Casual Engagement Party / Get together Guest Advice!

You can have your coworkers out for a get together without calling it an engagement party. If you're having a small close friends and family only wedding I don't see how your coworkers would get the wrong idea or be offended.

You also don't host your own engagement party.

We wanted to host our own engagement party. So, yes you CAN host your own party. We are not traditional people.

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

Hosting your own engagement party makes you look gift grabby. Throw a party but don't call it an engagement party. If someone else wants to throw it for you, then you can call it an engagement party. Once You Call it an engagement party, everyone invited to it should be invited to the wedding. Imagine being invited to an engagement party but then finding out you weren't good enough to be Invited to the wedding. It's rude.

OK, so lets just assume we are having a get together to celebrate our upcoming nuptials. I didn't think posting a simple question on this site would receive such catty responses...

Then why are you worried about being rude inviting people to an engagement party and not the wedding. You already threw etiquette out the window, might as well go for the full monty

I should point out this is not a gift grab! It's just a way to involve people we care for. Yes, not calling it an engagement party is a great idea. Any fun suggestions to call a get together like this?

You ask for advice. That's what people are giving you. If you want validation, you aren't going to get it here. People here give honest advice to help you from making mistakes we have seen or made in the past. It's to help you not hurt you.

A get together to celebrate your upcoming nuptials is an engagement party.

Why can't you just have a party without mentioning your wedding? Everything doesn't have to be about your wedding just because you're getting married. Have you coworkers out or over for a party.

My fiancé and I are wanting a small wedding as well, so we are inviting everyone to celebrate with us at the reception. We are just renting a big banquet room then decorating ourselves. We are also trying to save some money when it comes to the reception, so we are having a taco bar that we are putting together ourselves. DIY can save so much!!

I'm not looking for validation. It just seems to me I was not clear enough in my post. Really didn't need forum shade from OriginalKD for no reason.

Ashley...who is invited to your ceremony? Like how many people are invited to ceremony and how many to reception?

ETA: oh god how did I miss the self catering part. No please no Ashley. Your guests deserve better than food poisoning!

OH, FFS...Here we go again.

Don't self cater. Rule #2

ETA: Saw OP's response.

Hey Ashley, thanks! We're doing a lot of DIY decor too but having the place we reserved for the ceremony and reception cater the wedding.

I cant believe there are trolls on a wedding website...

A get together that celebrates your upcoming nuptials is still a wedding related event, and that means it's rude to invite anyone who would not be in other to the actual wedding.

Wedding related events like a shower, engagement party, bachelor/bachelorette party are parties that are thrown in your honor, and some have the potential to result in gifts for the bride and groom. Because it's in your honor, it looks bad if you host your own.

Lololol says the double ring avatar.

I think it's totally fine to celebrate with your coworkers this way. I'm from an area/religion where it's really common for only immediate family and best friends to be invited to the ceremony and then the couple, or their parents, host an open house cake & punch type reception to celebrate with everyone. You could maybe steal some of that wording?

Hi Ali -

I went right from OP to posting.

I would not include anyone who is NOT invited to the wedding to ANY of your pre-wedding events. It's sending a mixed message.

I totally get invites. TBH it's only and all about the $ in most cases. Amongst the work place, don't open conversations about your wedding. If someone else does, keep it generic then switch the topic.

Do not plan your own "B List Party". I put that in quotes because that's how I would look at it as a guest. As a Bride and Groom, you plan your wedding. That's it. If any other parties of any kind happen before or after it's because someone else planned them.

If you have a "B list Party", cancel it and use that $ to invite those guests to your actual wedding.