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Altman
Savvy May 2022

Cancelled May 14, 2022 Wedding

Altman, on March 22, 2022 at 11:51 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 25
I totally had to cancel my wedding bc my future in-laws are I don’t even know how to describe them. My MIL is overbearing & doesn’t know how to accept NO as any answer. She was planning the wedding of HER dreams and inviting everyone & their mother on OUR dime. Yes, she offered to pay extra money but that’s beside the point. My fiancé and I are paying and it’s OUR wedding!!! Her two sons have been married before and so it’s not like this is a first wedding!


She was told NO by ME, then my wedding planner then when that didn’t work, she went in on my fiancé. Then his dad went in on him. He was stressed out and didn’t communicate it to me and started belittling me. I was already stressed out bc if his mother…
Him being an a-hole to me was the icing on the cake. For someone to say they’re big on communication but then keep it secret that his family is bashing him every day when he goes home, then turn around and take it out on me over the weekend when I see him, isn’t cool.
This past Friday I told my wedding planner to cancel it. Lost deposits and $2k for my dress and veil out the window 😒 I almost made it y’all 😭

25 Comments

Latest activity by Lily, on April 8, 2022 at 12:57 PM
  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Hello Altman. I'm sorry about your relationship and cancelled wedding. I admire you for making the best decision for yourself and for respecting your own boundaries. Unfortunately, the other family never learned these skills and are willing to dissolve relationships, perhaps more than once. Parents cannot teach their children what they don't know. Many blessings to you as you look ahead to your next chapter. It's never wrong to demand more when it's not right. Take care.

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  • Altman
    Savvy May 2022
    Altman ·
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    Thanks. You’d think as a womens advocate (his mom) she’d understand that no, means NO 🙄
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Honestly, where was your FI in all of this? You need to have a united front against his Mom. Otherwise you have a FI problem and you're in for a lifetime of this. All that to say, I'm sorry that happened.

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  • Altman
    Savvy May 2022
    Altman ·
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    What’s FI?
    If you’re asking where my fiancé was, it’s stated in the post. He said he stood up for our/my wishes and not only did his mom not care, his dad then went in on him and added to the stress. His mom had he nerve to say she’s embarrassed bc she has to call ppl and tell them the wedding is off.
    Apparently his mother is always an over-stepper when it comes to events … I was warned about her and I’ll be reminded of it every chance he gets it’s seems
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Sorry, Yes FI is Fiance. Sorry I got confused at your third paragraph. I wasn't sure if you were talking about your FI or his dad at that point.

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  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    I am so sorry you are going through this! That sounds horrible for you and your fiancé (but especially for you since he was taking his stress out on you, too). Be kind to yourself as you grieve. I had a really hard time when I delayed my wedding date and I didn't have nearly the emotional upheaval that you are describing.
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  • Altman
    Savvy May 2022
    Altman ·
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    Thank you Grace 😔🥰
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  • Altman
    Savvy May 2022
    Altman ·
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    Oh ok. Sry
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  • E
    Rockstar August 2023
    Elly Online ·
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    My heart breaks for you, but I also applaud the astronomic amount of strength you have.


    I wouldn't view it as, "You almost made it": You dodged the firing squad.
    Completely unacceptable that your fiancé buckled under pressure and began belittling you rather than sit down and have a very serious talk. Unfortunately, it sounds like a case of family abuse perpetuating itself.
    And while the dress and veil are expensive, divorce is even more costly on multiple levels.
    You deserve so much better. And while the grieving process may have you second guessing your decision, I will pray and clap you on.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Can you elope???? You got the dress! 😘
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  • Sydney
    Dedicated October 2021
    Sydney ·
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    I’m confused - so is it just the wedding canceled and you still plan to marry your fiancé or did you break up too? Sorry you are going through all of this.
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  • Fiona
    Super May 2024
    Fiona ·
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    Well done you. It can't have been easy to call off the wedding and to go through this. I'm wondering if his mother's interference is why both of her sons have been married before and are getting married again? It's not worth your sanity and your self-worth to plummet and to become so worn down over time that you become a shell of your former self. I wish you all the best for the future.

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  • Amanda
    Devoted April 2022
    Amanda ·
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    I am so so sorry about how it all went down for you. It's hard having others try to control your wedding day and nitpick everything. I hope for better things for you.

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  • Lafemme
    Just Said Yes October 2022
    Lafemme ·
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    Ugh I am so sorry you had to go through this- sometimes being engaged is what it takes to see a lot of red flags flare up. My ex fiancé was all of a sudden saying he was going to stay home and stop working and that he wanted to live with his parents and it’s like what!??? It feels embarrassing and all that but you know what? Better things are on the horizon. You should take your dress out for a cool photo shoot- be proud of staying true and sticking up for yourself!
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  • Altman
    Savvy May 2022
    Altman ·
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    Haha thanks. He is a good man, he just needs therapy (as most of us do; me included). And to make healthy boundaries with his mother. Maybe if we decide to move forward with a wedding in the future, we’ll have to purchase a venue instead of using the “free” family land. That way they can’t throw that the venue is “free” in his face.
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  • Altman
    Savvy May 2022
    Altman ·
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    TY for your support and kind words 🥰
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  • Altman
    Savvy May 2022
    Altman ·
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    It may have a tad to do with it.. From my understanding, his younger brother’s wife was a THOT and they all told him not to marry her but ppl are gonna do what they want to do. He had to learn the hard way and now won’t get married ever again bc of it.
    Thank you for the kind words and well wishes.
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  • Altman
    Savvy May 2022
    Altman ·
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    At first it was all of the above 🤣🤣 We’re working through it now
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  • Kristen
    Expert October 2021
    Kristen ·
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    That's my question, too! I'm very confused.

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  • Steph
    Dedicated May 2022
    Steph ·
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    OH NOOO! I cannot believe after being so close you threw in the towel. My MIL tried to pull that on me… asked me to give her 10 invitations for her friends and I said ABSOLUTELY NOT. She then tried to throw the fact that my FH sister in law gave her 20 invitations for friends and I just laughed and said “that’s because y’all paid for their wedding and she doesn’t know any of the family to invite them herself”. Needless to say I’m no longer the favorite daughter in law (haha) but it needed to be said. If other people aren’t paying for your wedding, they shouldn’t feel entitled to invite anyone. Period. I’m so sorry you have to go through this and I believe that you guys shouldn’t give up just because of other people. It’s YOUR lives together, not your parents, his parents and yours. I hope you guys work it out and do it big!
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