Change in plans

That's the down side of destination weddings. You basically just have to tell people "if you can't come, that's OK, just let me know." and stick to your guns because it's your wedding, but you'll have to be OK with people not coming. If people are being rude just tell them come or don't, but stop harassing me about it.

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I agree with this. It's your wedding! As long as you're fine with a smaller turnout, stick with Hawaii!

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately it’s very close family that we want there that are complaining :/ and having the wedding without them isn’t what we want.

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Oh okay! I think changing the location would be best then. Better now than later!

Maybe do the ceremony locally and honeymoon in HI? It's very expensive to go there and stay there so while they may be complaining I can see why they may be doing it. We had our wedding in Vegas which was a DW but it's affordable to get there and stay there. Maybe see what their budgets are for travel and feel out other options if DW is still your end game.

We are getting married in my FH hometown, his family is there and some of them can’t travel... so literally my entire family will have to travel, and they’re not to happy about it.. but oh well! I want them there, but if they aren’t understanding and try to make me feel bad, then I would rather they not come anyways

View Quoted Comment Have YOUR day the way that you envisioned it and make sure that it is b of the best days of your life together.

I say this because I have people that won’t even drive 45 minutes to come to mine.

Your family will either attend or not.

You can use Facetime or Facebook live for those that can’t attend.

We’re also doing a destination wedding, and even though it’s not as far as Hawai’i, it is still not in town. This always will have people complaining. I honestly don’t care, but I can understand why it would bother others. Flying to Hawaii is not as expensive as it was, and with Southwest now flying out there you can usually find reasonably priced flights. While you can absolutely change the location of your wedding pretty much up until you send out the invites, you should really figure out what you want. If marrying in Hawaii is the perfect location for you and your fiancé, I would continue with your plans. You will never make everyone happy, and changing locations to a local venue will only make them complain about something else. Don’t get bullied about your own wedding. Good luck!

We considered a DW and decided we'd have to pay for about 6 people if we did. So, we did not go that route. We are spending a lot on the honeymoon instead 😂.

Traveling and staying in Hawaii is expensive. My husband and I have gone 3 years in a row (just got back last week from our most recent trip). When you plan a DW you have to expect that most people can't afford to come. That is why most couples do it - to limit their guest list. But if these people are ones you really want at your wedding, then you may be forced to pay for them or change your location so it is more affordable for them. So, to answer your question if it is wrong to change your location mid-planning, in your case, no. Sounds like it will help solve your problems. Get married locally and have your honeymoon in Hawaii.

Airfare and accommodations (not to mention rental cars and food) in Hawaii are legitimately expensive and out of reach for many people. Those are reasonable concerns for your nearest and dearest. While it's true that it's your wedding and you can choose to have it wherever you want, you have to decide if the location is more important than the attendees.

I think having a local ceremony and reception and Hawaiian honeymoon sounds lovely!

Unfortunately, like previous commenters stated, this is the problem with destination weddings. We are doing stateside destination wedding and so many people have declined because of the inconvenience of traveling. It happens unfortunately. If they are important they will be there and if its important for them to be there and they can't make it and that will bother you, then you may need to opt for a different direction

I'm having a stay at home wedding... and I'm regretting not just going to get papers signed and throwing an informal party later.

I think allowing other people so much input and pressure on your wedding is just super stressful and completely normal to feel the way you do.

Do what you want to do. In the end, this is YOUR wedding, and these will be your memories.

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If having the wedding without them isn't what you want, it's okay to change your mind. I don't think anyone will think less of you because of it. On the contrary, I imagine your guests will be grateful you're accommodating them in such a meaningful way. At the end of the day, it's yours and your FS's day, so make it what you want. If you want Hawaii then go ahead. But if you want your family there above all else, go ahead and stick closer to home.

I would say do what you want.. but alas.. i dealt with this and did change my location.. its not the same as a destination wedding to a closer to home one.. but i first wanted to do a small back yard wedding on my grandmother / grandfathers property.. well my aunt and grandmother were not behind it they thought it would just be to much work and they made their opinion clear.. I found a venue that i wouldnt change for the world.. but all ill say is do want makes you happy but also take a look around at other venues and see what you find.. maybe youll find something and can do a honeymoon / read your vows to your husband in hawaii. Just an Idea though Good Luck!

Getting married in Hawaii is my dream but since some family definitely couldn't afford to come, and we can't afford to pay for everyone, we are planning a dream wedding in our area. You could always just honeymoon in Hawaii... I can imagine how disappointing it is to have people push back. Could you change your date so people have more time to save?

We've done the same exact thing. No one complained about finances though. At least not to our face. We were also planning for Hawaii (luckily didn't pay for anything yet) but then thought about my uncle in a wheelchair on top of all of that so we changed it to Fresno. After we made the deposit (partial), I figured it would still be kind of hard/far and Fresno isn't a really active city so I wouldn't want our guests to be bored.

My heart wasn't in it anymore so now for the FINAL change, we will be making our deposit on a new venue hopefully today! Friends and family love it and the city is extremely family oriented with plenty of things to do and places to go (with or without kids). It was a long road coming but we're happy and that's all that matters. No matter how hard or pushed back things get, I know everything will work out for you in the end.

Yes, but I did to a destination wedding. Don’t sacrifice on what you want! If it matters more to have those people there, have it at home. If you’re set on Hawaii do Hawaii! They can always see a video....I’ve had a lot of pushback from people being upset that they aren’t going to our wedding (it’s just parents, siblings, and grandparents and 2 best friends) we have who was important to us after our guest list reached 250 at home. Don’t settle! We get married in 2 months and I know in my heart we will not regret it and it will be our dream wedding! This is YOUR wedding! Don’t forget that!

I say do what YOU want for YOUR wedding. This is YOUR wedding, not theirs. That’s the downside of having a destination wedding...fewer more people will likely be able to not attend. Mine is kind of a destination wedding - only 4 hours away from home and I’m getting the same feedback too. Just sucks because I’ve already got suckered into my wedding venue and I thought to myself if people can’t make it then I’m not going to let it get to me. The people who will make it to your wedding are the ones that care about you and will do everything they can to make the arrangements work

Thank you everyone for your responses!! Definitely made me feel much better about changing the location! I just informed my bridesmaids and they were so appreciative that I decided to have it closer so people don’t have to spend so much money! I just now have to figure out how to inform all the others that received our Hawaii save the dates haha