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Dedicated July 2012

Cold feet or Not the right moment to get married?

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Stephanie, on March 11, 2011 at 4:01 PM

Posted in Planning 27

Hi, I need some opinions on this. My fiance and I have been engaged since August 2010. We were in a long distance relationship and since October have been moving to the same city. Since then all we did of our weekends were to go visit vendors or do things related to the wedding. We havent enjoyed our engagement at all and we've been fighting a lot. Now, it's been 2 weeks or more that we havent touched anything about the wedding because it disgust me to think about it and it just depress me. I just dont feel like getting married anymore. Is it normal to feel this way? Should we get married? or should we postpone it? We will have to pay a penalty of 4000$ if we cancel or postpone the wedding... that is why I am hesitant. Thank you for your inputs!

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27 Comments

Dedicated July 2012
Stephanie · on March 11, 2011 at 10:32 PM
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Ok , I will try the pre-marital counselling... where do we find that? at the church? is there anywhere else to do it?
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Super February 2017
<3 Future Mrs Wells <3 · on March 11, 2011 at 10:35 PM
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Make take some time for you and him and see if you still want him...The wedding planning thing is not for everyone, So you just need to figure out if it is the planning you dont want or the wedding...If it is the planning ask people for help even FH and remeber once it is over you get what you really want which is your FH
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VIP November 2011
Mrs. Hainsworth · on March 11, 2011 at 10:49 PM
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The cheapest and easiest place for counseling is your pastor or priest. Real therapists are very expensive and don't come about it from a Christian perspective but usually a psych one. We're going to our pastor.
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VIP November 2011
Mrs. Hainsworth · on March 11, 2011 at 10:49 PM
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The cheapest and easiest place for counseling is your pastor or priest. Real therapists are very expensive and don't come about it from a Christian perspective but usually a psych one. We're going to our pastor.
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Expert August 2011
TheFutureMrsLind · on March 11, 2011 at 10:57 PM
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No, this is not normal. It is normal to have a thought like that for maybe five minutes to an hour after a horrible fight, (which, as much as we all hate to admit it, happens.)
But for any sort of extended period of time, it's a problem for sure. And also, long distance relationships are hard, because you don't get to experience those little things that come with living together and being a married couple. My fiance and I have been lucky to be able to spend the majority of our relationship living together. However, when we've been apart for long periods of time, we lose touch with the day to day life of always being around each other. If you have been away from each other for a long time, or for the majority of your relationship, then it's likely you don't know each other well enough to take such a huge step as marriage. It sucks to realize that, but it's just the truth, ya know? And forget the money, you can't risk something as huge as MARRIAGE, over something as small as $.
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Expert August 2011
TheFutureMrsLind · on March 11, 2011 at 11:00 PM
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P.s. marriage should always feel right. Regardless of how angry you are at one another, you should still be madly in love. Because, in a marriage, you WILL have fights, difficult times, and doubts about your relationship, but they should NEVER EVER EVER make you feel as though you don't want to be with your husband (or wife.)
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