Jessica
Dedicated August 2019

Cancel wedding

Jessica, on June 5, 2019 at 6:16 PM Posted in Planning 0 9
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Has anyone ever had to cancel their wedding? I realize this is SUPER uncommon, so not many can relate. Due to military circumstances, we are 3 months out and everyone is in a panic that my fiancé’s leave will not be approved for Labor Day weekend because of his training. He is in Texas, our wedding is in Virginia. He is offering no opinion because it’s all dependent on when his training date for the class starts and if they feel like being nice and it letting him go. My stomach is in all kinds of knots. The vendors in Virginia basically told us they’d help us out if we canceled by Friday but we won’t know anything by then. And our rsvps are starting to come back. Half our guest list is traveling for it. I’ve hit a wall I genuinely don’t know where to turn next. I just feel so anxious and little depressed now.

9 Comments

  • Hermione
    Devoted February 2020
    Hermione ·
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    What is his exact training situation.... Is he an older military where he has been in a hot min or is he brand new? Active or reserve? Because he really may be at their mercy on this.

    Here is the truth with a military wedding and even a military marriage. Sometimes, the military will wreak your best plans and you will have to roll with it. There is nothing you can do. It's like the bride that gets told they have a hurricane dead set on their venue or other things that wreak weddings.

    I would try to reschedule and either push it forward or backward to a date more comfortable.
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  • Victoria
    Savvy June 2020
    Victoria ·
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    I agree with the above comment. I would imagine that he had put in the leave as soon as you guys locked in the venue. Ensure he talks with his commander, 1SG, and even CSM if he has to. Unless they are deploying they should be able to work with him. Worst case scenario, you can have the command write a letter for you to send to the vendors to see if they can shift. I’d imagine that would be a bigger pain for everyone though. Good luck!
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  • Jessica
    Dedicated August 2019
    Jessica ·
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    He is in his 7th year active and he’s an NCO but he’s starting selection for a spec ops program. He ran it by the highest ranked enlisted guy and he said there’s a possibility it’ll get approved given the circumstances and it’s case by case, but rules are rules so no promises. They are FAIRLY understanding, however I’ve been a military spouse for four years so sadly I know they tend to not care. The training just landed at a terrible time. Thanks for your input girl!
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  • Jessica
    Dedicated August 2019
    Jessica ·
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    So basically we booked the venue last year not realizing he’d be in training because there’s really no way to know. That’s also why we picked Labor Day weekend. They are not allowing him to put in for the leave until 30 days prior to the actual date it’s needed for. So basically we’re stuck until then wondering what they’re going to do. It’s case by case on whether they approve it or not, it’s just hard to tell. Thank you!
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  • thisismrsb
    Expert June 2019
    thisismrsb ·
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    That sucks and I'm sorry! I hope it works out in your favor.
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  • Anna
    Rockstar June 2020
    Anna ·
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    Oh so sorrySmiley sad sending positive vibes and hugs your way. So sorry you are in limbo...not knowing, is the worst part.

    Hang in there. I'm hoping it works out for you! 🤞🤞🤞❤
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  • M
    November 2019
    Mrs. ·
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    I will include y'all in my prayer list for those who are struggling! And for his deployment, as well.

    One thing you should do, immediately, is let your guests know the predicament. Emailing is best, to everyone you can, since it will be in writing, and can be sent en masse. (And include a 'please verify you got this information.' Keep a list of wedding guests/emails as a chart and check it off when each replies, then you have email verified, and you can delete responses right away, plus you have emails verified, and you know if there are some you may need to call if they didn't see the email. Everyone does NOT look at email every day! But, Do NOT just put this information on your 'wedding website', as many people will not go back to look at that, and you need to know people got the message. You should note on your wedding site, if you have one, that they should expect some information coming from you via email, text or call about some possible changes.

    Those who are traveling may want to wait to book if things are not flexible-although being a holiday weekend, some people may prefer to take a chance.

    Southwest Airlines gives a credit for cancelled flights, to be used within a year of original booking, or those using other airlines may prefer the option of paying higher flight fees to have cancellation options. This is not typically a trip insurance covered incident. [FYI: Southwest Airlines has a really good flight deals through today, June 6, 2019.]

    Although many hotels have cheaper prepaid no cancel deals, people may want the option of making sure that there is a no fee cancellation policy for where they are booking, even if it costs a bit more per night.

    Make sure you have an email contact for all you can, and a list of texting phone numbers or calling numbers to also put the information out as soon as it is verified as quickly as possible. (Confirmed, cancelled, rescheduled.) And you can have the three versions pre-written on your "save drafts" so it'll be easy to get back to everyone again. You might also enlist some friends or family to split up the phone texts or calls for those you can't contact by email.

    If these people are close enough to you that you want them to be at your wedding, and they want to be there as well, they will be understanding.

    So, these are my suggestions for feeling a bit more in control... it is something you can do, and as you've noted, the rest is out of your hands, so you'll have to go with the flow, but hopefully, breathing a bit more easily, since you've done all you can. Good luck.

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  • Pattie
    Devoted June 2020
    Pattie ·
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    Yikes!!! I am sorry that you are in waiting limbo. Nothing is worse than having to be waiting on others and being out of control. Wish you the best, hope it all works out in your favor. When will they notify you by?

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  • Jessica
    Dedicated August 2019
    Jessica ·
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    Thank you ladies! This is honestly like the toughest decision I’ve had to make, because I’ve invested so much time and effort into this wedding. The vendors were going to give us until tomorrow to decide to pull out, we should know his training date by the end of the month. So we’re hoping they give us just a few more weeks to decide. The leave rule for his program is now 14 days so we’re working with very specific dates or them making an exception for him. Fingers crossed everything goes in our favor! Only time will tell
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