Cane for groom???

I'm in the minority here, but I would let him use them if he REALLY wants to. It's his wedding too. Why don't you ask him if he thinks he'll be ok with the top hat and cane in your wedding pictures 30 years from now. It's outdated now, so it will be really outdated then. That might change his mind. If not, I'd just let him use them. I told FH he could show up in PJs if he wanted to...or a bathing suit or whatever. I don't care as long as he's there and marrying me. That's what's important.

My DH uses a cane. He is ALWAYS dropping it and if I'm there, I'm the one picking it up.

I agree it's his wedding, too, so he should have some things he wants without you having veto power. However, have your FH carry one for a day. He'll get frustrated with it. Also point out that if it is a rental he will have to pay for it if (when) it gets lost on your wedding day.

Not sure if someone else has said this, but if you're gonna let him have the cane, you're gonna need to let him have the top hat, otherwise this "look" he's going for won't work and he'll just look like he hurt himself.

To me, a groom with a cane (unless it is actually needed and it's usually pretty obvious if it is) looks silly and childish. It looks like he's trying to be a pimp. It makes me assume he's kind of a jackass. Plus, they usually end up swinging them around and I figure at some point either something is getting knocked over or someone is getting smacked with it.

Did he get a say in your dress? If not, why would you get a say in his attire at all--even the top hat?

I agree with what Celia said 100%! My grandfather has a cane because he had a stroke and he needs it to walk. Just no.

Not sure why he wants one other than "looks" which- I can't really complain as he probably didn't get a chance to have an opinion in your dress.

But- being said- my dad carries a cane- it's more of a walking stick than a cane- but it's rather a thing- I bet you he'll carry/wear it for an hour and take it off and leave the cane somewhere- unless you're used to carrying one- you won't want it for long.

And if you're REALLY stuck on it- perhaps say- if you want it at the wedding- then wear it for a month leading up to it (or two- or three- whatever) and if he wears it and realizes what a pain in the ass it is- he might give it up on his own.

Thanks guys really appreciate the feedback from some. I clearly understand its our wedding, but I don't want him looking like a pimp or something. Same as if I wanted to just have on a bra and nickers with money hanging out he might not approve. I don't like the look of it, yes there I go with the I's, etc. We will see what happens haha. Thanks