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VIP August 2015

Can i fire a bridesmaid? HELP!

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Leesha, on October 14, 2014 at 5:38 PM

Posted in Planning 26

I am having trouble with one of my bridesmaids. I understand we are all busy and all have our own lives, but everytime i txt/call/email/facebook to talk about wedding, or to see her, or just to talk in general she dosent reply.Its been 4-5 months of her only talking to me when she feels like it. She told me that her and her bf were going to get pregnant this october(which isnt happening anymore) and that she was worried about being in my wedding because she was going to be pregnant and she dosent feel its right timing..(LIKEWTF?).She was just in a wedding for a mutual friend, and for at least 6 months prior to our friends wedding all she did was bitch and complain about the bride and other bridesmaids, how much she hated them and how after the wedding she wouldn't hangout with them anymore....I dont know what to do... I dont want to 'fire' her.. but i dont want her to talk about me like she did with the other bride, and i hate how she isnt talking to me...

HELP! ????

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26 Comments

Master November 2014
Theresa Beale · on October 15, 2014 at 2:18 PM
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Val, on the web page. you see people's avatars not their names. We typically form attachments and remember details specific to the wedding by people's avatars (as user names aren't necessarily unique to one person). If doesn't have to be a picture of the person, just not the "generic" double rings.

We also do have a troll issue here and have found that trolls always use the double ring and depending on how many comments/posts created by the troll can have 1 or 2 stars. Given the issues with trolls, a lot of people will opt to not respond at all to trolls or will "call out" people they think are trolls.
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Expert February 2015
ChewBekka · on October 15, 2014 at 10:45 PM
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This stinks. I'm really sorry this is happening. My MOH was like this too so she is now just going to be a BM and I'll figure out a MOH later. Its so tough and I feel like there is always 1 in your bridal party that makes you struggle.
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Master December 2015
BunnyLove · on October 15, 2014 at 11:46 PM
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I have been a BM in 3 weddings where the bride was forced to ask a BM to step down. Alicia, I believe you are a bride that will have to do the same, however don't terminate her. Let her step down. Tell her you appreciate her support and understand that she may not have the time to commit and totally understand if she needs to step down/
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VIP May 2016
Annael25 · on October 16, 2014 at 12:04 AM
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I agree with Bunny. I would definitely talk to her and tell her you support her if she wishes to step down.

I started out with 6 bridesmaids and am down to 3. I am not a bridezella and don't ask a lot. One stepped down and two treated me horribly, The one BM was so nasty to me, there was no question she was out of the wedding when shit hit the fan; the other threw a fit when I tried to talk to her and told me I was a terrible person who only 'takes and never gives'.

Ugh.

Anyway, I digress... talk to her first before doing anything. Try to figure out what's going on with her before you make any decisions. Definitely give her the option to step down though.
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Dedicated June 2015
Levis · on October 16, 2014 at 3:01 AM
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Maybe she is in bad situation with your FH's brother,though,she is not in good manner,I suggest you just drop her!I am not willing any inharmonious people or things on my wedding!
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Expert June 2015
adilou · on October 16, 2014 at 7:57 AM
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I had a MOH, turned BM, who eventually just got placed as a wedding guest. I put so much pressure on myself and it was so stressful - i thought i was breaking this incredible friendship i used to have.. but that's what hit me - i used to have that relationship. once the wedding came around, she was so busy with her life and only responded when she wanted to, etc... it started getting to the point where i stopped reaching out to her - and surprise... she didn't reach out back to me. it was completely one sided.... i had an honest talk with her and she understood. It all worked out okay and we are still friends, well acquaintances now i guess. if it's causing stress now, it will only get worse once the wedding gets closer... more than likely, she will understand - she may even be relieved.
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