CHRISTIAN BRIDES: Should I lead worship at my ceremony?

I know this wasn't your question, but since so many have brought it up...if you want worship songs in your ceremony, it shouldn't matter if the guests are uncomfortable. The ceremony is for you and your FH, the reception is for the guests.

In terms of the logistics of YOU leading the singing, I'm imagining you and your bridesmaid moving in front of the ceremony space, leaving your groom in the back to sing along. That seems strange to me. If you and your FH were singing together, I'd have no problem with it, but the separation of you two in your wedding ceremony seems contradictory and ironic.

I second @Frugal_gator. That's why at our Catholic ceremony, we didn't do Eucharist, because DH couldn't take it. We didn't want to do anything separate during our ceremony.

Even if you know that 100% of your guests are going to love singing worship songs (which, how?) I agree that it's a little awkward for you to sing. I've been to weddings where they had someone else come up and sing a song (not a worship band, just a woman singing with recorded music) and it was really pretty. I like this idea of this happening during the unity ceremony, that's where I've seen live music done before.

@#FrugalGator- so you pretty much are saying the guests comfort aren't important.

okay then. Might as well make them stand for 3 hrs and then eat gluten free cookies for "dinner" Because it's what makes you happy.

"Because it's YOUR special day" is not a good enough excuse to just do whatever you want without consideration to your guests.

So much nope

I get what you are saying Nicole and frugal, and I normally agree. I've been to many weddings where things were done that seemed strange to me, but I didn't let it make me uncomfortable and I lived through it and still love the couples. But in this case, I think guests should be given some consideration, because she is planning to "lead them in worship", not just stand in front and sing.

Yeah I think the idea that she shouldn't do it because guests might be uncomfortable with worship music is silly. Worship music doesn't really upset people that much and if it does then I'd guess they'd be upset enough by a religious ceremony to not attend. We all suffer through awkward customs at other people's weddings because we love them.

I think the discomfort would come more from the bride climbing up front in her big dress for an impromptu jam session with the bridal party that, while nice in a church setting, doesn't seem to really have a place in the wedding ceremony.

Edit: Leading people in worship at a wedding is the same as leading people in prayer or leading people in vows for the couple or whatever other custom you decide to include. Anyone who doesn't want to participate doesn't have to.

Guests being uncomfortable with worship music? No. But guests being uncomfortable being LEAD to SING worship music? I think it deserves a pause for consideration.

@JoRocka I get what you're saying, guest comfort is important. But I think it's important for the couple to not lose sight of the things that are important to them as well. You can't please everyone.

@JoRocka, that was a major exaggeration of what I said. I never said or implied that guests are not important. Having worship at her ceremony is unlikely to cause any physical or mental distress to any of the guests; whereas making them stand for 3 hours definitely could. The ceremony (not the reception) is about the bride and groom; the ceremony should reflect who they are, and in this case, worship is important to them. The reception is all about the guests, so providing only cookies during dinner time would be a horrible "thank you" for coming to your wedding.

OP, in this instance, I'm going to say something I never say... You do you.

However, you originally planned for love musicians, so it sounds like that's what you truly want. You still have time to find new singers, so don't give up yet on your original plans.

The reception is for the guests, the ceremony is for the couple. Guests comfort is to be considered to an extent but you don't have to censure the spiritual/religious aspect of your ceremony because some guests might not like it. By all means have a worship song, guests do not have to sing if they don't want to. Whether you should sing it.... yeah I don't know have a strong opinion on that.

I've been to weddings where we have done and it's wonderful. I would suggest that your bridesmaids or friends lead it and not you.

SimpleSeamstress said it way better than I did.

If it's OK for Catholics to have liturgy where people have to sit and stand, sing the responsorial psalm and gospel acclamation, and say the Lord's prayer, then I think it's ok to have someone lead worship for 1-2 songs. "Leading worship" usually entails an invitation to stand and sing. People who don't sing just stand there. About 80% of my guests were not Catholic and many had never experienced liturgy of any kind. I tried to give as much information as possible in the program, and if I did it again, I probably would have printed out a larger sheet for non-Catholics to look at to understand what the heck was going on. I think if OP takes the time to tell her guests what is coming, it will be very minimally uncomfortable for people. I've been to wedding ceremonies with worship and, especially when nearly every guest is a Christian, they are very intimate and unifying.

I do think this would be odd. But if it's important to you then do it, but I would only do one song and I would have the pastor lead.

I agree with Nicole. I had a full liturgical ceremony (about 1 hour, Episcopalian) with the Eucharist. I had two songs performed by a musician during. I gave my guests a heads up on the website what the ceremony would be like and I wrote instructions about the Eucharist informing guests that they could stay in their pews if they weren't partaking. I painstakingly created bilingual programs to help my guests know what was going on and what to say if they wanted to participate. Initially I was worried that my non-Christian guests would be uncomfortable but I just let all those fears go during the service and savored each part because the ceremony was more important to me than the reception and I wanted to remember it.

I think where I am getting hung up is not necessarily the songs, the worship or the audience participation (whether they do or not). I think IMHO that it would flow a little better if the bride and groom didn't outwardly lead in this. But again, it is the B&G's wedding and you do what works for you. I like the idea of maybe placing it within the unity part? I just feel like it needs to be placed a certain way and time for it to flow better.

Keep in mind though, you did ask for opinions and WW is not afraid to share them

To answer your question maybe you shouldn't lead it. I think it might just be too much pressure. The morning of your wedding might be total chaos. It'll probably be nice to use that time to reflect and pray. Not worry about a performance.

If there is one person more important than the bride and groom it is the God who created marriage and God who brought you together. Even if not everyone believes in God, you do (and i bet He's the most important guest to you ) Marriage is designed to reflect Christ love and relationship with us. How glorious that we get to experience a piece of that through marriage with another person. I've been thinking about leading worship for my wedding too but wasn't sure if it would be weird, but if leading worship is on your heart and would mean a lot to then you do it! it's your wedding, your marriage, and your life with Christ. As long as your husband agrees I think it will be beautiful.