can you invite someone to your bachelorette party if she is not invited to your wedding?

Not sure what the "Proper" etiquette is, but personally, I say sure. They already know you're getting married, and probably figured out they're not getting an invite. I'd make sure they understand why first before they get an invite. If I were invited to a bachelorette party and not invited to the wedding, I would probably still go and not have hard feelings about it.

You really shouldn't... the ladies who go to your bach party will be spending money to make that party happen. Its not really fair that they do that and then don't get to attend your wedding.

I think an exception to this would be if you were having a very small, family only wedding.

I think it's kinda rude...but thats just me. i guess it depends on the relationship you have with that person.

I would not do that! My DH invited a guy to the the bachelor party and then when they were wasted my DH invited him to the wedding...well 3 days before the wedding this guy calls the Best Man to find out what was going on and that he never received his invitation. Since a few people backed out it was fine so we came up with some story like it got lost in the mail or something. It all worked out but it was a mess!

Etiquette states no. Only those invited to the wedding should be invited to the Bachlorette Party as well as the Bridal Shower.

I probably wouldn't and I have never been invited to a bach party where I was invited to the wedding and honestly I don't know how I would feel. I think on one hand I'd be ok not going to the wedding but on the other if I was with a bunch of other people who were going I would sort of wonder why I didn't get an invite? Now if your wedding and reception is only family and your closest of friends I could probably understand that.

No it would be rude and they should not be invited to wedding showers either. Its like I want you to gift me but you are not on my A list. It would probably hurt some feelings. I am sure you do not want to hurt anyone feelings so it would probably be best not to do this.

Probably not- it's not proper etiquette...unless they see it as a girls' night out anyway...and that's what you guys regularly do..go out and party. But it's up to you. I have seen it, although very rarely!

I would not do it because I know a lot of people who get offended easily.

@JJ ... I totally see what you mean... I would rather not call it a bachelorette party and leave it as a "girls' night out".... but what would ppl call the fun party before you wedding? a bachelorette party...so no matter what I call it... they would see it that way..lol...and then everything that you and everyone else said about would apply.. it would be awkward

thanks for your input ladies

I was invited to a bachelorette party and was not invited to the wedding. I thought nothing of it... I knew that the bride didn't have it in her budget to invite friends and was glad to enjoy the bachelorette party with her. Ended up getting to go to the wedding last minute anyway, but I don't think it's bad etiquette.

I like what this person said:

What is correct and what is expected aren’t often the same thing, where wedding etiquette is concerned. The Wedding Industry often promotes "rules" that Emily Post or Miss Manners would never endorse. Generally these phony "rules" steer both guests and hosts toward those options which will cost the most.

Good grief, you’re not made of money. If you have to invite everyone to every event, then that means there are a lot people you can’t include at all. There’s nothing incorrect about a big whopper of a Girls’ Night Out followed by a small dignified wedding.

The "same guest list for every party" is one of these phony rules, purely an invention of The Wedding Industry. If you don’t already know this, then throw down Modern Bride and get Miss Manners’ Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding . Yes, a catalogue full of dreams is lot more fun than a book of rules. ... (cont.)

(cont.)But Miss Manners will save you tons of money, while that catalogue was craftily designed to take your money away. Who ya gonna trust?

Each party is a seperate event and has its own seperate guest list. Not that long ago it was considered rude to "mine the guest list" for the wedding in order to round up enough people for a shower. Traditionally, a shower was more like a surprise party organized by people NOT involved in the wedding in any way. For example the bride’s bowling league or her neighbors might show good will by organizing a shower precisely because they are NOT included in the wedding (cont.)

(cont.) Some people will expect differently, and be offended if invited to an auxillary party but not invited to the main event. I suggest you do the correct thing by thoroughly disconnect the events from each other — different hosts, different styles. Make sure people know the wedding invitations have already been sent before anyone does invites to any extra parties. That way if someone is in a snit about not being invited to the wedding, they can either get over it or die mad. And accept or decline the invitation accordingly.

I say to simply forget "The Shower" in the modern Wedding Industry sense of the term. When the wedding party and bride are involved in engineering an event with the theme of shaking down the guests for an extra gift, that is a party that shouldn’t happen. Why spend money and effort on an event that creates so many opportunities for families and wedding party members to feud? What is the gain? (cont.)

(cont.) eople just spend less on the wedding gift. Besides, being in your own shower doesn’t just look greedy, it IS greedy. Be honest with yourself.

With a hen night, it depends on who is doing the inviting, meaning who is paying the bill. Extra parties are hosted by whoever volunteers to do the work and pay the bills, same as a shower. The host is in control of the guest list, same as a shower.

found here: http://www.weddingquestions.net/if-you-invite-people-to-the-bridal-showersbachelorette-parties-are-you-expected-to-invite-them-to-wedding-2.htm

Here is another one:

http://forums.weddingchannel.com/Sites/weddingchannel/Pages/main.aspx/general-wedding-planning-topics_general-wedding-etiquette_miss-manners?MsdVisit=1

Thanks heavnsnt... that was def a nice read and something to "put in my pipe and smoke" ...

Thanks heavnsnt128 for posting this.

No problem I think that people get it in their mind what etiquette is and isn't when they don't really know. A lot of etiquette that people "know" comes from feelings that they think is right or wrong. I try to keep my own personal feelings out of it and see what is the "norm". If you want to invite close friends to the bachelorette party, then do it. They are enjoying the evening out with you and you deserve to be surrounded by your friends I think the bachelorette party and the wedding are totally different entities and should be kept that way. They aren't really related in any way except that it's your "last" night out as a single woman before you get married.

@heavnsnt128 I can't get the links to work though...

Weird. I'll try finding them again since I already closed them. Give me a minute.