Catholic Wedding - do or not do?

I was also raised Catholic and always envisioned having a Mass wedding. I'm not practicing either though. My fiancé is Methodist and we ended up picking a Methodist church with a pastor who will personalize our ceremony. Are you willing to look at other denominations? ETA: Date twin!!

Sarah, if you want to get married in that church, you'll have to deal with him. I ran into the same issue - I couldn't connect to the clergy at my childhood hometown church.

Look for an American Catholic church priest instead - these are ordained Catholic priests, but are not *Roman* Catholic, and as such they are much more liberal and open-minded, but will still provide you with a traditional ceremony.

The Vendors tab on WW has many of them, or you can Google to learn more about the Church.

They will not be able to marry you in a Roman Catholic Church, of course, but if you're open to marrying elsewhere they would be a great compromise. My raised-Catholic, one-of-six-kids mom LOVED our American Catholic priest, and he married my brother and his wife as well as me and my husband.

I am Roman Catholic but my FH is not which is the first reason we aren't doing one. Second, I am going to be very honest, Catholicism is very boring to me. And very long. Which is why I am so glad we aren't have a Catholic ceremony. All of the Fathers we have come across aren't personal to their church so I would rather have a baptist ceremony, which is what FH is. However we will be doing nondenominational because I feel that is more us.

ETA I agree with Rebecca. We have only dealt with Roman Catholics and they are by nature very formal and standoffish.

Keep in mind, Catholic church weddings are lovely but very restrictive. There may be a lot of photos your photographer won't be allowed to get. Wouldn't be my choice if I wasn't devout to the religion.

100% what Rebecca said. This is what we are doing. Had my first meeting with him last week and looooved him!

So far I've been invited to 2 weddings next year, one with both bride and groom Catholic, and the other only the bride. Both are getting married at their reception venues, which seems to be more and more common.

My Roman Catholic priest is more likely than my other guests to want to do shots at my wedding reception! There's nothing inherently standoffish about a priest. This is a much bigger question than just what your ceremony is like or what pictures you'll get. I would encourage you to think of the bigger picture here and pray about how you want to practice your faith in your marriage. If you intend to remain Catholic, I highly encourage you to have a Catholic wedding. If you have any questions about a Catholic wedding or the marriage prep process, feel free to PM me!

Thank you all so much! This is super helpful! So comforting to know others had similar experiences and everything turned out great.

@Beach Babe, it's more about what Jay Farrell Photography says - Roman Catholic weddings are quite strict in how they are conducted, and many people find them overly formal and don't like the fact that they can't alter, customize, or choose their own vows, for example.

My uncle is a priest and sadly we couldnt get permission from my diocese (i'm Catholic FH is not) to have an out of church wedding and neither of us want to go through pre cana so we are in the same position of trying to find a new minister when neither of us elis really religious

This is such a personal decision! I'm not the "best" Catholic but it still meant a lot to me to complete the sacrament of marriage, even though H is not Catholic. My uncle is a priest and married us and it was an amazing, intimate, personal ceremony.

But that is what worked for us. Yes, the ceremony was restrictive in terms of what music we could use and where the photographer we could go. But that didn't matter to us. It's all what is important to you--the two of you need to make this decision. Good luck!

It sounds like you want to have a ceremony that reflects you; it can be religious and inspiring without being in an actual church; possibly even more so. A good officiant will be able to incorporate the elements that are meaningful to you (prayers, scriptures) into a ceremony that reflects you and includes your family, friends, dogs, readings and ritual elements. It will feel sacred but still feel like you.

Is there a deacon in the parish? FH wasnt catholic so we didnt plan to do a full mass but I wanted to get married in the church. I didnt connect with the current preist in my home church but there was a deacon that I absolutely loved! He was honored that I asked him to do our wedding and everything turned out great.

We had planned on a Catholic ceremony and did all the prep work. 3 months before the ceremony I said no. I couldn't in my heart be married there. I go to church and really respect the priest who was going to marry us. But the restrictions were too many for me to handle: we could use only a few songs, a few readings (none of which I liked), my dad couldn't walk me down the aisle until i got halfway down it, my dress had restrictions, and FH and I he to kneel for an hour (I had a knee replaced a few years ago due to injury and literally cannot kneel but he didn't care). My church is super conservative and I'm not, so it didn't mesh,

Listen to your gut! The day of Pre-Cana was great, the monthly meeting with the priest was great, I just couldn't get over the restrictions of it all.

@janet G what Roman Catholic Church was this?! I've never heard of so many restrictions, and have been raised Roman Catholic and attended many catholic weddings. Restrictions on your dress? Kneeling the entire mass?FH and I will have to kneel but only when everyone else does

The pastor marrying us is the complete opposite of stuffy lol. My photographer can do whatever he pleases. As can we. It really depends on the church as far as how stuffy it is. You have to feel it in your heart that marrying in the Catholic Church is what you want to do. FH and I are not the "best" Catholics, but both of us want to complete the sacrament of marriage.

Ya thats complicated.

one suggest from me...

if you not comfort.. dont do that.

Do the catholic blessing. That's what we did. Not near as long or as confusing for guest who aren't catholic but we still got to be married in the church.

We are doing a Catholic Wedding. We are doing a destination wedding and weren't sure if we would be able to find a Church (we did thought). But my initial thought was to just do a ceremony with FH and I at our Church in NYC and then do the legal ceremony as the "big" wedding with all of our guests.

I don't love our priest... we are getting married in Mexico and he is Irish so he has heavily accented English and mixes in spanish words lol but he is very sweet. For me, the Catholic ceremony was essential because I was raised Catholic and thus would have the guilt of not doing it "properly". I know it was silly but it just kept nagging at me so we decided to do it.

I don't really believe those saying that you are Roman clatholic really are... My father had to jump through hoops to get married in a Roman Catholic Church. My mother HAD to wear a long sleeve gown and a hat and they both had to kneel or sit for the entire thing. Not only that but the ceremony was 2 hours. They were not allowed to even go to church together until my father was confirmed. A Catholic Church and a Roman Catholic Church are two totally different things.

OP maybe you should clarify if you are Roman Catholic or Catholic. Also go talk to your priest ( Roman Catholics are usually called fathers) to see what you specifically can and cannot do.