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Beginner October 2020

Choosing Bridesmaids

Future Mrs T, on May 20, 2019 at 6:43 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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So I recently got engaged and now I have a bit of a dilemma. My FI will be having 5-6 groomsmen while I only have 3 mandatory BM (godsisters and SIL). I have a friend that I have known for around 9 years (but stopped talking because of something dumb- no argument or anything though) and we are just getting back to talking a bit more a couple of months ago. I also have a friend that I have known for about 3 years and we were super close but just lost contact when I moved but have been talking a lot more recently since I plan on moving back. I also have a cousin that I basically grew up with as my "big sister" however I am not too big on picking her but my mom insists that I should since she's family and we were really close growing up.

So what should I do??? I don't have close friends (a bit anti-social) but they (the first 2) are the closest things I have to friends that are not family.

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Clíodhna, on May 22, 2019 at 8:01 AM

Master October 2020
Mandi · on May 20, 2019 at 7:05 PM
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Have 3 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen.
I only picked people who I know will be a part of my life in 10-20 years.
In the future, I dont want to look back at my wedding photos and see strangers.
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Beginner October 2020
Future Mrs T · on May 20, 2019 at 7:36 PM
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Well one I have known for 9 years so it's tough to not include here (even though we didn't speak much for a year ish). But I completely understand.
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Devoted October 2020
Mrs. Ariza · on May 20, 2019 at 10:06 PM
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I as well dont have any super close friends. My FH has 7 groomsmen, I have 6. Within the 6 is my 10 yr old stepdaughter, my daughters godmother, my sister and 3 friends Ive known for over 10 yrs. i dont speak to them on a daily basis but still chose them to be a part of it bc thats what I want. You dont have to feel obligated to only pick family.
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Devoted September 2019
Sara · on May 21, 2019 at 1:28 PM
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I would say, only have in your party who you want to have in your party. Don't feel like you need to 'fill ranks' to catch up with the groom's party. I'm having my two best friends (one woman, one man) and that's it. My FH knows he can have as many people as he wants and we'll figure out the processional.
Who will make your big day feel even more delightful by getting ready with you and standing by your side? That's who should be in your party.
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Dedicated September 2019
Kelsey · on May 21, 2019 at 4:45 PM
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This. My first wedding was uneven - I had both sisters with me and the groom had only his brother. Trying to make things even will only stress you out. What if you come up with 5 bridesmaids just to keep it even, but then one of the groomsmen can't make it? Then it's uneven again, and your fiance will be stuck trying to find another one (because once you've asked the girls, it would be very very rude to unask them). It's not worth the headache. Choose who you want to have with you and leave it at that.
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
Clíodhna · on May 22, 2019 at 8:01 AM
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Hi there
Welcome to the WeddingWire community!
I would echo the advice of the pps and advise you only choose people that you want in your bridal party, as opposed to asking people to make up 5 - 6 to match the groomsmen. There is nothing wrong with an uneven bridal party if you're ok with it!
Check out this helpful article from the WeddingWire ideas section on picking bridesmaids, I hope you will find it insightful - How to Pick Bridesmaids
Would you rather have 5 bridesmaids?
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