Ceremony

Just tell them.

I don’t think there’s any way to politely tell them that. If you didn’t want them standing next to you, you shouldn’t have asked them to be bridesmaids. I think having the wedding party sit is fine, but it should be an all or nothing thing.

Honesty is your best bet, but be prepared to potentially hurt their feelings

I can imagine they are going to be upset if they have already spent money for dresses and shoes. But you need to be honest and just tell them.

I’m following this thread because I have thought about the same lol

I mean guess u just gotta let them down easy it is ur day 🤷‍♀️😊 GOOD LUCK!

You have to tell them they’re no longer bridesmaids. If they’re not with you at the ceremony, they aren’t actually bridesmaids. If they’ve bought dresses and whatnot already, you should pay them back for the expenses. While you can change your mind about this, just be prepared for them to be upset or angry about it. It’s much easier for us to be understanding on a discussion board than being told by our friend we’ve been demoted.

We had a small wedding with a large wedding party. My bridesmaids walked down the aisle and then sat in the front row as they approached the alter. My husband’s groomsmen walked in with him and then each sat across the aisle in the front row as each bridesmaid sat. Only the maid of honor and best man remained standing.

My bridesmaids were thrilled to not have to stand in their heels and still felt honored and special. It sort of came out during the bachelorette party and then was detailed during the rehearsal. No one was offended at all.

Shelby I think you should be honest & tell them . If they are your real friends they will understand ! Good luck 😇

As long as they haven’t spent money on stuff yet, they’re still going to be hurt.

I’m assuming you mean you want your sisters to be your bridesmaids? I’ve been ousted as a bridesmaid at the last minute (literally an hour before the wedding) while simultaneously thrown into the role of day -of coordinator. It was very disheartening to be tossed aside like that so my advice would be to be as upfront ASAP. If they’ve already bought their dresses you wanted them to buy, you should work something out in that regard.

Don’t have any bridesmaids lol

View Quoted Comment I agree, that’s the main role they share in the wedding

Well my “bridesmaids” and i havent been ln the same page. We don't really talk much anymore or hang oit anymore , but they are also my coworkers(i have another post about this)

View Quoted Comment Agreed. Why did you make them BMs if you didnt want them to stand with you. That's the entire point of a bridal party...

View Quoted Comment Like i said because we are not close anymore , tho they are my coworkers, we no longer talk outside of work anymore, nor do we hang out like we use to. I feel like they constantly bring me down with all the little comments they have to say. I still want them at my wedding but as far as support , they have not been there for me at all lately so why have them stand by me on my wedding? Id rather have my sisters because family is forever. Things change over time.

Maybe the bridesmaids standing up with the Bride and Groom is an American thing... I'm British and out of all the weddings I've ever been to and been a part of, nobody stands up there except the Bride and Groom. The bridesmaids walk down the aisle as part of the procession and sit on the front row. Sometimes the parents sit to the side of the alter, or also on the front row. The bridesmaids still do all of the other usual bridesmaid things. I certainly won't make mine stand up for a 20 minute ceremony craning their necks to watch my FH and I exchange vows. I want them to actually see what's going on. I guess what I'm saying is, think about why you asked your BMs to be BMs in the first place, and think about their roles in the wedding. It doesn't all boil down to whether they are standing or sitting - surely. I don't think that if they sit, they are no longer BMs, unless of course, you don't want them to be BMs, which is fine and up to you (although tell them ASAP). It's OK to do things a little differently. It's OK to want people to be comfortable, too. But, if they're your BMs, they have to be doing at least some traditional BMs stuff at some point.

I don’t understand why you would ask them to be your bridesmaids if you didn’t want them up there with you?

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This is how mine is too, and all our friends are completely happy with it! it's just about knowing your group, I think. ours have known since day 1 though.

View Quoted Comment Not gunna answer the question again. For the 3rd time we are not close anymore like we use to be , there for i no longer want them standing by me.