that would be helpful. Non-religious ceremonies do exist so just keep searching!

Did those who wrote their own ceremony actually write every word?

No one writes every word. It's not necessary.... there are plenty of things that have been already written/said that are lovely.

This is what I do;

Opening Reading (not scripture; refer to http://pinterest/celiamilton for the Wedding Vows and Readings board)

Statement of Support (parents, are you on board? Not every couple does this)

Statement of Intent (Have you come here freely....?)

Welcome to the Guests

Roses for the Moms

Remembrance moment (if done)

Blessing of the Pets

Love Story of the Couple

Guest Reading

Exchange of Vows

Gift of the Rings

(Unity Ritual, if you're doing one; hand fasting/sand/candles/Tequila

Pronouncement, Kiss!!!

(The only thing I would do after this is the Seven Steps (Hindu and Jewish), Jumping the Broom or Breaking the Glass. In most cases, I feel like anything after the kiss is anti-climatic)

Recessional

I don't sign the license during the ceremony (though I think in Canada, this is pretty widely done). In NJ, the couple doesn't sign the license on the day, and I really don't like legal documents to be signed when people are nervous already.

What Celia said. Read some others and piece together what you like from each.

Thanks Celia! I knew you'd have a nice structure for me to work off of.

I'm dying over blessing of the pets. I can just see my pitbull sitting stoically, while the chihuahua runs around like a "blessed" madman.

The only thing we're having after the kiss is a lovely "Mazeltov" from our officiant.

M!!!! You HAVE to post pictures of your pittie!! PLEASE!!!! Here's our goof, Pibb. He's something else

We are doing:

1. Processional

2. Reading-captain corelli's mandolin

3. Officiant Welcome

4. Reader-Invite for a moment of sharing peace

5. Friends little girl sings

6. Officiant talks about modeling love

7. Reading-Massachusetts State definition of marriage

8.Sharing of Love by Bride and Groom

9. Friend sings

10.Reading from a Unitarian Church Handout

11. Community Commitment

12. Perfect Circle (not the usual one)

13.Exchange of Rings

14. Reading by Wedding Party

15. Reading

16. Announcement of Bride and Groom

17.Recessional

Something to keep in mind is 'the front rows', whether considering risqué language or completely sidestepping religious references. For many families, a simple mention of inviting God at the beginning can go a long way.

Northern, your ceremony sounds great!

But it does sound like its totally kosher to pick a person and then give them the reading, as opposed to them choosing it, correct?

Thanks Celia...that means a lot..you have provided some great advice to the brides on the forum! Brides and Grooms that hire you are lucky to have your insight to help guide them.

Excited to hear everyone's readings..the words mean a lot to me and hopefully the ceremony will be meaningful to those that attend at least somewhat too!

We are doing a nonreligious ceremony. Our friend is officiating (this isn't his first wedding) and we wrote out the whole ceremony using pieces from different places. Our officiant does not identify as Christian so we are not having God mentioned at all during the ceremony because that would be awkward for him. We are having my uncle say a prayer during the reception that will add in the religion for our families without making anyone uncomfortable since we have a wide range of beliefs attending our wedding.

Here is a breakdown of ours:

PROCESSIONAL

DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE

WEDDING VOWS (our declaration of intent is done during this part, but this was trimmed down to fit our wedding program)

EXCHANGE OF RINGS

ROSE CEREMONY

DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE

RECESSIONAL

Some websites that were used for references:

http://www.angelfire.com/id/vancuren/wedscript.html

http://www.modernceremonies.com/CreateCeremony.html

http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/weddingceremony.htm

@Kathleen... here's my pitt. Ironically after the conversation in the other thread, a picture of me with her, with none of my face! ha.

Yes...I picked all my readings and then shared them with the friends I was asking to read...asked them if they felt comfortable reading their sections...they all said yes.

Also another Bride asked her readers to surprise her with a reading...that might be fun too.

I barely like a surprise birthday party, so a surprise reading at my wedding might throw me right over the edge.

This is the first one I've found that I feel mixes romance with the logistics of a relationship beautifully:

Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being ‘in love’, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.

And I just can't hear Corinthians at a wedding again. I cant.

THOSE EARS.

Be sure to give credit to the authors of your readings.

My basic outline:

Welcome

Support of Families

Reading

Question of Intent

Reading

Exchange of Vows

Reading

Exchange of Rings

Support of Guests

Vows to stepchildren

Unity Ceremony (including children)

Pronouncement

I know it seems silly, and I've either been to 1) super super casual weddings or 2) very religious weddings where i had NO IDEA what was going on... i had no idea there were so many steps! i also thought vows & intent were one in the same.

this is how we learn...