Brandi
Devoted July 2020

Concerns about location or fmil or both

Brandi, on September 25, 2019 at 11:54 AM Posted in Planning 1 25
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Hi all,

I hope all is well. I am recently engaged (Sept. 1) and we are expected to marry November 2020. Everything is booked – venue, DJ, photographer. Great! Got it all done in three or so weeks. We are Philadelphia natives with the bulk of our family in Philadelphia too. However, we found the perfect venue in a township approximately 20 minutes outside of Philadelphia in Norristown. Norristown isn’t far whatsoever. People travel frequently to the three malls that sit outside of Norristown (Plymouth Meeting – approximately 10 minutes from N.Town; King of Prussia - approximately 10 minutes from N.Town & Willow Grove - approximately 20 minutes from N.Town). Our venue has a ceremony room, the reception hall, open bar, cocktail hour, is beautiful AND has parking.

However, my FMIL seems to think it is too far AND claims that practically none of FI’s family will come because of distance. Thus, putting such a damper on our wedding planning.

I wanted to get married in my home church in Philadelphia but decided against it because I considered my guest and the travel. Now, we’re having our ceremony on-site. It’s still a problem.

I just wanted to know your thoughts, what you’d do in my situation and, best steps for moving forward in our wedding planning process.

25 Comments

Latest activity by KandiKrix, on September 26, 2019 at 12:37 PM
  • Brandi
    Devoted July 2020
    Brandi ·
    • Flag

    Let me also add that our families are super close so, those who don’t have cars automatically have rides AND our public transportation system is GREAT and you can literally get to any part of Philadelphia and the surrounding counties easily. The whole thing ceremony and reception is from 3-8 too.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    20 minutes is not a far drive or bad one. In fact you'd be surprised how far people will travel for weddings
    • Reply
  • Destiny
    VIP May 2020
    Destiny ·
    • Flag
    Where does ur fhs family life? Maybe shes just being negative.
    • Reply
  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
    • Flag

    20 minutes is NOTHING to travel for a wedding! I'd say up to an hour out of town is reasonable travel for a wedding in my opinion. Don't be discouraged. If people care about being at your wedding, a 20 minute drive isn't going to keep them from coming.

    • Reply
  • Brandi
    Devoted July 2020
    Brandi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    The funny thing about it is that she lives closest to Norristown out of all of our family members. We live in the far NE of Philly which would take us approximately 45 minutes at least on a good day to get there. We would have to pass by their house to get there. She and his father live all of 15 minutes away.
    • Reply
  • Sabrina
    Devoted April 2020
    Sabrina ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't change your plans because of the opinions of others, especially if you found a place you love. Your FMIL will be there and so will the rest of your family, because 20 minutes is nothing. Congrats by the way!!!!

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    20 minutes is not far at all. I have never been to a wedding that I did not have to drive AT LEAST 20 minutes to! Honestly, I would ignore her (about this). This is you and your FH's wedding and you chose the venue and you wanted for a reason. Don't let this ridiculous comment damper your planning or excitement.

    • Reply
  • Megan
    Super October 2020
    Megan ·
    • Flag
    Hi! I’m from Philly and am also getting married Nov 2020! Let me just assure you that I don’t think your plans are crazy or the distance to far at all. Also that’s a really easy drive to get up there. I don’t know why people have to complain about everything.
    I wouldn’t let her opinion of what OTHER people are going to do or think change your mind. It sounds like you have an awesome venue that you’re very excited about!
    • Reply
  • Alicia
    Dedicated March 2020
    Alicia ·
    • Flag
    Do what you want. They will travel or miss it.if they love him they will be there. Its about y'all.
    • Reply
  • J
    Devoted April 2022
    J ·
    • Flag
    I find 20 minutes to be perfectly fine. I've been to plenty of weddings that have been been further out then that!

    We are having our ceremony & reception at two different locations and they are about 30 minutes apart (mainly because California traffic is stupid haha).

    With money already down & the fact that you both love the venue I would leave it be! It is what it is and she should understand. Also at the end of the day your wedding is about YOU as a couple and if that venue is what you want then everyone else can get with the program. 20 minutes is not unreasonable at all, plus your close family & real friends will show up no matter the distance.
    • Reply
  • W-K
    Super October 2019
    W-K ·
    • Flag

    Anything under an hour I don't really consider a far distance. I think she's being silly.

    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    Wow 20 minutes is nothing. It takes me longer than that to get to the closest mall. People will be fine with that. Move forward with your plans and those that matter will be there!
    • Reply
  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
    • Flag

    What? I'm sorry but 20 minutes is not far AT ALL. I drive 45 minutes one way to work every day, so maybe I'm crazy? In my hometown you had to drive 20 minutes to get anywhere. Since when are people so lazy?

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    We planned our wedding 1 hour from where we lived. We had 10 guests live 30 minutes away, the rest lived 1+ hour away or states away. You have over a year so just send out save the dates 10-12 months out so people have a heads up. Block a few hotels early for guests, and be accommodating to those traveling. But choose whatever venue you want!

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Super September 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    There was a 20 minute drive just between our ceremony and reception locations! 20 minutes is nothing. If she's concerned about people not coming due to the distance maybe she can arrange some type of carpool transportation for people.

    • Reply
  • Jade
    Expert November 2020
    Jade ·
    • Flag
    I think 20 minutes is not bad at all. When my sister and my husband have family on opposite sides of the state so for their wedding they met in the middle and everyone had to drive 3 hours. No one had an issue with it so I really don’t think anyone would have an issue with a 20 minute drive.
    • Reply
  • Z
    Devoted November 2019
    Zoe ·
    • Flag

    I'm from philly and used to work in KOP and that drive is so doable. Also there are a ton of things to do in that area if your guests have to entertain themselves during a gap.

    • Reply
  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
    • Flag

    I think FMIL is trying to manipulate you. 20 minutes is nothing!! Most people drive an hour or more to attend family weddings. And if most of the family lives in the area, they know it's no big deal.

    Does FMIL have an alternate location that she thinks is better in terms of distance?

    Don't make your decisions based on others' opinions. Do what you and FH want. It's your wedding.

    Btw, just two weeks ago, FH and I attended a wedding for a former coworker of his, whom I don't even know, and we drove 90 minutes for that!!

    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    Wow, I can't believe she is complaining over 20 minutes. She would have hated our wedding. Our families live 3 hours from each other so we picked a town in the middle so both families drove about 1.5 hours to the venue. We live in a completely different state from both families and our venue. We had to drive about 4 hours to our venue so 20 minutes is nothing. I would continue planning as if she said nothing. Most people won't even bat an eye over 20 minutes. It sounds like she is just being difficult. If you really are concerned, I would have your fiance reach out to his family himself to see if they have a problem with it, but I doubt they will.

    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    Anything less than a 1 hour drive should be fine! 20-30 minutes? Sounds like a dream (we can even drive across our CA city during rush hour in 20 minutes!)
    • Reply

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