Can you uninvite guest?

You can’t. The only thing you could do without being very very rude is to cancel your wedding and have a family only ceremony and reception.

You shouldn’t cut down on the list if you already send save the dates. I think maybe is best to postpone the wedding to a later time when you’re able to get more money or you can cut down the list by a lot by doing a small intimate wedding. You’ll need to call everyone and explain.

My friend had an issue similar to this and she gave out three types of invites. Full (ceremony and reception), Reception, drink and dancing, and Drinks and Dancing. Essentially, she invited people who she wanted to kick off the list to drinks and dancing (from 7 to 11:30, an hour after dinner). Unfortunately, the wedding was running late so the Drinks and Dancing people showed up right in the middle of dinner and were .... irked. Had to either wait out in the hall, or kill time and drive around.

I agree. Since save the dates have already gone out you’re kinda stuck. Canceling and doing a very very small wedding is really the only way to cit the guest list without completely.violating etiquette

No, you can’t.

View Quoted Comment Honestly this is the only option I can think of that would be worse than uninviting people.

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I am not saying it's the right thing to do. I am saying, similar situation and someone did it this way. Everyone can tell the OP no, no, no but no one else is giving her options so something she clearly wants to do. So I shared the story. It might not be the best option, might be tacky, might even be downright crappy, but its an option outside of no, just invite the people you ideally want to cut.

I don't wanna be the bad guy but don't send an invite and I'm not saying this is cool but I'm just trying to help the bride out we don't know if they don't want to push they're wedding back. I wouldn't send them an invitation but instead write a letter explaining the situation instead you can even say the venue recently changed how many guest can be at our event and we are inviting close family and bridal party first if we get any room we will notify you when it changes. And once again not trying to be the bad guy just a suggestion

View Quoted Comment I agree this is probably the worst option... and this will ruin a lot of friendships.

Whoooaaaaa that’s a hard one. In my humble opinion I think you maybe locked in to those you sent a save the date to.

You don't. Figure out other places to cut or figure out other ways to save, or cancel the current wedding and plan something else, smaller, on a different day.

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Don't lie to your guests.

View Quoted Comment I don't but it will be unrealistic to say some people don't but I get ya

View Quoted Comment I agree with this, though perhaps this may work? Another option is to cut from other areas, such as flowers and décor. If you have an "extra" such as a dessert table or an extravagant cocktail hour food selection, maybe you can cut it down to a cheese, cracker, fresh fruit and veggie sampler for cocktail hour or just one dessert option instead of a bunch? If you could make the numbers work, I would start trimming a bit here and there and see if that will help you before postponing the wedding all together. There are ways to make this work, though I strongly advise to not disinvite people. A lot of times people book their travel arrangements and hotel rooms based on a STD, so please keep that in mind as well.

I wouldn’t get offended if a friend or far family member called to and tells me plans for the wedding has change and it won’t longer be an extravaganza wedding instead it would be a small intimate wedding. I don’t worry much about ettique because honestly ettique doesn’t pay the bills and you have to be realistic. If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it. I say do what’s best for you. Maybe cutting on some other aspects might help but everyone knows to cut the budget you cut the guest count. Make a decision and you don’t need to use the word cancel. That scares me. Just apologize and change on plans. Is not the right thing to do but what else can you do?
Now I do recommend you keep it small. Closets family and friends not a don’t go from 150 to 100 because you might hurt a lot of feelings.
Jush my opinion.

View Quoted Comment This doesn’t seem like a bad idea!

View Quoted Comment This is exactly where I was getting at but these boards girls be so rough like if things don't change or come up it's life and although wedding etiquette does exist why go into debt with your new husband for it

View Quoted Comment Thank you and as said before I wasn't trying to be rude or nothing but these guest are not paying for anything. It's the save the dates not invitations so in my eyes they haven't even been formally invited just prompted to save the date don't go into debt trying to please people they will understand if they love you. Besides it's yall day every one forgets about that yes you are hosting a party but ultimately it's yall day and money. I'm just honest and some people don't like my bluntness but this is real life not everyone is rich. And every bride has a right to celebrate their wedding on their budget. Why suffer because of wedding etiquette this is real life. Good luck doll!

View Quoted Comment The WW can be a like tough in regards to wedding ettique but the truth is life isn’t black and white and things happen that makes us shift this around. You can do whatever you want. People will talk regardless so do you!

How many people are you looking to cut? Is it 5-10? Or is it a higher number that changes the feel of the wedding? If you want to make it significantly smaller, I would suggest "cancelling" the wedding you've sent the STDs for, call everyone and explain and then throw a completely different style of event with a much reduced guest list. Another option that wouldn't involve totally changing your plans would be to cut back on non-essential items to save money, like the person suggested. Things that don't affect guest experience like flowers etc.

I understand the hardship you are facing here and I know it's not black and white but please consider that etiquette is in place for a reason. It's true that etiquette doesn't "pay the bills" but it does foster positive relationships which can affect what people are willing to do for you in the future and how they feel/think about you and your future husband. I sometimes wonder if people who say "forget etiquette, no one who loves you will care anyway" are primarily younger and have had less wedding and event experiences... I'm not old by any means, but I have had a few experiences with my friends getting married where etiquette has not been followed and guests, or even myself specifically, have been treated rudely. I may not say it to these friends, but I would be lying to say that it didn't color the way that I feel about these people. People do remember if they are treated poorly (ie. inviting some people after dinner). Just consider that as you make your choices.

There are ways to stay within etiquette (which believe it or not is there for a reason) and adjust to your new life experiences. It's not always the easy or the perfect way but the RIGHT thing to do in any life situation is rarely the easiest or most comfortable thing to do.