Amers
Savvy February 2020

Children leave reception by a certain time?

Amers, on September 27, 2019 at 12:55 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 47
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Hello! I'm looking for some help on wedding invitation wording. My fiancé and I aren't really wanting a ton of small children at our wedding, but my dad is paying for the meal and is insisting that there will be kids. So we are compromising. I'm inviting first cousins and VERY close family friends' children, but would like the children to leave by 9. Has anyone else done this? How do you politely word it? Thanks!

47 Comments

  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    That's kind of hard to word to be honest just because it's a little odd. i don't know if that's something i'd write on invites. maybe it's something you can talk to those parents about directly.

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  • Sarah
    VIP September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I don’t know how you could do this without making parents leave too and offending people. I’d honestly just decline a wedding if I was told I’d need to leave early because of my child. What’s the point of inviting children if you’re going to turn around and kick them out of your event?
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    I think it's pretty rude to say "you can come but must leave by X time". Why does it matter if kids stay past 9? We had a 10 year old, and five kids under 3 stay until 11 PM. People got plenty drunk, did tons of dancing, and had a great time.

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  • M
    Dedicated October 2019
    M ·
    • Flag
    We only have 3 younger kids. 2 are 10 and can make it the whole night. The 3rd is 5 and he’s our ring bearer and our friends son. His grandparents will attend ceremony and reception but they will leave when he gets tired. I don’t see how you can do this without an adult having to leave early too. Or do you expect parents to pay babysitters to pick their kids up?
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  • Alyssa
    Expert June 2020
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag

    We will have one token kid (FH's daughter) otherwise our wedding will be completely kid-free. We are likely going to use a babysitting service recommended by the wedding planner so that none of the grandparents have to leave early if they don't want to, because she is out of there by 845-she's 6 and cannot be up late.

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  • N
    Dedicated November 2019
    Nita ·
    • Flag
    I agree with pps. I don’t think there’s a way to do this without being rude. I’m also not sure it’s actually going to be an issue. We also only invited our cousins kids. They are all taking one of the following options:
    1.) not bringing their kids even though they are invited
    2.) arranging other childcare options for the kids to leave early when they get tired

    Most parents that I know wouldn’t want to keep their kids up all night way past their bedtime anyways. That typically leads to the kids being a mess the next day too. I would let the parents handle this on their own.
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  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
    • Flag

    My son is an adult now but we brought him to weddings and it was never an issue. If he got tired, we just left. I can't imagine how you would put this to parents in a way that wouldn't come off as rude. Either children are welcome or they are not. It is ok to have a kid free wedding, but not ok to give grown adults a curfew because they have children. They are fully capable of handling that on their own.

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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    Agreed 100%.

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  • Futuremrsm
    Devoted October 2020
    Futuremrsm ·
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    I would say either let them stay the whole time or dont invite kids at all.
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  • Teresa
    Dedicated April 2020
    Teresa ·
    • Flag
    I dont know about this one. I would say just let the children stay. I would personally leave with my child if I was invited this way. In my opinion either you invited them or you dont
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    Asking children to leave by 9pm is also asking their parents to leave by 9pm. There no polite way to word an impolite request. Personally, I’d just trust my guests. I’ve been to many weddings with kids and parents and the parents who were concerned with their kids needing to get to bed made arrangements to take care of that...but all on their own.
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  • Aja
    Savvy January 2020
    Aja ·
    • Flag

    I don't really see how this can be done without the parents leaving as well. Maybe a better idea would be providing some sort of separate entertainment for the little ones? One venue we looked at had another room attached with a t.v. and stuff so the kids could watch movies and play together.

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  • BrePybus
    Savvy May 2020
    BrePybus ·
    • Flag

    I am personally all for a no-kids wedding, but I have to agree if you are having kids there you can't ask them to leave early. I think it's an all or nothing situation. Maybe set up a station with games or something to keep them occupied if you're worried.

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  • Allaura
    Devoted April 2021
    Allaura ·
    • Flag
    Yea I agree with everyone else there isn’t like a nice way to put this. Since I’m having kids at my wedding we plan on using one of the hotel rooms as a kids room where they can all go when they get tired. It will have a slumber party type vibe and there will be a sitter or someone to supervise them. If you don’t want kids at your wedding though you should just say it’s an adult only event. I don’t think this is a situation where you can compromise.
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  • J
    Super April 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    Yeah I agree with PPs, there is no way you can word this without offending the parents. If the kids are already there, you shouldn't restrict the time they're allowed to be there, since they are invited guests to the reception. If you don't want kids there, it is totally fine (mine is kid free!), but you need to discuss your reasoning with your dad asap! If you try to do this on your invites, you will cause a ton of drama and give yourself a huge headache! Good luck! Smiley smile

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    I agree with PPs, what you’re asking for is rude. You can’t welcome someone to your wedding, but tell them that they have to leave early. Either allow children for the entire event or not at all.
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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
    • Flag

    Honestly most parents with young children won't stay too late anyways. If you put in a time they have to leave though they won't come. I wouldn't. I also would know that my kid was getting tired and leave on my own but it is pretty rude to say you can bring your kid but we are kicking you out by 9

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag

    I agree with PPs, that is rude. This did happen at a wedding we went to though, but it wasn't the couple's choice. The casino that the reception was at, had a policy that kids had to leave the reception area by 9. Most with kids, had one spouse stay at the party and the other was in the hotel room with their kids. It was super awkward and rude, because at 9 a parent was saying goodbye to the bride and groom; a member of the hotel staff came over and told them the policy when they knew but were simply saying goodbye.

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  • Tessa
    Devoted November 2019
    Tessa ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I also agree! Any parent will know when its time to leave and this will just happen naturally. No need to write it up in the invitation or tell people directly. My siblings all have kiddos and I told them verbally, "they have to be there for the ceremony and reception, but if you want to get a sitter afterwards so you can join the after party that would be fine". That way they know the little ones needs to be in attendance but they can arrange for a late night sitter IF they please (we are paying for our own wedding, but similar to your dad's request, our folks would not be ok without our nieces and nephews in attendance). I've also attended weddings where the bride and groom hired a sitter to watch kids while the parents were there to help them feel at ease and let them truly enjoy the party. That is also an option if you're afraid the parents won't be getting their celebration on with you guys if they are also watching their kids.

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry, but this sounds rather rude to me. Telling people their kids need to leave by a certain time is kinda offensive

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