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Savvy October 2020

Conflicted wedding dates

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Melissa, on May 1, 2019 at 5:00 PM

Posted in Planning 35

Help! I don’t know what to do. We just booked our venue this last weekend and put our down payment down. My fiancé found out today that a good friend from college pushed his wedding back one year..to the same exact date that we booked. They asked us to change our date because they have mutual college friends. I don’t know the details why they pushed theirs back a year. But they have things booked too. We haven’t asked our bridal party yet to be part of the wedding but someone he was going to ask is also in this wedding. It’s Memorial Day weekend. We are asking guests to travel so that’s a big reason why we chose it. Fiancé says we don’t need to change our weekend but we could consider changing from Saturday to Sunday... would that even make a difference? The cities are 3 hours apart.. theirs in Georgia and ours in Asheville, NC. Would friends even make it to both? I’m afraid if we do, they might drink too much the night before and then decide not to come to ours the next day and then we’d be out money and they still wouldn’t be there which is why we would change in the first place. I don’t know what to do!

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35 Comments

Savvy May 2019
Stephanie · on May 1, 2019 at 6:24 PM
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Get married whenever you want. Just keep in mind that everyone already going to the other friend’s wedding will not make it. If they don’t make up most of the guest list, then go ahead and have the wedding as planned. I wouldn’t even ask them to attend both. Your day is going to be special not matter what!
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Devoted April 2020
Simone · on May 1, 2019 at 6:25 PM
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They should change theirs. Had they not pushed theirs back it would be a non-issue. And most ppl are traveling home the Sunday after going to a wedding.
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Dedicated June 2021
Jamie · on May 1, 2019 at 6:43 PM
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Wow I’m really sorry that this has happened. I wouldn’t change my date especially after making a deposit on the venue...definitely wouldn’t if the deposit was non refundable. I agree with those who said that your friends should have spoken to you first before they changed their date. Those who love and support you will be there on your wedding regardless.
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Savvy October 2020
Melissa · on May 1, 2019 at 6:45 PM
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Thank you! Do you think having it that weekend will deter people from coming?
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Savvy October 2020
Melissa · on May 1, 2019 at 6:49 PM
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Thank you everyone! Fiancé and I just spoke again. We have decided not to change our date. We found out the other couple changed their date due to finances and somehow they skipped over letting us know. Fiancé says of it was important enough to them they’d have let us know and we are going to keep our plans. There will be a few couples who will
have to make a decision as they are mutual college friends but he says it’s not something he’s going to worry about, if they want to be there they will.
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Savvy October 2020
Melissa · on May 1, 2019 at 6:50 PM
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Awesome! Where are you getting married?
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Super July 2019
Rachel · on May 1, 2019 at 9:21 PM
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They changed their date, you don’t owe them anything and if I were you guys I’d be pissed they asked me to move my date. They’ve already changed the date once, they’re likely to change it again. I would not change my date if I were you. You already put down a deposit, tell them your date is locked in stone. Obviously since they were able to change their date once they can do it again if they really want. I think you’ll regret it if you change your date to appease others anyway.
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Dedicated August 2020
Erika · on May 1, 2019 at 9:22 PM
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One thing to check into before going any further is to contact the venue which you paid your deposit and make sure you won't lose your initial deposit, they'll allow you to change the date without any penalties and that the new date you want is even available. Next, you stated that the two weddings are 3 hrs away so would you also take that into consideration and change the time of your ceremony and reception to accommodate the guests?
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Expert June 2019
thisismrsb · on May 1, 2019 at 9:36 PM
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Wait, they sent out an invitation more than a year in advance and then they changed the date? Are you sure it wasn't a save the date?
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VIP December 2019
Michelle · on May 1, 2019 at 10:49 PM
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I agree, especially since you just booked your venue
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VIP December 2019
Michelle · on May 1, 2019 at 10:51 PM
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Oops just read your comment. I guess you don't have to change your date. Lucky you!!!! I'm having a holiday wedding as well. NYE
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Dedicated June 2019
Future Mrs. R · on May 1, 2019 at 11:42 PM
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Completely agree with this. .
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Super July 2021
Alycia · on May 2, 2019 at 2:11 AM
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It won't deter people if you give them plenty of warning. The only reason people would miss it is if they made other plans already. So get your STDs out and give them a chance to save the weekend for your wedding.
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Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on May 2, 2019 at 7:57 AM
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The Lodge at Bear River!
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Devoted October 2020
Julie · on May 2, 2019 at 8:53 AM
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Definitely not fair for thr! If I were a guest and got invited to both weddings (one Sunday, one Saturday), I probably wouldn't go to both- I'd probably just choose the closest to home and stick with that one unless I was super close to both wedding parties.
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