Chatting with other women?

What do you mean by “chatting”? Like just talking as friends? If so I don’t see how that’s causing your marriage to be unprotected

He’s not protecting your marriage and giving himself temptation by speaking to women? Does he not have any female co-workers? My FH works with 75% women in his job, including the person he reports to. He speaks to women all day long. Unless the conversations are inappropriate, I see nothing wrong with this.

I personally haven't dealt with this. FH doesn't play games so he isn't in that situation and FH works in HVAC so he is surrounded by men all day for the most part lol so I can't really give my experience but I think you have a right to feel however you feel. With that said, has he said or done anything that is making you feel uneasy or are you just uncomfortable about what could happen? I think if he hasn't done anything wrong then you should try not to worry about it and just trust him. I can understand why any girl may feel a little weird about their SO talking to girls on a game because we all hear the stories about what could or has happened to other people, but I think a lot of times it really is just about the game and nothing to worry about. If he hasn't given you any reason to be suspicious, try not to worry about it too much.

He mainly works with other men. But yes, he says talking as friends.

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If they're just talking as friends and he hasn't given you any reason to question his intentions then I wouldn't worry!

If u have a problem with what hes doing on the game, play with him. Try being interested in what hes interested in and u wont feel so uneasy if nothing is really going on.

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I guess my fear is what could happen. I have a bad habit of over thinking everything.

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Totally understandable. I think you should just talk to him about it. I would let him know how you are feeling and that it makes you a little uneasy or uncomfortable. Even if he isn't doing anything wrong, if it makes you uncomfortable maybe he can talk to guys on the game instead. Have you told him it bothers you before?

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I would but I'm really not a gamer. I've tried numerous times to get into games, its just not my thing.

View Quoted Comment Has he given you reason not to trust that he’s being honest about that? Is he very secretive about the messages or something like that?

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I have told him, and he does talk to guys as well. He's just so use to talking to whomever and he says he doesn't see gender, but I don't know how he couldn't

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It sounds like it really isn't a big deal and he just talks to whoever about the game. I really wouldn't worry about it.

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He told me at one point he was only going to give his number out to this one guy, then one morning he had a girl's number he was texting. He said he was trying to help her with the game, but the chat on there doesn't allow to send pictures of the chats she needed him to see. FH also has her fiancé on his xbox chat as well. He doesn't understand why him not telling me about it upset me.

View Quoted Comment This isn’t overthinking, this is being untrusting. Nothing would happen if a woman started hitting on my husband. He’d say “oh, sorry— I’m married” He might feel a little awkward about it all but would move on. He’s a trustworthy faithful man.

Its hard to see the basis for the feeling as an outside, but basically: either he is untrustworthy (which needs addressing on his end) OR he is trustworthy and you are untrusting (which needs addressing on your end)
But generally , every day interaction with women should not be cause for concern. My husband isn’t a big video game person, but he does have plenty of interests apart from mine and female friends within those hobbies. There is nothing inherently suspect about it.

My FH plays PUBG. I wouldn't call him a gamer by any means. I have never thought about who he talks to on there. I can see how you wouldn't be happy that he is taking the game off the gaming console and now to texting. I think your best bet is to be open with him. Tell him that you're weary of him chatting via text with game people. He probably is just into the game. Ugh video games.

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Yes, I admit I'm insecure and am working on my trust issues. I can see your point

To me, it really depends on a couple things:

1) Was he like purposely trying to hide the fact that he was chatting with women? Like being shady about it? That would be a red flag for me.

2) What's the content of the chats? Are they just typical friendly gaming-type stuff? Or is there serious flirting or something else going on?

To me, I see nothing wrong with simply game/friendly chatting with the opposite gender, and I'm not sure how that's not protecting your marriage or giving temptation. Chatting/socializing is a HUGE part of the gaming world, and as long as the content is above-board, I just don't see why this would be problem at all. Now, if he was being shady about the fact that he chats with women, or the content is shady, then I can see there being a problem.

It sounds like you're overthinking an issue that doesn't actually exist right now.

I personally have not had to deal with this because my FH is a firefighter and is mostly around men, he also doesn't play any games. However, I would maybe talk to him about this. I guess in my opinion, it just depend to what capacity he is talking to these females. Of course if my FH was flirting or talking in a way that was inappropriate, I would have an issue but if he is just having conversation about the game than I wouldn't see it as an issue. I work with almost all men and my FH would never think twice about me talking to them while at work, as a matter of fact a handful are on our guest list. It's really to each to own in this situation but I would talk it out if it is a concern.

It wouldn't bother me. I have guy friends and FH has good female friends. He also chats with people via games but its nothing romantic and its a shared interest with other people. Do you have co-ed friend groups or hobbies separate from your FH?

My best advice is continue working on those insecurity issues you mentioned, which I know is really hard work! A therapist can help

I truly don’t think you have anything to worry about. Trust your FH and not the intentions of those around him. Though I think they are just trying to play a game, I don’t think it’s very nefarious.