Complete Breakdown Over Missing My Mother

I just want to say, I think your friends would want to be given the opportunity to help you with this. Vulnerability is intimacy. I know if any friend of mine was feeling this way, I would absolutely want to know, no matter what was going on in my life at the time. That's what friends are for. I'd feel badly afterward if I found out they hadn't felt comfortable coming to me. These are important parts of life - let your friends be a part of it.

I can't offer anything much beyond a virtual hugs but you all have them. Know if I were there in person I'd give you the biggest hug I could

<3

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, I think AL has a wonderful idea with writing the letter.

Im sorry for your losses. I was in the same boat for my wedding day. I lost my mom 2 years ago. The whole wedding planning wasnt easy. I had my aunt who was a lifesaver and took my moms place,in a way. She helped me through most of it. There were times after i went to choose my dress and cake that afterwards i found myself feeling angry she couldnt be there with me. And then i would just break down crying because i missed her so much. The process wasnt easy but i was fortunate enough for my mom to meet my husband before she passed so i knew she wanted me to be with him. I got married in the church my mom and step dad were married in. Stepping it there was really hard for me but i felt closer to her by having it there.

Whenever I got sad,i would just say out loud I miss my mom. And for some reason this would help. Incorporating her into the wedding in different ways also helped. I hope this helps you to know you are not alone and on your day just try to remember she would be happy for you and would want you to be happy. Know that she is watching you whether you know it or not.

This is rough. I feel for you OP. My grandmother raised me. She's been gone 6 years. She never met my FH but I actually talked to her about him shortly before she passed. Her opinion meant literally the world to me. She wasn't there to help me through my divorce.

My mom hasn't been in my life for most of it. She left when I was 4 and my grandmother stepped in to help my dad. My dad and I are closer than ever

so there's an upside but I still miss her like hell.

I believe our loved ones will be there for us to celebrate. It's one of those things that gets me through. I know she's watching me. I hope she's proud.

I'm in this club too. Our wedding is 3 days after the 10 year anniversary of her passing.

This planning is going to be rough. Lean on the women around you and know that whatever you are doing your mom is proud of you. She may not be here physically, but in spirit she is with you every step of the way.

@SSJ I am so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you. The emotion coming from your words is so genuine and sad.

I can't give you advice about this, but I can say that I am sure she is watching over you every minute as you plan this day, and she will be with you on your wedding day. She is so proud of you, how strong you are, how beautiful you are, and how happy you and FH are together.

Please lean. Lean on FH, lean on your friends (I know they're busy too, but I promise you they will want to be there for you, even just as a shoulder to cry on), lean on WW.

Have you though about a grief counselor? All that your feeling is normal, especially during this time, and it might help to talk to a professional.

Again, I'm so sorry, and truly I will be thinking about you/sending prayers your way.

I feel for you all...I have so many couples who have lost parents, and it is so, so difficult to plan such a milestone without them, though you're never really without them.

Think about the ways to include her in your ceremony and reception; a charm? Her favorite perfume? Her favorite flower as a singular statement in your bouquet? For sure, talk to your officiant about how to talk briefly about her in the ceremony.

My favorite story about a mom is this one; I hope it makes you laugh at least!

I had a great couple a few years ago and in the course of our working together, I learned that her mom had passed away a few years before the wedding. The bride mentioned that all the flowers would be pink to commemorate her mom in a kind of silent way

So, me being me, I wrote a flowery sweet passage about the flowers....pink being the color of romance and love (that's actually true, lol) and on and on...

When my bride read the script and got back to me with the edit, she told me that I had it all wrong....

"My mom, God love her, was a battle ax. She was a hard woman who thought that a man who would buy pink roses was a fool; that pink carnations were half the price and lasted three times as long".

Well, I was plucked and immediately changed the flowery prose to something more suited to her mother, but every time I see a pink carnation (they did topiaries of them at each table) I think of that couple!

You'll find a way to incorporate your mom that will be both special and inspiring. Best wishes!

I am so so sorry for your loss. Just know that she is near to you every step of this journey. My heart goes out to you. We are here if/when you need us

@SSJKarigan - There are not any words that can adequately express my sorrow for your situation. I don't know how you feel but I can imagine it is going to be the same as when my FSD gets married as well.

Don't hesitate to come to WW. Its obvious that there are a lot of caring women here who will be here to listen to you.

Hugs sweet sister.

Aw, Sweetie I am so sorry.

As I often say, she is with you always!

So is WW and me, your WW monster xoxoxoxoxox

I'm so deeply sorry for your grief and I understand how you feel. Nothing can replace the love and support of a mother (and father). Both my FH and I have lost both our parents, and my FH also lost his sister and recently his mother and sister-in-law. Even though our wedding day will be one of the happiest in our lives, it will be bitter-sweet as we long for them to share in the moments we know they would cherish.

While I am saddened to not have my parents with me, I take comfort in the great times we did have and that we always expressed our love and gratitude to each other.