Capping the age on children

That's hard. I ran into the same kind of issue. I don't want to say my vows and have the chance of a kid screaming and crying. I think it's also hard to do that rule if there are people with mixed age kids. I think at that point it might be better to do no kids at ceremony at all. Or have all of them there.
Is there a room that maybe all the kids could be in? I have a nursery at church the kids go to when it's time for sermon so adults are enjoying the sermon peacefully. I am using the nursery for my ceremony - hired the church nanny to look after all kids during the duration of my ceremony.

View Quoted Comment I didn’t think of that!!! I don’t know who I could get to watch them but I totally didn’t think of that!! I am getting married at a church so it will have a room!

I agree that wedding is no place for small children (unless they’re immediate family, of course), mostly because weddings go until late, people get drunk & there are long periods of sitting still (ceremony, dinner, first dance etc) - all of which are usually torture for a lot of young children lol.

I do see a few issues with your plan, though.
- Wording age cutoff on invite might be little bit poor taste.
- What happens if a family has 2 kids, one below & one above age cutoff?
- Children don’t stop randomly crying or misbehaving or being bored / tired etc. at the age of 6. I understand you are looking for compromise, but 6 seems like a random cutoff that might not accomplish what you’re looking for.
- I would find it more relevant & easier to explain to people that only for ex. children from the family are invited (those who are the closest to you), rather than explaining to parents why their well behaved 5 year old cannot attend lol.
- I wouldn’t expect most children to color in silence during the ceremony. Some children don’t like coloring, coloring without a table
might be messy & parents might not want them to do it etc.

At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong answer here & you should totally do what fits your & FH’s vision. I’m just pointing out things that I would personally take into consideration.

Honestly just be blunt

The issue I see with this is if you have any families with children very close in age- let’s say a 5 year old and a 6.5 year old. Behaviorally, there isn’t much of a jump between those ages when it comes to whether they can sit quietly for 45 minutes. As a parent, if these were my circumstances and only one was invited, I would decline the invitation for our entire family because I wouldn’t be paying for childcare for one kid (over $100 for a 6 hour span on a Saturday night in my area) and leaving him/her behind while their barely older sister/brother gets to come with.

Also, for what it’s worth, I have a 6 year old who goes to school and even at the school she attends every 30 minutes they get up and run in place or do jumping jacks because kids that age don’t have a long attention span. I’ve never seen her doing any activity quietly for 45 minutes.

It seems like a very arbitrary cut off, that might rub guests the wrong way. If it's really so important to your FH to have children at the wedding, maybe just invite the kids on his side and prepare to explain to other guests on the day that he's just closer with the kids in his family?

I work with children and have been asked many times to serve as a babysitter for little ones during a ceremony. If there is a small children’s room at the church, you could easily hire someone for $50 to look after the younger children. I suggest asking for recommendations from friends with children or even on Facebook. Just make sure they’re trustworthy. I’m sure the parents will appreciate it!

I'm doing the same cut off at 6 too. My fiancè's family has a lot of kids and I honestly do not want to deal with some of the younger kids at the wedding because some of them act like they don't have any home training 😂. In my case, I know the ages of all the children in each family and all the families children was either over 6 or under 6.
In regard to that, some families may opt out because of childcare reasons. To levy that, you can either provide a babysitter or make it a hard rule and expect some people not to come. Either way it's your day and you should make the best decision for you.

I'd say childcare during the event is the better option. Random age cutoff is going to be very weird. I could understand if you said teenagers or older but 6? Really doesn't mean they'll sit still for 45 minutes or not cry ect.
Also as many people said do your guests have more than one child? If any do what happens if one is over 6 and one is under? That's awkward and honestly deserves some backlash for the lack of foresight in my opinion.

You go girl! Thats awesome you got your FH on board with the no kids rule for the wedding. I personally dont want kids at our wedding- i have 2 kids on my side, and he has about 12 on his side. I just would prefer them not being there, but unfortunately if the kids dont come, it would stop their parents from coming who are all out of town guests.

I see some people are saying to use the churchs room and hire a babysitter. I personally would not do this, because although they arent at the wedding, parents would probably still expect you to feed them.. and also since the room is in the same building whats to stop the parents from taking the kids from the room and bringing them into the wedding ceremony or reception?

I personally would not put an age limit, because that just leaves wiggle room for people to bring the kids- like some people might think oh my kids 6 but my other kid is 2, so of course ill bring them both. uh nooo

I think you should send your invite with the regular info, and have a printed insert card explaining that this will be a child free wedding...and then when you address the invites make sure to be very clear on who you are addressing the invite to

To me, it should be kids or no kids. I think having a random age cut off makes it difficult. We are having a kid free wedding for the exact reasons you named. We posted on our website that it will be an adult only wedding and on our invitations it will say "adult only reception to follow". We are also only addressing the invitations specifically to who is invited. No "and family" will be included.

To follow what Andrea stated, the church may have a volunteer who regularly serves during church services who would be happy to help you out for sitting. If you choose to have someone sit the kids in another area/room, that may also be an option rather than having a friend you invited miss your wedding or involving someone you already know. Typically churches will have already vetted their volunteers before trusting them with the littles.

We are having an age cut off as well so we avoid splitting up families, but our cut off is much higher at 16 or 17. They're old enough to sit still and still enjoy the party.

I'm doing no kids except for family who are traveling and all the sitters will be there in attendance. Luckily we only have a few and most of them are over 10 so that helps. I would just say no kids at all and then if a family member or close friend has an issue you can take it up with them.

I do not enjoy children and do not want the chance of hearing a screeching cry during the ceremony or first dance, etc. My FH and I have decided to have our cut off at age 10. We went through a list of the families and compared ages to make sure we were minimizing how many families would have some kids over and some under. I plan to put something along the lines of “Children over the age of 10 are welcome” on a reception card. Now if only my FH’s family will follow through!