Amanda
Savvy April 2018

Casual Rehearsal Dinner

Amanda, on March 9, 2018 at 1:25 PM Posted in Planning 0 15
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I'm not quite sure what to do regarding rehearsal dinner. First of all, I'm not entirely sure we need the rehearsal at the venue. I think the processional and everything will be pretty straightforward. Also our wedding is on a Friday, so the rehearsal would fall on a Thursday, or even before that if the venue isn't available that night, so may not be convenient for everyone.
Our venue is in the downtown area of our town, so I was thinking everyone could just walk over to one of the pubs and we would order a bunch of apps and drinks. We don't want anything fancy because it's not really in the budget, our wedding is a seated dinner, and my FILs are throwing a bbq house party the day after the wedding. I mentioned to my FMIL that my FH and I could pay, but she said no, they would pick up the tab if they have to. I feel bad though since they're already hosting a party at their house, and paying for the alcohol for the wedding. Is having a rehearsal dinner completely necessary? Is it okay to just do something casual?

Also they have some family coming in from out of the country that will be there, so that's another consideration. I feel like it would be rude to not invite them, which of course will just add on to the cost.

Basically, to have or not to have, is casual okay, who should pay, and is it necessary to cover all costs (i.e. drinks)?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Ashlee, on March 9, 2018 at 5:46 PM
  • Red Queen
    VIP May 2018
    Red Queen ·
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    If you host an event, you need to pay.

    It doesn't have to be anything special, we are just doing a BBQ.

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  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
    • Flag

    Casual is okay if you have one but it sounds like you may not need it. If it's not a religious ceremony and your WP will literally just be walking down an aisle, I would skip it.

    • Reply
  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
    • Flag

    Someone has to pay and its not the guests. You can limit it to beer and wine, but yes people are expecting some sort of booze at the event. Ours is a welcome reception that everyone is invited to as 99% of ours guests are from out of town and will be BBQ, drinks, on our rooftop, its economical.

    Since your wedding is a Friday I would just skip it. Your DOC or officiant can do a run through day of or just let people know. Your out of the country guests will probably appreciate the Saturday festivities more than a very casual evening at the bar, so just stick with that. If you feel like you have to do something for them. Make it drinks with the bride and groom at 8:30pm or something on Thursday so they aren't expecting a lot.

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  • firstoneat56
    Master August 2017
    firstoneat56 ·
    • Flag

    Doesn't sound like you need a rehearsal so no rehearsal dinner is needed.

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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag

    It is definitely okay to have a casual rehearsal dinner. You only need it though if you plan to have a rehearsal. If you do have a rehearsal, then you invite your wedding party and their SO, your immediate families, and the officiant and his/her SO. You don't have to include OOT guests, but it is a nice gesture. We did more of a welcome party where we invited anyone who wanted to join us for dinner could meet us in the hotel lobby and walk over together to the local BBQ place next to the hotel. We paid for everything including alcohol. If you do invite people to the dinner it should be completely hosted without your guests having to pay for anything including alcohol but just having beer and wine is fine.

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  • Meaghan
    VIP November 2017
    Meaghan ·
    • Flag

    If you are doing a rehearsal you should have a rehearsal dinner and you should pay. It doesn't need to be anything fancy. We didn't have a rehearsal because it didn't seem necessary to us. We basically said to all of our guests "we are planning on going to dinner the night before the wedding at x time at y restaurant if anyone wants to stop by. And we're going to see Thor Ragnarok at this theater at this time after." But our wedding was intimate (20 people). This informal get together worked well for us, and everyone paid for themselves. Again though it wasn't a formal rehearsal dinner, and we didn't ask anyone to rehearse!

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  • Jessie
    Devoted June 2018
    Jessie ·
    • Flag
    We are renting a house through home away for our out of town bridal party. And our “rehearsal dinner” will be pizza and drinks at that house lol just so we can greet everyone and introduce everyone before the ceremony
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Savvy April 2018
    Amanda ·
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    That's a good idea! Although we're having our wedding and everything in our hometown, but don't have a house to host in. One of the reasons I wanted to have something before the wedding was for everyone to be able to meet before the actual wedding. His groomsmen are from out of town, and almost his entire family.
    • Reply
  • 2018 Bride
    Devoted September 2018
    2018 Bride ·
    • Flag

    Agree that you don't need a rehearsal dinner if you are not asking people to come rehearse prior to the wedding. As for your out of town guests- my FSIL did something that worked well. She invited anyone who was in town the night before to a local bar and she and her fiance ordered some snacks/ appetizers to have out and then they picked up the drink tab at the end of the night. It was a nice casual way for the guests to have more time with the bride/ groom and have something to do if they were in town early.

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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
    • Flag

    If you're having a rehearsal, then you need to fully host a meal afterwards, i.e. pay for everything for everyone.

    However, a rehearsal isn't necessary at all. No rehearsal, no dinner.

    • Reply
  • Kristina
    Master August 2018
    Kristina ·
    • Flag

    It sounds like you don't really need the rehearsal, so if you can get away with not having one, a dinner is completely unnecessary as well. Save yourself the stress and money! Smiley smile

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  • Daria
    VIP January 2019
    Daria ·
    • Flag

    If you're not having a rehearsal I wouldn't have a dinner. Especially if you are hosting another party the day after, you don't need a welcome dinner. You don't have to feed everyone 3-4 times. FMIL's comment of "we'll pay if we have to" would strike me as a little passive aggressive. I think I would just tell her they've done more than enough.

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  • Amanda
    Savvy April 2018
    Amanda ·
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    That's a great idea, we might just do something like that
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  • Amanda
    Savvy April 2018
    Amanda ·
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    It wasn't meant in a passive aggressive way. We're very close, I would just feel bad because they're already paying for the alcohol for the wedding, as well as hosting a party at their house the day after, on top of having their family and friends come in from out of the country. And she knows my FH and I are on a tight budget right now, and my family is paying for the reception.
    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated March 2018
    Ashlee ·
    • Flag
    Causual is fine! We are having a catered dinner at our house. Nothing fancy since our wedding reception is going to be formal.
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