Can you host your own Bridal Shower?

Even though ettiquette says not too, I think everyones circumstances are different and if it means that if you dont do it you wont get one.... why deprive yourself. . Good Luck!

You most certainly can! I'm throwing my own and all of my family lives close including my MOH and bridesmaids. My mother and I are throwing mine for reasons other than yours but there is NO reason you don't deserve your special day!

Well, it's not really traditional to throw a baby shower for a second or later child (you said "newest addition" which makes me think you have a child already?) so I wouldn't use that as an indication that no one will throw you a bridal shower. It's still early, and you really shouldn't throw a shower for yourself. No matter what your intentions are, it comes off like you are greedy for gifts. What about your other bridesmaids, do they live near you? They may be planning one already and you just don't know it!

My mom and I did mine small and very fun!

I'm not even getting a shower ha! My Mom's deceased, and my family hasn't done anything for this wedding at all...this is my second wedding, the first one was bk in 98..

We do need things but I guess we are going to just get them ourselves..

No. Sorry. The point of a shower is to "shower" the couple/bride with gifts, it's going to look gift-grabby if you throw yourself one, even if you say "no gifts."

You can have a "meet the baby!" BBQ or organize a girls' night or spa day if you want to just celebrate and hang out with people. Or have a "Woo hoo we set the date!" house party. Just don't call it a shower.

The rules of ettiquette say you shouldn't do it. Actually, what you have proposed or requested regarding gifts for your wedding has nothing to do with whether or not you should have a bridal shower. Where I come from making those suggestions regarding wedding gifts is bad manners because "gifts" are the pink elephants of weddings. Some can see them in a room, but noone should talk about it. However, the bottomline is, you do what you want to do because you know your situation better than anyone.

If you would like to host a get together that you don't call a "Shower", go for it. A nice BBQ, tea or just drinks to spend some Q time with friends is never bad manners.

Thanks ladies! Allot to think about..

"pink elephant in the room" ?? Being this not a first wedding for either us and we don't need anything more to our house as we are settled in now, we thought the gift idea would help all. I had no idea it was bad manners to ask for no gifts but rather have donate to an organization or to a family vacation.

I always thought the Bridal shower was to bring everyone together to celebrate the wedding soon to come, like the pre-bacheloret party with funny games and frilly cake. But the BBQ idea is awesome!

Yes, have a BBQ or an engagement party that is to celebrate your upcoming wedding so that everyone can meet each other.

A Bridal shower is to "Shower" the bride with gifts. If you are not getting/desiring gifts, then don't call it a "shower."

~ happy planning ~

I dont see anything wrong with this! I think rules regarding what you can/cant do for your wedding are rediculous! Go for it!

It sounds like you have lovely intentions with the donation thing but actually it's considered bad etiquette to mention gifts at all. Even "no gifts please" gives people the impression you are thinking about gifts.

It's an odd social dance, but it is what it is.

Hosted by : Family and bridal party

Party given by: Family at bride's home. Something like that.

Don't put a name. No one will ever know who paid for the whole thing.

Well - your OOT family could still help "host" it in a way. One of my BMs was OOT and mailed the invitations and tracked RSVPs. Although somebody local really does need to be onsite to physically greet people and be in charge of the thing. It would be really weird if you were the one to say, "Okay, time for...me....to open the gifts!"

I just wouldn't lie to people and tell them your family and bridal party are throwing this party if in fact they didn't offer and you're doing it on your own. That would seem quite strange.

Usually I'm the one who says its your wedding and you should do what youhe want, but in this case, if this were me, I wouldn't be having a shower. If no one throws me one, I won't have one. Looks very greedy in my opinion.

Ultimately you can do what you want, but I find it a bit narcissistic when anyone throws a party for themselves for ANY reason where gifts are normally expected, to include a bridal shower....that's just my opinion though.

Thank you all!

Think we will just go for a family BBQ get-to-know/meet-everyone type thing and just not do the other. No matter how we go about it, it still seems a greedy narcissistic thing going the other route... so thank you everyone for saving me!

If you throw it yourself I would call it an engagement party that way you can do it yourself but I would get someone else to host it. Like I wouldn't as the bride be up moving things along trying to get everyone to play games and all of that. IMO

Kind of have to agree it can seem a little narcissistic. Your wedding is your "special day" that you host. Everything else is optional stuff that other people can choose to give you.

Do whatever you want! Ignore the rules! You obviously don't have bad manners, or you wouldn't have asked this question to begin with ;-). Every bride deserves a shower. This is not just a special day, but a special time period involving the wedding planning, the parties leading up to it, and just the celebration of your love. Say you host a co-bridal shower. In other words, for you as a couple, not just the bride. You want to have your friends over for drinks and snacks and games. Tell them gifts are not being requested, but if they like, tell them where you would like donations to go. Not one of your friends or family members will think of you as being narcissistic or selfish or anything. If they do, that's their own problem lol. Because each person knows they would want a shower too! And each person should agree that you deserve one. I also feel that sometimes people might not step up to host one for you because they might assume that someone else is doing it. Or they might not feel as if it is their place. So, again, screw the rules. Play your own games. Celebrate your love.