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Dedicated September 2018

Can you plan your own Bach party?

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Whippppss, on December 27, 2017 at 6:45 PM

OK here's my situation. Not really sure what's right as far as etiquette goes. MOH is in the military and will be deployed during entire duration of my engagement, Her deployment should end a month before my wedding takes place. Because of this,I have no expectation of her planning a bachelorette party or a wedding shower for me. I just don't think it's right for her to have to come back after not seeing her family for so long and then plan a trip and a party for me.

So would it be weird if I planned my own bachelorette party? Or should MOH or I ask the other two bridesmaids to take over these responsibilities.

Or do I just do nothing and hope everything works out?

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31 Comments

Champion November 2054
Jacks · on December 28, 2017 at 1:00 AM
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^^^all of that^^^ Emily Post would have no idea about bachelorettes. She would have said however, that it's rude to throw a party in your own honour.
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Expert June 2018
Bride2B · on December 28, 2017 at 10:43 AM
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I guess i really didn't think that far. If i have like 20 people who come to hang out then maybe not, but otherwise I could buy their drink. I mean literally this will just be casually walking around hanging out on Bourbon Street, which most of my guests have never been to. I just wanted an opportunity to get to hang out with friends, especially non-wedding party friends, because I know the rest of the weekend will be crazy.
FH I think wants to do more of a hang out in a cigar bar type of party. Again, not sure if he only wants a couple people, or if he's going to have an open invite for all his guests to hang out.
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Devoted June 2018
OliviaP · on December 28, 2017 at 10:52 AM
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I sure do - no, you do not plan parties in your honor.

Anyone can plan a bachelorette or shower for you. MOB/MOG is dicey, but that ettiquette is changing slightly, as most couples are living on their own before marriage. I'm not having a traditional bridal party. My dear friend and sisters are still hosting both for me. They're doing it because they care about me, not because they feel obligated.
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Dedicated September 2018
Whippppss · on December 28, 2017 at 2:55 PM
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Ok, so disregard the wedding shower. I never had any intention to throw that for me.

The bachelorette party though, I assumed that I’d be paying for my way and everything that came along with the trip regardless...

With that said, Does that that change anything?

Would still be improper to say “Hey ladies, for my last hoorah I’d like to go to “X”. If you’d like to come with, let me know and we’ll work out the dates and details!”
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Dedicated September 2018
Whippppss · on December 28, 2017 at 3:00 PM
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To add, this wouldn’t be a traditional Bach party that is “ALL about me”...like with a crown and sash or whatever else normal goes on during these things. I really just want to go on a girls hiking trip to Denver with my friends lol. I’m just using “bachelorette party” as a excuse for trip...
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Master September 2018
Jennifer · on December 28, 2017 at 3:04 PM
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Plan a girls trip with your friends & have a blast!
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Beginner September 2019
Lee · on December 28, 2017 at 11:02 PM
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The responses i read r killing me. So ok ur moh is in the military, she is protecting all of our asses. Ane bacause of that u cant have a bach?!?!?!?
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