Choosing Final Bridesmaid

Your bridesmaids (and his groomsmen in his case) should only be the current closest innermost social circle of supportive people. Do not ever ask anyone out of guilt or obligation if you have no close relationship with them. That is too important of a role to give to random people, including in-laws. It’s better to have fewer people standing up with you and uneven numbers of people closest to you than adding people just because who don’t support or care about you.

This is really just going to have to be up to you. There's definitely the option for you to just leave the sides uneven so you're not searching for someone who may end up feeling like the backup option (I've felt that way before).

I've seen a ton of people on here say that if you don't talk to a person almost daily then they're not close enough to you to be considered a bridesmaid. I don't talk to anyone other than my fiancé and my coworkers on a daily basis and all of my bridesmaids are out of that category. I have a couple of newer friends but also have my longest friend who I honestly maybe talk to three times a year. I still consider her to be very important in my life though. She was super excited to be asked and happily accepted - and so far we've talked about the same amount as normal because I haven't needed to bother anyone with wedding stuff yet.

If you don't mind the fact that even if you ask your long time friend and they accept, that doesn't mean they're suddenly going to become super close and speak to you more often. Obviously the minimum is just following up with wedding stuff, but you don't want to set expectations that asking her will bring you closer again or change the relationship in any way. If you're looking for someone who will probably be around more frequently and be available to talk things through with and maybe want to help if she offers, then ask your current friend.

I wouldn’t do either. If it wasn’t one of your first picks just have uneven sides.

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This is my feeling as well. You won't regret not adding one of these 2nd tier choices, but you might end up regretting adding them.

I would go with neither, and just have uneven sides. My husband had 4 groomsmen and I had 3 bridesmaids. There were others I could’ve asked to even the sides, but it wouldn’t have left my bridal party quite right— my 3 were my oldest and dearest best friends, I feel like anyone else would’ve just felt like an after thought.

You may be surprised at what asking either woman will do to your friendship(s). I had two friends that I really wanted to ask to be bridesmaids, but I honestly wasn't sure either would say yes. One had only just moved back and had also had a baby, so I wasn't sure she'd be up for it. The other was a fairly newer friend from my book club, but I knew I would regret not asking her. I asked both of them, and in the end, it was the best thing I could have done for both friendships. It made me closer to both of them, and the two of them got to be friends as well. They were both so helpful in my wedding, especially after we had to postpone. Now I'm in the camp of people who are driven crazy by uneven bridal parties, so I'm probably in the minority. I'm not going to choose which friend for you. I'm just suggesting you not dismiss either one just yet.

You should only ask people to be in your wedding who you absolutely can't imagine not being by your side on your big day. Sides do not need to be even - your FH can have more groomsmen than you have bridesmaids.

We originally planned for me to have just one bridesmaid - my MOH - and my husband to have four groomsmen. We ended with me having no bridesmaids and him with three groomsmen. It was fine!

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I agree with this wholeheartedly. Minus being driven crazy by uneven sides - uneven sides are totally okay but so would asking either one of these friends if you really want.

You haven't given much too go on as to which friend is the better choice. So I'll just say that I'd catch up with college friend before deciding if you want to ask her. As for the new friend, unless it's an extremely new friendship (that maybe isn't ready for that level of commitment), it's totally okay to ask someone you befriended as an adult. Especially if the only thing holding you back was limiting the numbers to match his or the idea that you needed a particularly lengthy friendship in order to ask.

One more vote for uneven sides are OK. What will happen if someone drops out? Are you going to start replacing people to keep sides even?