Confused & Heartbroken

View Quoted Comment He couldn’t believe I actually moved all of my stuff out. We haven’t even been living together a month. We were just very stressed and adjusting to life changes and I guess instead of working through it, it was easier to listen to his family

You've added some information that I feel is pertinent. You lived together less than a month in your relationship when this happened, you said?
I think you really need to evaluate this relationship and postponing seems like a good decision because clearly things needed to get worked out.
I agree with others than if he is this easily swayed/influenced by his family that he/you both have a far more serious issue. This is important to understand and deal with. Imagine this exact scenario but with children. His family needs to butt out but more importantly- he needs to learn that. If he doesn't see an issue with his families meddling then he is the issue, not them. He needs to buck up and be an adult and stand up for you against his family, not become poisoned towards you.
I highly suggest if you go back to not jump back into engagement. I'd suggest you step back to dating, get couples counseling, and live together for at least a few months.

I apologize if this seems harsh but it's only because I've been in 2 relationships with similar red flags. One guy had the same family issues and couldn't cut the apron strings (so to speak) and be an adult. I realized he was still a child and still controlled by his parents like a 13 year old boy.
The other guy I was with for 2 years (so about a year less than your relationship) when he asked me to move in together. After 2/3 months he realized he didn't want to be together anymore, but it took a few months of living together to realize it. Actually, he asked me to go once (2 months ish) then changed his mind then ultimately changed it back (3 months ish.) If your guys doubts started because of your new step forward (living together) then after some space is thinking it's good- there's a chance this will happen again just like with my experience.
I am sorry you're going through this and I hope things look up for you. Enjoy the beach!

As a lawyer, I think it is wise to eliminate all distractions until after the bar exam—though I do think the situation could have been avoided if you guys had not scheduled the wedding until after the exam. With that, there is nothing you can do about it now. He will have to understand that being married to lawyer means there are times where our job demands a lot, if not all, of us. There will be trials, depositions and high-stakes mediations that need your complete focus. He has to respect that. I would try to explain to him how challenging the bar exam is and how it is not be fair to your relationship to phone it in on your wedding day because you’re thinking about studying. Good luck!

But I will say couples counseling can do wonders. If you guys still love each other, and want to fight for your relationship, run to therapy. You may not be able to salvage what is lost, but you can certainly give it a fighting chance.

View Quoted Comment

Yea..I agree with this exactly

So sorry you're going through this. Was the wedding you had planned for today including your FH's family? Perhaps they are upset that you postponed with only two weeks to go. Not that it's an excuse or a justification, but if they took time off work, got you a wedding present, booked a hotel room, etc, to find out that you postponed with only 2 weeks to go might have upset them to the point where they are being cruel now towards you.

View Quoted Comment Yes, it included them. I was super close with all of them. The women in his family are school teachers or retired. So they are already off for summer break. Our families did both pay for things involving the wedding but where we “postponed” we were not out of money. They keep telling him things like i don’t love him or want to marry him because we postponed the wedding. One of the main reasons was because I wanted it to be a very small ceremony, (immediate family) and was starting to have anxiety attacks about being in front of that many people. He understood me. But his family turned on me and has got into his head. I regret so bad ever saying we should postpone because I would give anything to marry him. But now he says with everything that has happened, we can’t be together right now because he’s not good. Whatever that means. I understand he’s trying to study for the BaR as I am trying to study for the NCLEX. I just think if 2 people really love each other, they will work it out no matter what.

View Quoted Comment And his family won’t even listen to what I have to say. They have no idea the reasoning of it being pushed back. They will not talk to me. I’ve tried contacting his mom and she ignored me. I don’t know what else to do.

View Quoted Comment

This times a million.

I am sorry you are going through this. Being blindsided by someone you trusted with your heart is one of the worst feelings in the world.

I'm sorry you are going through this

From your post, it sounds like it was your idea to postpone the wedding (due to stress, anxiety, exams) & FH originally agreed. While postponing a wedding is totally fine (if couple needs more time, wants to save $, has other pressing life events etc), postponing just 2 weeks before the date (except in unpredictable case of illness, accidents, or death in the family, of course) is a pretty dramatic move, that can likely cause emotional distress in a couple, as well as sense of embarrassment, abandonment, questioning the other partner's feelings etc. You knew about exams, how come you waited until 2 weeks when everything is already planned, paid for, guests invited (and probably planned their trip, took their vacation days etc)? It sounds like there were some unresolved issues, or lack of communication underneath all this that led to the situation you guys are in now. I would focus on investigating this internally with yourself & then together, to see how it came to this point.

His family sounds passive aggressive & is just making the situation for two of you worse. It is not their place to meddle like this. But I will say, if my brother/son told me his fiancée postponed wedding 2 weeks before, I would for sure have a lot of questions about what happened.

Your FH kicking you out of the house so abruptly, without talking to you, trying to find a solution, letting you know how he feels etc. is to me alarming sign, which I would not ignore. It shows how poorly he deals with a stressful situation (not good for a happy marriage). Even though I understand that he might be hurt, confused, let down etc. kicking you out like that should not be an option. Hence, I wouldn't just continue with the relationship without some real couple's counseling.

I wish you best of luck in resolving this!

View Quoted Comment It’s not even completely about exams, it’s about the stress we had with everything on top of my anxiety about being the center of attention on wedding day. I regret ever saying we needed to postpone but i told him i would go to the courthouse and get married that day to show how much i truly do want to marry him. I have ruined all of this and I’m not sure how to turn it around.

View Quoted Comment Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You alone didn’t “ruin everything”. You guys both had a role to play in this. I feel like you offering him to get married in the courthouse right away, shows your intention to marry him & your love for him. If he didn’t want to do that but instead chose to listen to his family & kick you out of the house - that’s on him & as pp mentioned, it’s a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored.
Cab you find support in your family & close friends? Maybe talking to a professional on your own will help you cope with all this better & not blame yourself. And then couple’s therapy, if he is willing. If he won’t even listen to you explain your feelings, or work together on resolving this, then I’m sorry to say, but what happened might be for the best.
You will be ok! Stay strong! ❤️