Church Wedding Surprise Costs

They were being charged ($400) for everything because they thought that was high. We didn't know at the time how much so I just told them that we had budgeted $400 for everything. Which seem to make them feel better. I had done some research online back when I first got engaged that the average cost of a church donation was between $200 and $400 and depended on the size of the church. Our church is small. Around 40 people in the congregation and the church can hold around 150 people total. My best friend told me that she only paid $200 for her church which was about 3 times the size of ours. Is this normal? I'm not sure if it's because our old priest is coming back to marry us or not. Our current priest told us after we made all of the arrangements with them and sent out the save the dates that their niece was getting married the same day as us in Flordia and they wouldn't be able to perform the ceremony that they would ask our semi- retired previous priest to perform the wedding. This priest knows us well. Even married FH's brother last year. I kinda feel like I'm getting ripped off a bit. Are my feelings valid?

Hmmm... I'm not sure if you are getting ripped off BUT if it makes you feel better; we are paying $600 if we want to add music, which we will, it will be $325 extra. yikes

Churches have their own pricing. My dad's church is basically a $100 deposit and a gift to the pastor. My church is $500 to get married at the cross, $1000 to get married in the chapel. This does not include the gift to our pastor which is another $250-400. I'm told this money is for the coordinator, yet she does not set up chairs or put out any decorations. We are meeting her this morning. In my case though this is a set fee and they do have it in their weddinh packet.

My guess is that a bigger church which has more members can afford to offer a lower fee than a smaller church which may host fewer weddings.

Thanks everyone. I feel a bit better now. I just don't get that 3 different couples all getting married in the past 13 months were all quoted something different. Shouldn't there be a standard. FH spent all summer weeding the flower beds and taking care of the property on his own dime and just split the cost of purchasing mulch for the flower beds with another couple. I just replaced the headless statue out back because it had gotten damaged over the summer and I felt it was inappropriate to have a headless memorial statue. FH feels that we've already given enough treasure at this point with all that we do for the church. I think he's a bit taken by everything. He's insisting that we talk with the senior warden and accounting warden.....

The nice thing to do would be to offer you two specifically a discount since you're so involved and have been so generous with your time and efforts for the church. It's unfortunate, but maybe they really need the money for upkeep, it sounds like it even more so if they rely on volunteers so heavily. I would be peeved too but I think it's good to give the benefit of the doubt. If you get a lot from the church in terms of community and spiritual fulfillment then it's worth trying to keep a positive feeling towards them.

Those fees sounds normal to me. Did the couple who married in May use the same organist and priest? Maybe they booked the church earlier than you and avoided a recent price increase? I'm sure you know that the church has electricity, heating, maybe cooling bills, plus printing and marketing, probably more. You can make a donation of any size you choose, and if you can't afford to budget more now, give another donation after your wedding.

Ripped off? Really? No. $250 for a priest and $200 for an organist are very reasonable prices. In fact, they are inexpensive compared to hiring a freelance officiant and a musician. Perhaps you just aren't in touch with current pricing for weddings.

I'm paying $800 for use of the church. It's a set fee. It includes a pastoral fee (even though he isn't marring us- we still have to pay it), sound board operator, and wedding day coordinator.

Thank you everyone. I'm no longer upset about it. I'm glad to hear that they are normal if not inexpensive compared to others. It had just taken me by surprise because we had talked to our priest multiple times about it as well as the senior vestry members and it wasn't mentioned. I would have paid it regardless because it's only fair to pay for their services. I just would have liked to have known more than 2 weeks before the wedding. Thank you again for all of your comments. They really helped a lot. I can see that I was over reacting a bit now.

That seems like a good deal. We didn't have a church wedding but we paid $400 for our ceremony space, $150 for our DJ to wire up the ceremony/music, and $350 for the reverend.

My church in NYC costs $1200, but we are getting married in Mexico. The cost for that simple church in mexico is $500! We also have to pay a "suggested" donation of $250 to our church for preparing our documents (we are Catholic so there is a lot of paperwork).

Before getting together, we attended different churches. I was the DOC at my church and we charged $2,000 for members in good standing, $3,000 for non-members. The fee included, use of the fellowship hall for RD with staff, our musicians and soloists, set up, breakdown, air conditioning and 6 greeters. Our pastor's fee was separate and he required marital counseling with him. Eight one hour sessions at $50 each. Once we new we were serious about our relationship, I moved my membership to his (now our) church. Our church charges $4,000 for the same thing. The fee your church charges is a steal.

Our church has no usage fee for members, although most will give a donation to the pastor for his time commitment. We don't have an organist though.

Your church gets to decide how much they charge members and non members. I don't think what you are being quoted in unreasonable. At my church I believe I paid around 400 and then the organist, flower guild, and donation to the priest's fund was separate. My priest ended up waiving the alter guild fee and his donation. The organist still needs to be paid for their time. They might take into consideration how much you pledge. I'm not sure about that though.

You should ask for a written contract from your church. I know they're "your people" but at the end of the day, this is another vendor. Plain and simple. You want to avoid surprise costs and make sure everything that the church will do/provide is accounted for, so why wouldn't you insist on a contract and review it/negotiate ahead of time? Otherwise you run the risk of what's happening right now - surprise costs and half answers - continuing.

I think what you've been quoted seems fairly standard. Our church is costing us: $150 for the coordinator fee, $150 for marriage classes (mandatory), $350 for the organist, $150 for the cantor, and a recommended (required?) $500 "donation" (which we're hoping to write off on taxes lol).

Plus $275 for a violinist because we wanted one.

The pricing is quite fair, it's the way they deployed it that's suspect.

And as Joe said, get a contract.

I agree with @Celia Milton. The pricing doesn't seem unfair.

My FH and I have grown up in our church and the only thing we are paying for is the organist who we chose personally. And our church doesn't give a "suggested donation" either. Is it really a donation if it's suggested? You're already paying to get married in your home church which you're incredibly involved in. I think that is 'donation' enough.

Joe and Celia, that is a great suggestion. To be honest it never even occurred to me to even ask for one since it was our church. I wish I would have known a lot sooner to ask for a contract. Thank you for suggesting it! After reading everyone's comments I agree that the price seems fair now and admit that I was overreacting from the sudden surprise.