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Sandra
Devoted September 2021

Can we talk about babies? 🙃

Sandra, on March 22, 2021 at 12:00 PM

Posted in Family and Relationships 27

This is sort of a babies + wedding postponement combo topic. I’m 31 and my fiancé is 36. Our wedding is scheduled for this September in Spain but we are now strongly leaning towards using our backup date of June 2022 instead. There are many benefits to doing so (less restrictions, less stress,...

This is sort of a babies + wedding postponement combo topic. I’m 31 and my fiancé is 36. Our wedding is scheduled for this September in Spain but we are now strongly leaning towards using our backup date of June 2022 instead. There are many benefits to doing so (less restrictions, less stress, safer, better guest experience, etc.) However we really wanted to try to start a family right after the wedding, as we aren’t as young after all. So to me, one major con of postponing the wedding is essentially also pushing back pregnancy a year so at least.


Has anyone else been faced with this sort of pressure? Here I am worrying I won’t have my first kid until 33 or 34 because we have to postpone the wedding and maybe I need someone to tell me that’s a silly thing to worry about lol. 😩 Was this a factor for anyone else’s postponement or lack there of? Is this my social clock just being extra?


27 Comments

  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    I'm 37.

    We didn't get married until I was 36.

    We are working on building our family, now.

    The timeline you are feeling is imposed by society, not biology. Please, relax. (There was a whole 'nother thread on here where someone was basically convinced that she'd all but die at 30 and never ever get pregnant. Which... if your doctor is telling you that, you need a new doctor.)

    Also, keep in mind, it can take time to get pregnant. And it is *hard* on your body. And then, once you have a newborn, what trying to plan with that all-consuming distraction... or.. you could still be pregnant.

    It really depends on if the baby or the wedding is more important to you.

    But the difference between being 32 or 33 is... negligible.

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  • Sandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Sandra ·
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    That’s very true, you can have a big celebration whenever! My cousin is 38 and pregnant with her first. I’m so excited for her and it helps remind me that there’s no “should” with all this! Whatever feels right. 🙂
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  • Sandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Sandra ·
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    Hm I asked my normal doctor and she said she doesn’t do fertility testing apparently, time to start researching who does haha. Good luck with your process, I hope it all works out. ❤️
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  • Sandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Sandra ·
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    I don’t have any moral opposition to trying before we are married, but trying to time it out to where I’m neither pregnant nor nursing at the time of the wedding seems tricky from what I’m learning lol.
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  • Sandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Sandra ·
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    Ahh this was so encouraging to read thank you! I feel the same way and you’re right, maybe in retrospect I’ll be glad for the extra time to get ready! ❤️
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  • Sandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Sandra ·
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    Thank you for the much needed perspective! Thankfully my doctor has said no such thing lol. Though she doesn’t do any fertility testing and I’d really like to get the full picture ahead of time so I need to look into that. My cousin is 38 and pregnant with her first, so yes I agree it’s important to chill out on the social clock stuff. Easy to forget sometimes though. Good luck with everything! 😊
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  • Scandalousrandallous
    Devoted July 2023
    Scandalousrandallous ·
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    See if you can get a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist to get an in-depth hormone panel done and an obgyn to do an ultrasound to look for any anatomical abnormalities

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