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Beginner November 2017

Coed bridal shower payment

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Amber, on March 24, 2017 at 4:38 PM

For starters this isn't about me. My finance is in one of our friend's wedding who is also in our upcoming wedding as well. They had a coed bridal/groom shower but he wasn't able to attend due to us living 8 hours away. He told the groom & bride we would not be able to attend. 2 weeks before the shower he was told he still had to put in for the cost of the shower. Well he didn't pay and now her brother has reached out to him looking for a repayment because him and his wife put up the money for those who could not attend that.To be honest I don't think he should have to pay because he wasn't able to attend and the fact that they gave them a price of $150-$200 to pay only 2 weeks before the shower did bother me as well. Last thing I want to do is bring it to the bride's attention simply because it's a week before their wedding. Idk if I'm being extra about the situation or what but if it was my party I wouldn't care. Just redo the total price for everyone who attends to pay equal

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VIP August 2013
MAMW · on March 24, 2017 at 7:33 PM
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That email looks like they planned the entire party assuming everyone would contribute but they never actually asked anyone if they could/would contribute nor how much everyone could afford. I wouldn't pay anything.
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Beginner November 2017
Amber · on March 24, 2017 at 7:36 PM
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I agree with all of you and yes I didn tell him he kind of messed up by not clarifying he was not contributing as well as paying. It is a mistake on both parts. This is what I told him to say

Break everything down.
"Sorry bro. But unfortunately I'm not going to be able to pay that money.it was very unclear and there was definitely a miscommunication. On you alls end because I was never asked if I was fine with a price. You assumed I could pay and that's not the case.i told brae at the beginning of the year I wasn't coming and she was cool with it. In my eyes coming meant not paying. This was before the email was sent out which I did not respond to. I'll take the blame of not being specific with you all in regards to not coming nor participating in a contribution to the shower. I had no part in that so I don't think I should have to pay. For one the email was sent out 1-2 weeks before the shower and I already talked with kory and let him know I was in the process of moving and had my own priorities to tend to. And still do. There is no RULE of what who has to pay for what. Yes it is preferred but not mandatory. At then end of the day the miscommunication falls on both of us but I'm clearing it up now by stating that I will not be paying for the shower that I did not attend nor plan nor had an opinion on.
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Expert October 2017
CoBoundAdv · on March 24, 2017 at 7:41 PM
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People make a lot of assumptions now days about rules of life and everything else. If he didn't agree to co host then he owes nothing.
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