Cash bar or no midnight buffet ?

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Did I miss something? Where did OP say she was having a mariachi band? I even looked at her other thread and didn't see it mentioned. I feel lost.

View Quoted Comment I don’t think she did, though it sounds fun! I think someone else said that.

I also feel a little ripped off that I have never been to a wedding with a midnight buffet! If that’s Italian, I’m the wrong kind! Lol!

View Quoted Comment Really? Every Italian wedding I've been to had it. I don't know if it's regional or if it's because Italians started mixing with Portuguese and then it became their custom as well. My mom's side of the family that is Spaniard also has the midnight buffet at weddings.

I'd prefer an open bar at a wedding but it depends on every crowd. All our friends and my family like to drink heavily, so they'd enjoy an open bar over a better food option. And I'm sure your food will still be good with an open bar. The seafood buffet sounds so cool! I've never heard of that before. Can his family pay for the extra money for the other food, and you continue to pay for the open bar and seafood?

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Sooo, which of those 3 has a midnight seafood buffet as part of their culture's weddings? I've just never heard of that.

And completely agree with PPs if you have all those things and then a cash bar, I'd be PISSED. Taking care of drinks trumps late night fish.

View Quoted Comment All three of them have it, but the type of midnight buffet Im looking at is more Italian / Portuguese.

...could you do open bar and like...midnight shrimp cocktails?

View Quoted Comment That’s not compromise. You shouldn’t scrap all his stuff so you can get what you want. Compromise is, “I get my open bar, you get your bagpipes and we will scrap the buffet and dancers.” I’m not sure if you said that because you were frustrated or you mean it but it came off very hostile towards your FH.

View Quoted Comment I dont want to scrape all his stuff. What I mean is why should we have BOTH things he wants for the wedding while I chose what to give up. What he doesn't seem to understand is my family gives money at weddings and they will give a lot of money based on the fact that we are having an open bar and midnight buffet. So we will get $17,500 back plus more.

View Quoted Comment I've offered a smaller buffet or even get rid the sweet table but he thinks we should get rid of the buffet although to save money or at least cash bar if the midnight buffet is more important. Obviously I would choose open bar, but I want to have some kind of buffet as well.

I vote to keep the open bar and you could scale back on choices to save some of the cost maybe. Is your buffet based on total guest count number, number left at midnight, or the amount you wish to order? That could greatly impact the costs. Also, the type of food at the after party (midnight buffet in your case). Our venue offers a lot of choices for our after party snack. We will be choosing exactly what food (even though we have our food picked currently if numbers work out) closer to the wedding. You may end up with less guests after the rsvps come in.

it down with FH and see is there is a spot that you can find a compromise between all of the things. You mentioned a sweets table.. can you do a cookie table that family bakes for that is used as the sweets? If you want to have it all talk to him about changing the menu up to save some costs. Can you cut the bar back and hour and have it closed during dinner or something like that? I don’t know the details but just some suggestions.

Also, I know you aren’t having one but I really want to attend a wedding with a mariachi band!

View Quoted Comment We was po’. No, unfortunately not...I mean I’m like 3 generations removed at this point and in the Pittsburgh area where I’m from people all do cookie tables. Just never had a seafood buffet. My great grandmother was from a coastal town too...but then again in inland PA, where she ended up, seafood choices weren’t great! When I was little, frozen fish was all there was!