Can't afford food, need to figure out reception time

I agree with Emily - stick with cake and punch (and if you have extra room in the budget spring for more appetizers and desserts), and make sure that you are hosting the wedding during a non-meal time! I think 2-4:30 works really well (ceremony from 2-2:30, mingling with cake and punch for 2 hours), but if you want to go earlier in the day for the older guests you mentioned, then you could start at 10am and finish in time for people to go get lunch!

People will probably get hungrier at the end of your reception if you go the morning route, but it depends on how much you think time of day will affect attendance with your guests!

Also on this slim budget there are a few things I want to make sure you've thought of!! Don't forget about the cost to apply for a marriage license (call your local county clerk for info), and to figure out the cost of things like napkins, tablecloths, cups & plates. It doesn't have to be anything fancy or expensive, just don't forget to plan for them!

Ha! OP just ghosted y'all and you just keep on going and going...

@firstoneat56: uh, are you new around here, or nah? Cause we do this all the time, NYC CHICK.

eta: looks like she returned. Jokes on you lol.

Lilybean and others: I think the definition of a budget is that it is comprised of funds set aside for a specific purpose. So OPs budget for this event has nothing to do with her other finances. $600 is what she can afford to spend ON THIS- it's none of your business what she does with the rest of her money. Those judging her overall financial situation based on her age and the casual type of wedding she's having need to check their privilege. I don't recall posters who are having very small weddings with 10-15 guests getting backlash about their life choices. And before you come back with the bullshit "properly hosting" phrase- a cake and punch reception is acceptable and recommended constantly by all the same people who are belittling OP instead of giving her advice.

A) there is money in a retirement plan. A retirement plan. Not to be confused with, let's blow the wad on a wedding and worry later about retiring. That money is not in the budget because it is being spent. I am not compromising on my retirement for a one day event. The lack of ready cash now is due to a series of bad life events. Every emergency required money. Add two job changes to the mix.

B) The wedding was supposed to be this time next year but family member's health has pushed it up.

C) 80 people showing up was not what I had planned. I am used to being with one side of my family at a time. 20-25 tops.

D) dress, flowers and cake are paid for.

When he suggested we take a hardship loan out of his 401 to pay for the wedding I freaked out. We sat down and looked at what we can could come up with. Without stopping our saving, without going into debt.

I have threw a major screaming match to be heard over pushy family members who think we should dump our retirement fund into a wedding. They finally listened when I walked out on a planning session. No, they listened when GRANDMA called and told them to stop bullying because there was no reason to pay large amounts for a huge one day event.

There is money to provide punch, bottled water, sodas plus the paid for cake. I like the bagel, cream cheese and fruit idea. This is not going to be a party with dj, pro photographer, glitter. These are seniors who are going to be dozing in between socializing.

I don't have an idea for a dream wedding. Parties give me hives. Parties for me give me nightmares. Parties for a 61st anniversary to honor a man and woman who have welcomed me into their family with open arms? I can do that.

Yes, I want to elope. But I am going to crush that desire because he really wants a "real" wedding. I love him and I am going to ditch the jeans for a dress. I will enjoy seeing everyone in one place. I will cut the cake for photos and make sure we manage a way for his mom and dad to cut the cake we are having made for them.

I have a matron of honor and a bridesmaid. He has a best man and my dad will walk me to the altar.

I will find a way to be tactful on the invitations so people are not showing up expecting a meal. His dad is getting worse. My grandma is getting worse.

I would love to put this off so we could save up for a more lavish affair. We don't have the time. People can choose to be with us to celebrate and say goodbye to people who matter to their lives, or they can be with us in spirit. Either way, I am going to focus on what matters. Marrying the man I love and seeing family in one place happy.

Your wedding is Sept . .. I'm finding it hard to believe that people 50 to 52 can't afford more then $600 ... seriously!?! Not trying to be mean but how is that possible .. you really can't even spare 300 month ? It would increase your budget by 1200 ??

Angela, I'm sorry about your hardships and the deterioration in family members' health. I truly think the best thing would be a (much) small(er) wedding and dinner (or lunch or whatever) with immediate family. Take time to spend with and/or visit these family members another time while they're still here (perhaps not even waiting until September to do that). I just don't think trying to pack as much as you can (in this case, that's guests) into a teeny tiny budget is worth the stress. It's great that you aren't taking from your retirement fund; people shouldn't do that or take out a loan or go into debt for a one day party. But you're stressing yourself out with the pressure of what everyone *else* wants. Say no (sounds like you've tried to do that) and stay firm. Not everyone has to be invited, and that's what it comes down to. I feel like this post is going in circles. I'm sorry what you're going through, but I think there is unnecessary stress being added by trying to accomplish more than what you might be able to afford.

And here you are too first. Thanks for pointing that out.

You know, other people find help on threads they didn't start.

Honestly I'd return the dress, do a courthouse wedding then a cake and punch reception after. That would keep you in your budget I think, oh and skip the sandwiches

I don't see a lot of privilege here honestly. I do see a lot of small weddings and those posters never get backlash because their choices make sense for them.

No one recommended taking money from a retirement fund for a party. And no one ever will.

After reading the clarifying comments,

Angela, to answer your timing question again: if you have it from 1:30-4 or 4:30, no one should be expecting a meal. My grandma who eats supper around 430 might be a bit hungry, but it'll be over at that point and they can go eat.

If you have the budget for super light snacks that should be all you might need.

It sounds like you know your crowd well, and they know what to expect.

I hope you have a great celebration with your family while you have the opportunity. And congrats on getting married

If its a family reunion type of thing why not make it a pot lock.. I mean it's not just you're wedding it's also someone else anniversary what about coming together with them and put some ideas together or you can just get married just the 2 of you alone and just have a BBQ don't consider it being a reception just a get together reunion where ppl bring a dish or w.e

Courthouse wedding??

@Amethyst Queen that's horrible advice. OP, do not self cater. You should not make your guest do anything for your wedding and it's not safe with the potential for food poisoning. I contacted food poisoning from a potluck event a few years ago, and right now I'm recovering after eating something contaminated with bacteria at my bridal shower last weekend.

Skip the sandwiches and stick with cake and punch.

Do not cut any family. If your parents are elderly and in poor health, give them this day. Breakfast foods are your cheapest option. Go to a fruit market and cut up fruit. Do mini quiche as eggs are cheap now. Cut up bagels and spreads work also. I lost my dad before we had a chance to get married and I still regret it. I am older like you. I realize how quick people are gone. Make memories while you can.

OP, you have received a lot of helpful advice, and it's pretty much all the same. No one is slamming you for your budget, I've seen a lot of comments here telling you how you can make it work with $600. No one is telling you to take from your retirement.

1:30 time. Cake and punch. Your problems are solved. Seriously.

You should just do cake and punch. Try to have the reception and wedding at the same place. The reception should be very short, such as an hour.

If I were you I would get married at the courthouse and then go to dinner. Sorry but $600 for 80 people doesn't seem realistic.

A former co-worker of mine had what I believe is one of the most romantic weddings to date. They were a bit older with grown children. Getting married was a very intimate event for them. They had the officiant and another witness go on their favorite hike, stopped at their favorite view and got married. They decided to celebrate with a dinner with the rest of their family at a later date. Why not get married at the courthouse/park with all the family to witness the most important part. Then have a celebration later down the road.