College kids as adults for wedding invites

I say do what you prefer! Maybe make sure if you do send to their dorm to make sure they know you sent it so the know to check.

Can you just ask the person for their own address instead of asking their parents? I lived on my own in college and worked full time. I wouldn’t have thrown a fit, but it would have rubbed me the wrong way if someone sent me a wedding invite to my mom’s house.

None of our friends that are in college live in dorms, but I can give you some insight on what we did for those that aren't living with their parents but are either in college, or newly graduated!

We just sent on invite to the family household and addressed it to the family since they are all invited! The only exception we made was one of my bridesmaids, who will be getting her own and will RSVP on her own since the bridal party has extra stuff to RSVP to, and we don't want their entire family thinking they're also invited. The other exceptions are those that don't live with their parents and we know they're in a relationship, so we're letting them bring their SO. We gave these people their own invite as well because they'll be RSVPing for themselves and their SO, and we just don't see why their parents need to be doing that for them lol.

If you want to invite the college aged guests and let them have a plus one, then I think it's fine to give them their own invite so they can RSVP on their own. But if you don't plan on doing that, then sending one for the entire family is the best option so they're all under one RSVP.

I have several cousins in college, and while I know I could have sent it to their dorm, I felt like it would have been safer to just send to their parents house. I know they all keep in touch with their parents and even go back home every few weeks. However, I did send them each their own individual invitation.

In this situation where the parents have already made it clear they don’t view their adult children as adults, I’d reach out to the person actually living away from home for an address. Or i would send multiple invites to the family home so that it’s clear the adult cousin and their SO are both invited. For any college age cousins I had, we asked them specifically where they wanted their invites sent and sent separate ones to them (including a plus one or SO when it applied).

The youngest at my wedding will be a college sophomore next fall in Tampa, and I’m sending it to her parents in NY addressed to the family. She’ll get the memo.

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Good idea, just reaching out to them on instagram now to get their addresses directly.

I agree that it ultimately doesn’t matter, but I was mildly offended when I was included on a family invite as an adult. I was actually out of college at the time by about three years. My brother (who was still in college) & I were both included on the family invite. We both (brother & I) thought it was weird, but not something that would make us not go to the wedding. If anything, my parents were more bothered because they then had to communicate the invitation information & get our answers since neither of us lived at home anymore. It did read as though the couple just wanted to save money...but I’m also not going to begrudge someone wanting to save money, haha.

I think you should do what you think is best. As you said, they are adults. At 18, I worked full time to pay rent while taking full time classes. Like Caytlyn, I wouldn't have thrown a fit, but I would be a little annoyed that my invite was sent to my mom's house. I think the continued attitude of parents not seeing their college-aged children as adults is a discussion for another day lol. Can you maybe reach out to the college-aged individuals via social media or something to get their address/preference?

Hi Elizabeth! I think this is a case by case situation. You know your guests and you know who's still a "kid" or not, no matter the age. Now that I think about it . . I invited 2 friends who are the same age. One I sent the invite for the family which includes his parents. And one I sent to him personally. I didn't even think about it when I did it, it just felt right.

I addressed all of my save the dates to each person or couple individually! If I didn't have their number, I messaged a few on instagram to get their addresses.

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Haha definitely a conversation for another day. Most of the college students in question are dependent on their parents, but also they are making adult decisions and conducting their own lives, so I don't want them to feel like I don't respect them as adults. But maybe I'm overthinking this because I didn't think twice when it happened to me in college. I just messaged everyone on instagram to see what they want, and so far one just wants it sent to their parents so they don't have to handle the rsvp lol.

18+ is a legal adult. Give them their own invite.

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I think you're doing the right thing by sending them their own invites. When I still lived with my mom, but had started my career we received an invite that was 'and family' and I wasn't sure if that included me anymore.

I think sending directly to the dorm/wherever they're living is a great idea, especially if you're inviting their SOs.

My parents always did this with my brother and I when we were in college also. i’m sure the thinking is that
A. Dorm mail is not always reliable
B. College students are not always reliable LOL(Ie, well they lose it before they even open it? Even if they do open it, will they actually take the time to RSVP?)C. They don’t want you to waste money on additional invitations
I’m sure the parents (and apparently even one of the students) probably just feel it is in your best interest to just let the parents worry about it. It’s completely up to you if you would like to reach out to the students personally to get their campus addresses. The benefit of that to you would be that they would each know their significant others are invited, and there would be the requirement to RSVP for both people, so you aren’t left wondering whether or not they will be bringing their significant other, or if their parents didn’t even let them know their SO was invited. The downfall is, you will probably be hunting them down for that information, because between classes, studying and partying, RSVPing for a wedding probably isn’t going to be top on their mind.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this if they don't live with the parents and they are 18+ then they should be viewed as adults. I'd ask the college students where to send it.

When my cousin got married, at the time I was living with my parents and she still sent me and my boyfriend an invite. She did it for all of us living in the same household as our parents. When I asked her about it she said as long as you are 18+ I will treat you like the adult you are and send you your own invite. I felt respected as an adult by her, however if she would have sent one to the house for the whole family I wouldn't have been offended but that's because I lived with my parents at the time. I feel if I no longer live with my parents then I should be getting my own separate invite.

If you do social media, I would try to contact your cousins directly on Facebook instead of going through the parents.

Update: Thank you everyone for your advice! I ended up reaching out to everyone directly and got quick responses! Two wanted the invite to be grouped in with their parents, one wanted it sent to their parents' not the dorm, but one did want it sent to the dorm. I think she is really excited to be getting a proper individual invitation for her and her boyfriend, so I'm glad I asked.

If they're in college we're sending it to their parents. IMO dorm addresses change too often so they may never get the envelope in the first place. As for inviting the GF, that's kinda your call on how serious they are -- some college couples have been together for years, share an apartment together, etc. and others don't. I was already dating my fiancé when I was in college but his family didn't start inviting me to stuff until later.