Jasmine
Rockstar February 2021

Catering Killed Our Guest List

Jasmine, on December 4, 2019 at 4:00 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 27
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We had finalized our guest list and we were content...until catering sent us an invoice. Holy fuzzballs! We were forced to cut our guest list down to at least 100 people which was really hard! What really killed us that we didn't even take into consideration was the taxes afterward!! Otherwise our original guest list would have been ok to deal with.


I hear that you should be prepared for at least what, 20% to not show up? Our fear is that just our luck we would have close to 100% if not perfect attendance especially if they had enough notice. I don't know what to do because if we start receiving declined RSVPs, that would make room again. Would it be ok to invite them then or should we just leave it alone?


Is there any good solution to this?

27 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You should assume that all of your guests are going to attend. Sending additional invitations when you get declines is called b-listing and it’s extremely rude.
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  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    Duly noted. Thanks

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  • Neeva
    Super September 2020
    Neeva ·
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    I think you just need to invite who you can afford to invite!

    Only you know your audience best as to who will actually attend. We are inviting a lot of people from out of town/even out of the country as a courtesy but I doubt they will come. That gives me a rough idea of who will come, but I am also prepared for most people to come.

    Unfortunately once you send out your invites, you are done. You can't really invite anyone else just because others decline, especially since that is super late notice and can be seen as rude to the guest.

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  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    Yea that makes sense. I didn't think about it that way which is why I was asking. I appreciate your feedback. Thanks

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  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Well if you really want to invite everyone you planned on inviting could you maybe find a different venue to host the reception or find other ways to cut down cost there? Sadly receptions these days are horribly expensive. Some of the prices Astound me.
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  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    Yea so I've learned. We were prepared in regards to knowing it was going to cost but that invoice hit really hard. It's just unfortunate that our venue only works with 2 caterers otherwise we would have gone with a different one without question. Our caterer out of the 2 is also the cheaper one. That's insane.

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  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I agree. Sadly just saying the word wedding people up the charge because they know that there are people getting married out there that will find a way to pay the fee. It's really sad because I am not sure if these Caterers would charge the same price for just a regular party. Are you dead set on using that venue for the reception? Is the venue the same place you're having the ceremony?
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  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    I know! It's ridiculous. Yes it is where our ceremony will be held and we only have one more payment left to make. I don't know if I really care to search for another venue that I actually like in the surrounding area, especially if the payments are non-refundable, ya know. I guess I'll just have to make some people mad and let them know. We have to have at least a 75 guest minimum otherwise it will be like an additional $2 or $4 add on per plate.

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  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Oh no did you already send out invitations?
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  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    No. We won't be sending out invites until April/May. We'll be sending our save the dates hopefully in January. Just waiting on our engagement shoot in a couple weeks.

    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Savvy July 2020
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    My fiancé and I were invited to a wedding two weeks before the date because “as people are starting to decline, we’re realizing the people we should have invited all along.” We went. We got free food. We got free alcohol. We had a free date night. Did I think for a hot second that it was rude? Maybe. Did I care? Absolutely not. I think if there’s still people that you want to invite after others start declining and you want to invite others then do it.
    • Reply
  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    That makes sense too. And I'm also stating the deadline a month before the actual venue deadline regardless. Thanks for your input.

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  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Oh ok so at least no need to rescind offers. I think just have people really close to you and who really love and support you.

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  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    Thanks. I might have to look into our list AGAIN! I feel like I've looked at it so many times I memorized everyone's names Smiley amazing

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  • A
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    Alison ·
    • Flag

    I don't think it's rude at all to have a B-list or even a C-list for your invitations. My friends and I have discussed that it's just the way things go. With no offense meant you to, Catlyn - you're entitled to your opinion - anyone who doesn't understand that I can't afford to invite everyone to my wedding, and that I might not have had room for them on the guest list until I knew that some other people weren't coming isn't someone who I want standing with me while I pledge my life to my husband.


    I say invite your people and if folks can't come, invite some more until you have the number/people you want that fits with your budget!

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  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    Yes! That's where our minds are too. That's why I asked. We wouldn't intentionally go beyond what we can afford (which is what we thought we could until catering invoice came out). So that's the sticky situation we're in. Thank you for your input.

    • Reply
  • Gabrielle
    Savvy July 2020
    Gabrielle ·
    • Flag

    Personally, I don't see the problem with inviting people if others can't come.

    You originally wanted them ALL at your wedding and you just couldn't due to circumstance, it's not as if you're simply trying to make up the numbers.


    I wouldn't mention to anyone about it though, like - "I'm sorry your sister couldn't come but if someone rsvps no then she's welcome" lol.

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  • Alejandra
    Expert November 2020
    Alejandra ·
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    I completely agree with this! Especially now that I’ve been planning a wedding, I definitely wouldn’t mind if someone invited us last minute because they had open spots and still wanted me at their wedding.
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  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    Lol yea, I definitely didnt plan on mentioning it like that. Thank you
    • Reply
  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    Yea like they're not really a 2nd thought because I originally wanted them. Thanks!
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