Catholic Wedding

A mass is optional. And since you're not Catholic you probably would not be able to hold a mass, unless you took classes and consider converting. If you're married in the church he may be required to take pre-Cana which our premarital counseling sessions held by the priest.

If you're getting married in the church you might consider going to RCIA classes to learn more. The Catholic faith is actually pretty intricate and you might find it interesting to learn about all of the different parts of the mass. Why we follow a certain pattern, the history and significance of certain practices.

Talk to your FH's priest to find out what the requirements are to be married there. Pre-cana will almost certainly be required. We did ours through a local deacon. We simply met with him 3 times to talk about common marriage pitfalls and how to avoid them.

You can Google information about typical catholic wedding services. You can either have a full mass with the liturgy of the Eucharist (communion), or you can do a shorter ceremony with readings, vows and a short homily.

This site will help:

http://catholicweddinghelp.com/topics/order-wedding-outside-mass.htm

Typically if one party is not Catholic then a ceremony is preformed by a Deacon vs a Priest. The church is really good about a rehearsal the day before. This way you know when to sit, stand, kneel, etc. You will likely have to take a class or counseling prior. You will need some one (or more than one) for readings.

Adding: I went through RCIA and became Catholic myself so that FH and I would be on the same page when raising a family. Your date looks like it's after Easter next year, so this is an option for you as well!! New members are usually initiated at the Easter vigil. Just something to consider. For me it was so worth it.

Each church/diocese does their pre-marital prep different. The church you want to get married in will be able to provide you with the steps they follow.

For reference, my church requires a full mass if both the bride and groom are Catholic. If one is Catholic and the other is not, they do not allow the full mass to take place. For prep, we had to go to a one day class called Pre-Cana. There were able 30 other couples there and it was held by a married couple from a nearby church. Then we had to take the FOCCUS "compatibility test" and go over our answers with another couple. It was all very painless.

If you're getting married at a catholic church, you should contact someone there and ask their requirements. Usually for catholic ceremonies, you attend "precana" classes and sometimes meet with the priest a few times. The ceremony varies depending on if both are catholic, or one is catholic and the other is not.

If you're a non-confirmed catholic (you were baptized but did not receive confirmation) you will need to go to RCIA classes and be confirmed before you can marry in the church.

PP is correct that the exchange of vows can be done either within a Mass or outside of Mass. If it is outside of Mass you'll still have the Liturgy of the Word which includes the readings before the vows and the Our Father after.

If you are not baptized you will need to use the marriage form for marriage between a Catholic and a non-Christian which does not include a Mass. if you are baptized a Mass may be possible, but may not be advisable depending on your guests.

In either case you will need to fulfill the marriage prep requirements of the parish and diocese. Most parishes require you to contact them about a wedding date at least 6 months prior to the date you want. Once you contact the parish office you should be directed to a priest to talk about a marriage prep meeting.

Also, your FH will need to obtain a dispensation from the diocese to marry a non-Catholic. This is pretty straightforward paperwork that your priest should guide you through.

Will we have to do the sit/stand/kneel if we are not doing the mass with the ceremony?

My church doesn't do kneeling at all. So it depends on the church. But no, when in a church that kneels, we only kneel during the liturgy of the Eucharist. So if you don't have a full mass, no kneeling. ETA: kinda disrespectful to refer to someone's traditions like they're an annoying chore.

CN I don't think OP was trying to offend you or insinuate that your traditions are a chore. It was a simple question. Many people have health concerns that make kneeling difficult or painful.

I'm catholic, FH is not. He is baptized though - in my church my priest allows a full mass only cause he is baptized But my FH and anyone not catholic is not allowed/supposed to participate in the Eucharist part of the mass because of the religious meaning of actually taking the Eucharist . We have the option of doing a ceremony as well if we decide to instead of full mass l.

Requirements differ from each parish but like others mentioned, to get married in the Catholic Church you and FH will need to complete precana (premartial) counseling session - all other paperwork will be dependent on parish requirements!

My family is Catholic..i am not the ceremony will last about 16 hours , just based on other Catholic weddings i have attended

@Amanda, my sisters' (very Protestant) wedding ceremonies each lasted an hour and a half. My Catholic wedding will be shorter than that.

Catholic weddings are sacraments of the church and are celebrated with the community of the faithful. IMO, that's worth more than 20 minutes, and complaining because Catholic ceremonies are long is disrespectful.

@AmandaC mass is never 16 hours, I have no idea where you got that.

OP as others have stated, if you decide not to become Catholic (which is completely your decision. Don't feel that you have to, you should only become Catholic if you want to), you'll most likely have a half Mass, which basically excludes communion. You will however still have to do precana and all that jazz. Most importantly, I would check with the parish you plan to be married in. The pastor should be able to point you in the right direction. A others have stated, every parish is different and every diocese is different. Some are stricter than others. So definitely get in contact with the parish priest. You'll be just fine

Ditto MiniMe. Catholic ceremonies are long, it's simply how they are.

I was raised by a Catholic and a then agnostic as parents-- you will want to make sure that you have discussed how you will raise your children.

OP, have you been married before? In addition to what PPs said, that is a big factor, depending on diocese, as to whether or not you can get married in the Catholic Church (without an annulment).

I'd definitely do some more digging on your diocese's requirements and also educate myself about the faith- I wouldn't want my wedding ceremony to be something I didn't understand and knew next to nothing about- your ceremony is WAY too important for that!

CN I was not trying to offend you or disrespect your religion. As this post was for, I was only trying to figure out what will be going on and get a better idea before we start classes.

No worries OP. Sorry for taking it the wrong way. Good luck with everything!