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Just Said Yes August 2017

Ceremony, who to invite?!

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Mirba, on June 5, 2017 at 10:23 PM

Hello! I'm having a hard time finalizing my decision about keeping the ceremony limited to family only. My outdoor ceremony is at the same location as the indoor reception. The ceremony area accommodates up to 120 guests seated, the reception up to 150. We are inviting 150. At first we wanted a small group for the ceremony but the "family only" rule has us at 87 ceremony attendees. I am much closer to good friends than say a distant uncle so I've been on the fence on this rule. I thought about maybe having a standing room at the back, is that not acceptable? Sigh. I love the venue and it is booked so there is no turning back. Thanks for any advice.

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26 Comments

Master April 2017
Anne · on June 6, 2017 at 11:51 AM
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Your aunts can't dictate who you invite to the ceremony... if you want to keep that venue, you need to invite parents/siblings/grandparents ONLY to the ceremony and then you can have the reception with all 150 guests. OR you need to rent benches so that all 150 guests can attend both. There is no in between option that isn't rude to some of your guests.
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Master November 2017
Vicki · on June 6, 2017 at 5:40 PM
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Private, intimate immediate family only ceremonies are fine. 87 is not private or intimate, and it's not immediate family either (OP mentioned aunts and uncles).
Having two different guest lists, one for ceremony and one for reception is absolutely rude (unless it's the above mentioned exception which OP has already clarified and it doesn't apply).
It's also rude to not have a seat for every guest. I'm sorry but this was poorly planned.
Find a different ceremony venue or hope and pray the venue as some additional seating options.
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Super September 2017
Jenny · on June 6, 2017 at 5:42 PM
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87 people is not intimate so yes, revisit the 87 guestlist.
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Master July 2017
lyla · on June 6, 2017 at 6:05 PM
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Ideally you could cut the ceremony to immediate family (10-20 people). Literally just have it be your parents, siblings, and that's it. No cousins, uncles and aunts, etc.

A standing ceremony isn't ideal, but IMO it's better than a tiered reception. If you have to choose one or the other, go with the standing ceremony.
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Just Said Yes July 2021
Sandy · on December 16, 2020 at 3:27 PM
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Omg this was one of my questions! So glad to be able to see these responses.
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Just Said Yes August 2017
Mirba · on December 16, 2020 at 7:45 PM
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The conclusion was, we were able to fit benches at the ceremony and accommodate all guests at both ceremony and reception.
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