Can we talk about babies? 🙃

I think this depends on how important it is to you to have to e wedding before the baby. If getting married first is a dealbreaker, you can totally do that without the big wedding and proceed with your timeline and wait to see what biology has in store for you. Have you had tests, etc. to know if you’re expected to have any trouble conceiving? These aren’t fun things to think about but most people take a little bit of trying to get pregnant. Whatever timelines and steps are most important to you are what matters most.

When we were wedding planning FH wanted to try for another baby. I said absolutely not. Its either a baby or a wedding. I was not willing to be pregnant at our wedding. Then the wedding got postponed and I felt like ughhh wasted time! I felt pressured not because of my age but because of the age gap between my kids. I didn’t want a huge gap. If we hadn’t planned the wedding my kids would have been about 4 years apart.
So we postponed from April to October. In The summer of last year theres no way that the wedding was gona happen so we postponed until 2021. I got off my birth control in May and we started trying for a baby.

Im pregnant now (6mo of trying) Baby is due in July. We eloped but our Wedding celebration is in October. I hope I will fit in my dress (planning on alternatives if it doesn’t) but I wasn’t willing to wait any longer for a baby. My kids will be 6years apart now.
U have to think what’s priority and what kind of timeline you want to have. Like pp said if its important to be married first, you can elope, have ur baby and postpone the wedding until after u have baby. Or you can wait. 33 isnt old to have kids! Just keep that in mind too.

What is wrong with having your first kid at 33?

How many kids do you want? We aren't postponing specifically because we want a big family and know that waiting longer will limit how many kids we can have

I'd talk to your OB to get a clearer picture of your personal health (and your FH's personal health) if you have concerns about your timeline conceiving. It's always best to consult your doctor!

Can you get married legally this September and push the reception back into early 2023? Theres also nothing wrong with being pregnant or having a baby at your reception. Unfortunately Covid has put these kinda of setbacks in place but things like that can't be pushed off for a wedding reception. Also, not to be negative but getting pregnant doesnt happen quickly or easily for everyone and pushing it off could make that potential situation worse

We have a similar situation, my fiancé and I were the same ages as you and your FH when we first postponed our wedding. A couple months ago I started getting nervous about the rescheduled Oct 2021 date and considered postponing again. Talking with friends/family we decided that October this year is on, regardless of what that brings. The longer we stretch this out the less excited everyone (us too!) is about the big day and the crazier it seems to postpone kids/life changes because of a 1-day celebration. Having a baby before the wedding isn’t for us, and I didn’t want the stress of waiting/not knowing hanging over our heads that much longer. The age difference of half a year likely won’t have any significant impact on your fertility, so it really comes down to your priorities and headspace about the managing either option.
Maybe not the most comforting message, but hope that helps to know where others are coming from!

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Congratulations! I can imagine how frustrated you must've felt about postponing, though it seems like it all worked out in the end! I don't have any personal hang ups about having a baby before getting married but I really don't want to be pregnant at the wedding lol. Thank you for sharing, it's nice to know others have considered the same timeline dilemma!

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That is definitely first on my to do list. I have an appointment soon just to get a clearer picture. The phrase "best laid plans" comes to mind lol.

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I don't think anything is wrong with it, but I can't also deny some (self-imposed) pressure about wanting to get pregnant sooner than later. Sometimes it's hard to shake off that feeling that you're late, or "behind schedule."

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Oh that's a good point, though I was imagining not more than two! Still, I agree because I've read it only gets more difficult as time goes on.

View Quoted Comment Yes. That was my absolute No. I will NOT be pregnant at the wedding. Originally we had a 9mo engagement so theres no way we would have fit in a baby before the wedding, I would have definitely been pregnant at the wedding. Its hard to time things out. Took us 6mo to get pregnant (23yrs old w our first and just turned 30 with our 2nd). Being pregnant in the first trimester sucks for most not for everyone (no way I would enjoy the wedding) and further along with a baby belly, I would enjoy myself more but I just want to feel like a normal bride in a pretty wedding dress. We really tried to fit in having a baby in between our wedding postponement. I literally only have 2-2.5 months between baby & wedding. So im currently planning my baby shower in May, baptism in September and wedding in October. And not a lot of time to lose weight after baby. Crossing my fingers I wont gain too much weight and can lose SOME before the wedding + shapewear and still look good in my dress I bought.


Its tough, theres no right answer because theres lots of unknowns. Just outweigh pros & cons and if possible maybe change your summer 2022 date to fall 2022. Good luck!

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No I don't think that's negative at all, I think it's realistic. First things first I'll definitely meet with my doctor to get an idea. Assuming I'll get pregnant within a few months is not wise lol. I would prefer not to be pregnant at the reception, though not opposed to already have given birth. That's tricky to plan without knowing how long it would take. Covid really has shaken up this process for so many!

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No actually I find it very comforting to hear others have found themselves in similar situations! I agree, I prefer not to try beforehand, especially with the uncertainty of how long it may take to conceive. Plus, If the borders don't open in time I have choice but to postpone anyway haha.

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Oh yes that's next on my to do list for sure! I want to be as well-informed as possible moving forward, it can only help. Especially because if the borders do not open in time, postponing is my only option lol.

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Thank you! And good luck to you as well, you can do it! You're going to be wonder woman for sure, that's a lot!

I wish I was still so young ☺️ We had our civil ceremony on our original date 8.8.2020, but we are having the big reception and Catholic ceremony next month. A lot of people told us to start our family right away (which is what we wanted), but I didn’t want to be pregnant or nursing for the big events. We ultimately have waited on trying for a baby, but I’ll be 38 in July. It’s not a perfect scenario, but it’s the choice we made together. Even though we aren’t getting our dream wedding after all this time waiting, we decided no more postponing because we want a family. We know that if we feel like we missed out on our dream, we can plan for an anniversary party years down the road, but babies first!

I knew Iʻd have fertility issues so we did not wait to start trying.

Iʻd make an appointment to get a full work up and see what youʻre dealing with but Iʻm extremely bias as an infertile and say donʻt wait if itʻs important as you never know how long it could take.

One can always legally marry then try to conceive if you you're in a hurry. A wedding can happen anytime later

This is literally our situation. I'm 30 and fiancé is 37, no kids yet for either of us. We always planned to start trying after the wedding, which was originally June 2020. Got pushed back to June 2021, so I was still okay with it and not too worried, then we postponed AGAIN till 2022, to avoid any restrictions. A few months back I went through MAJOR baby fever and considered trying for a baby starting this spring. Then I realized I'd either be pregnant or have a small baby at our wedding, and then our day wouldn't be 100% OURS. I think a lot of it came from my biological clock being ready for one now, as that was the original plan. But we do plan on trying as soon as the honeymoon😂 But having a baby 1 or 2 years later than planned, isn't so bad!!! Plus it gives you more time to prepare and save some more for all those baby expenses!!