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Lau’Ren
Dedicated August 2020

Ceremony 3 days prior to reception?? Help!

Lau’Ren, on January 11, 2020 at 7:25 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 7

I’m gonna start this by saying I totally messed up when I started wedding planning. I initially wanted to go the justice of peace since we aren’t religious at all but then decided I wanted a more beautiful scenery. I found a gorgeous garden in Philadelphia that I wanted to get married at and planned my entire wedding around it. The fee for the space is $250 which doesn’t include chairs, doesn’t allow music and “can’t interfere with day to day operations of the park”. I OBVIOUSLY didn’t think this through. Logistically it would likely be a living nightmare and very stressful.

The biggest problem at this point is that we have already put down a deposit (1/2 the final cost) for the reception space on a Saturday evening in a private room at a restaurant. We have a contract, we are locked in. I want to keep this place and continue what we planned BUT I also want to completely scrap the garden ceremony. My fiancé and I are both back on the same page about the justice of the peace. Second problem is.... they only perform marriages on Wednesdays.
Our entire guest list (25 ppl) lives within 15/20 minutes of where we would be getting legally married. It’s in the town over. With it being a Wednesday, even with notice most people aren’t going to make it. That is okay. Again, we expect that as long as our VIPS (kids, and parents) will be there and they will, we are happy. We aren’t having a bridal party, flowers, photographer present, not even exchanging personal vows at this ceremony- it’s all a legality. I do however want everyone to feel included if they desire to be so everyone is invited to both events. AGAIN, no hard feelings if they don’t come.
This leads me to the final problem, since we already have our venue, photographer, cake ordered, etc, we have to have our reception on Saturday. That is THREE DAYS LATER. ugh! The event is an hour away in a major city but we all have cars and frequent the area. I’m worried that not only may we have a lower guest turn out since we got married 3 days ago (insert another UGH!) but now the reception just feels like a dinner with no dancing. we do plan to still make it feel like a wedding reception as we will do an entrance, we will have valet as guests arrive, gorgeous cake, 4 courses of food, a signature bar, photographer, I’ll have a bouquet, etc. we even considered asking our immediate family to meet us around the corner from the reception (5 mins away) before it begins to take pictures at the garden we wanted to get married at initially.
So not only would I like some feedback about my plan and if it completely sucks or not but, I’d also like to know.... - would you rename the event a wedding celebration- would you invite everyone to both events- should I keep our registry- is there anything we can do to make it feel more like a wedding reception?
TLDR: I messed up and now I’m trying to plan a wedding reception/celebration 3 days after the ceremony. Am I absolutely screwed?
Thanks for reading!

7 Comments

Latest activity by Lau’Ren, on January 12, 2020 at 12:09 AM
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Well you have one of two options in my opinion. The first option is that often nowadays people may have a small intimate ceremony on one day and then have a post intimate ceremony reception that is larger on a different day. That's what we plan on doing is having a very intimate ceremony one day and then maybe some weeks or months down the line have a larger party where we can invite everyone in a more relaxed setting that we would have invited to the ceremony. However it sounds me like you are not really feeling your ceremony venue or your Justice of the Peace So what I would do is look for just a traveling officiant in the area of where your reception is. A lot of these officiants Will will tailor the ceremony to your liking so if you two are not religious then they will host the ceremony like that. We have not decided on a venue yet but the officiant that I'm interested in will travel to us and if needed she even has a site where we could even hold our nuptials. She is willing to travel within our area to wherever we have it. I would honestly look for a small affordable venue near the restaurant that you can have the ceremony in by everyone or if you've rented an entire floor maybe talk to the restaurant and ask them can they allow you to have the ceremony there with all the tables and chairs and then do the reception afterwards. When my future sister-in-law got married she didn't venue that was where she held her ceremony and reception. Honestly didn't even do a different layout for the ceremony and the reception. We all sat at tables watched her and her husband have a ceremony and then afterwards went straight into the reception.
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  • N
    Dedicated July 2020
    N ·
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    I agree, find an officiant for Saturday and keep what you’ve already planned on the reception sounds like a great idea!! If you wanted that outdoor theme I’m sure you can find some public parks that might allow a small ceremony to be performed. But don’t stress about whatever you decide to do. You can always make your dinner a “celebration”/party even a few days after just let your guests know what’s going on.

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  • Lau’Ren
    Dedicated August 2020
    Lau’Ren ·
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    Thanks for the feedback. I did consider having it at the reception style and doing cabaret style but feel like it would throw off the formality of the event. We are having a private bartender, valet, a full 4-course meal, I’ll be in a dress, etc. I worry about people choosing not to come because the event may come across as less special or important. FH is also worried the event will seem less important if we break it up as guests will see it as we are “already married”. We have an officiant already picked out so that’s not the issue, it’s more location and logistics.
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  • S
    December 2020
    Shelly ·
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    You can have an intimate elopement at the court house with only the 2 of you on Weds. On Sat. have the reception with everyone to Celebrate Your Marriage with all the bells and whistles you wanted. You can even wear your dress both days.

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Formality depends on how you throw the event. You can make any site casual or formal based on how it's held. I think it's more it being there days a part that could be a deterrent. If the wedding and reception were same day or maybe a month a part that might be different.
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  • Lau’Ren
    Dedicated August 2020
    Lau’Ren ·
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    We considered just having our parents and grandparents attend the courthouse wedding and doing a “reception-only” dinner for everyone else. I just worry that guests won’t consider it a big deal since we already got married??
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  • Lau’Ren
    Dedicated August 2020
    Lau’Ren ·
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    We could always go to the courthouse sooner and have the reception later. I thought guests would prefer a shorter timeframe.
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