Ceremony

Then they shouldn’t be your bridesmaids...

Shelby, it’s going to be tough and awkward no matter what. And I agree that if they have already spent money you should reimburse them. You should also tell them ASAP.

I get why people are saying “Well you shouldn’t have asked them in the first place.” It doesn’t matter. It’s done. You made a mistake. I think it’s best to address it and move on rather than to continue to make the mistake.

I’m 47 and about to be married for the first time. But I can tell you most every one of my friends and coworkers have wedding photos with girls they haven’t spoken to in twenty years. They had sorority sisters and coworkers and thought they needed a big bridal party and these were the ten best friends they had. Ugh. My mom told me in junior high (when girls start to get mean) that you will only have a handful of true friends in your life and she was right.

congrats to you for figuring out now that these ladies are work friends, not life long friends. And that’s okay-people come into our life for different reasons and different seasons. But if you’re just stressing and you don’t feel close with them, you’re doing the right thing and ending it now. it’s like finding out your fiancé cheated a week before the wedding and saying Well we already spent all this money and people paid for plane tickets...I guess we’re getting married.

Just tell them you didn’t realize planning a wedding was so complicated and you have decided to scale things back. Let them know you still want them to share your day as a guest. And hey, if they are already distant maybe they will be relieved as they are already feeling awkward. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment If they are just co-workers then im sure in a nice polite way you can tell them plans have changed and although you want them to spend with you on your special day you have decided that you are downsizing your wedding party to just your sisters! Good luck 🍀

I think people always get SO negative when a topic like this comes up. I really and truly do not understand it. I asked only one girl to be my Matron of Honor, my best friend. No bridesmaids, none of that. I told my MoH that I didn't want anyone standing up there with me, just my fiancé and I. But I still wanted her support in every way possible. She gladly accepted and never once gave me grief or felt any type of way about standing up there with me.

I don't feel like we should be afraid of hurting other people's feelings. Be kind, always - sure, but there's no need to literally end a friendship over not standing next to someone (as opposed to sitting and staring at someone) on their wedding day. No one should ever take out their hurt feelings on you over your details on your wedding day. Just politely explain the situation, they are still invited after all, so there should be no hurt feelings.

Don't let anyone, or anything, ruin your day. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to marry your best friend - nothing, and I mean nothing, should weigh that down.