Compromising is Key!

What’s the specific divide that you two are having when it comes to the topics of rings and drink tickets?

There have been server all disagreements but usually I find that if I lay out detailed reasoning of something I’m thinking, he agrees with me. If it’s something he can’t agree with me on, I bring our friends into it. The last one has only happened once and it was in regards to hiring a DJ. One of our friends used to be a DJ and had done a playlist for his wedding and regretted it. So having a professional who tried to get by cutting that cost say they had regrets really helped my case.

Well in regards to compromise what if he gives you something that you want and you let him have what he wants. In regards to the Rings why don't you get the ring you want and he gets the ring he want although I'm not exactly sure what the discussion is in regards to that. What I mean is that maybe if you let him have his way on the train tickets then he can give you something that you want. Sometimes compromise is not fully easy so maybe it's just my FHN died but sometimes it could be if you let me have this I'll let you have this. For example he's giving me the elopement ceremony that I want as opposed to going to the courthouse so I'm letting him have the honeymoon that he wants. Maybe those are two different extremes though.

View Quoted Comment That’s some good advice for sure, I did try to compromise for something I wanted, but it was a no. For the rings situation, we agreed to get the same ring style, color etc., but we can not find a ring that we mutually agree on. As for the bar/drink tickets, he wants to get each guest 2 drink tickets, our budget isn’t that big to pay for people’s drinks. We agreed to give each person a shot of tequila as they arrive lol.

View Quoted Comment I definitely agree with not to break the bank trying to give everyone a drink. I went to one wedding where we all got one drink ticket and then after that we purchased our drinks. At the end of the day you are already providing a reception for people so if people really want to have a few drinks then could bring a little bit of cash pay for it that's what they would do if they went out to any restaurant or bar right? In regards to the wedding bands I think it's very nice the direction you two are going in but just like my FH and I, we have different styles. You two need to do what's best for you but I wouldn't stress because as long as you each have some kind of symbol showing that you guys are together that is what most likely is important. It's just my opinion but I think it is okay if they do not match completely.

View Quoted Comment My partner wants to purchase every guest a drink ticket which I was ok with but as we get things scheduled our budget isn’t that big. I feel like if folks want to drink they can purchase their drinks. We did agree to give each guest a shot with a souvenir shot glass with our names and wedding date. The other issue is with the rings, we planned on getting the same type of style and color, we just can’t agree to one ring we both love.

I think the easiest hting to do is just find rings you both like. You'll be happier because you have to wear it everyday. If they don't match it's no big deal.

I would 100% be annoyed as a guest that you spent money on souvenir shot glasses and a shot of tequila, but couldn't swing a couple kegs or even drink tickets. Save that money and use it for the bar.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your perspective it gives me insight to how to manage our conflict I agree about the rings, I want a ring love because I will see it everyday! Your feedback gave me an idea about making drink tickets for beer or wine only. I will talk it over with the future hubby. Thanks again!!

I agree with the shots. Most people would rather have a drink than a shot, especially first thing walking in. And tequila is very specific, actually all shots are. There would not be one shot that all my friends would agree on and I would definitely not offer this as an alternative to a bar or a drink. Also very few people are going to use your souvenir shot glasses, I would skip that and save the money for sure.
As far as disagreements go, I think it’s really important to work on solving your own problems. We never bring other people into our stuff, it’s a disagreement between the two of you, no one else’s opinions matter and no one wants to hear other people’s problems. I’d work on communication and consider that way more important to figure out before you get married than drink tickets or ring colors. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment You have some clear points for sure. Tequila is just what our family and friends have known us to indulge in. Not everyone in our families and friends are drinkers nor will every shot glass have any alcohol. It’s just a parting gift we wanted our guests to have. Our communication skills are wonderful, I know your intentions to give feedback were genuine, it did come across as a bit judgemental. I simply wanted to put out a discussion about our only two issues with planning our wedding. Thus far everything has gone smooth and we communicate our wants, needs, and desires with out judgement. Thanks again for your prospective.

View Quoted Comment I am so sorry for your loss (((HUG)))

View Quoted Comment I am confused? What loss?

View Quoted Comment Kristen said her FHN died.

View Quoted Comment I totally missed that

View Quoted Comment Kristen I’m sorry for your loss, I’m sorry I missed that detail in your message.

View Quoted Comment Gotcha! Well is sounds like you’ve been working out the compromises pretty well so far. Hopefully it continues. Best wishes!

View Quoted Comment OMG NOOOOOO... NIT DIED... DID. DAMN SWYPE FEATURE LOL. I am so sorry. I how I did not put a bad omen out there. So sorry for the confusion.

View Quoted Comment It was atypo. I meant did. So sorry for the confusion. I am so embarrassed.

View Quoted Comment Oh thank goodness, yeah I wish this discussion board allowed you to fix the typos, I had a few lol. Maybe it does while using a desktop rather than a smartphone.

View Quoted Comment Lol. I prayed on that accident for putting it out there. He giggled them said how could I put that out there, jokingly.