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Beginner September 2016

Cancel the wedding and elope? SOO TORN!

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Ashley, on December 11, 2015 at 12:32 PM

Posted in Planning 24

So my fiancé and I have been together for over 5 years and got engaged in June! I am so excited to be marrying him in Sept 2016 and started planning immediately! The venue is booked and a deposit has been put down! Well I just finished school and got a pretty decent job and FI was supposed to graduate this month, well long story short the school screwed him and he has to go one more semester. His job can't promote him until he's completely done with school, so the raise we were relying on just isn't coming until May. And I make no where near what he would have been making with that promotion. We are trying to move out before the wedding and now going through our finances I don't know how we will move out and have a wedding. I don't want to push the wedding back but if we elope and save money I feel my whole family parents, aunts, uncles, cousins will be upset because we are all so close. I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be helpful!

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24 Comments

Champion October 2009
2d Bride · on December 12, 2015 at 4:19 AM
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The choices are not between eloping and having a wedding; they are how large a wedding to have. (An elopement is still a wedding, after all.) You could, for example, have a wedding that includes your immediate family, but not aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. That would cut way down on the cost, while still including those closest to you.

And my own experience is that you offend fewer people if you have a really small wedding than if you have a larger one. If you say, "I'm sorry, but we couldn't afford a large wedding and made it immediate family only," people will understand. If you say, "We invited 300 people, and you still didn't make the cut," you're more likely to hurt people's feelings.
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Savvy May 2017
Jordan Elizabeth · on December 14, 2015 at 7:56 PM
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Maybe you could ask for help for paying for it.
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VIP July 2016
Alicia · on December 14, 2015 at 8:28 PM
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@Jordan, no.

Everyone else has some solid advice! I would really sit down and crunch numbers see what you'd lose.
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Dedicated December 2016
Ashley · on December 20, 2015 at 11:24 PM
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It doesnt sound like an ideal situation, but maybe waiting to move and being able to save more money would be the best option. Ultimately you have to decide if a wedding is important to the both of you? Would you both be happy if you eloped? You guys have to start off the rest of your lives in your own fashion.
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