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Jessica
Dedicated September 2019

Budget/fh Drama

Jessica, on August 30, 2019 at 7:47 PM

Posted in Family and Relationships 25

I'm so utterly disappointed right now. I had agreed to let FH figure out the music with the understanding that we would just borrow the equipment from someone he knows. It's all he had to do, figure out the logistics, I'd handle the music selection. Months go by and still can't get ahold of the...

I'm so utterly disappointed right now. I had agreed to let FH figure out the music with the understanding that we would just borrow the equipment from someone he knows. It's all he had to do, figure out the logistics, I'd handle the music selection.

Months go by and still can't get ahold of the person who's supposed to be lending him the equipment. Three weeks until the wedding, and I realize if I keep waiting on him to figure it out we are not going to have ANY music. So yes, I became stressed, especially because I felt he wasn't taking my concerns seriously.

2 Weeks until the wedding and I'm pretty proud that I've stayed within budget. Yeah I would be stretching it with getting my nails done but still within budget. Still thinking I can at least reach out and rent the music equipment rather than hiring a DJ, but I still was looking at both options. Maybe finding a college student to handle the music or something cheaper.


Then fiance said he found a DJ...$250.00. I was doubtful, but average is about $300.00. Not a huge difference in price, totally believable, especially if they were out for the experience. I transferred the money to our joint account & fiance paid. He handled the transaction, I didn't get to see the contract, that was Tuesday.

Thursday I finally got to talk to the DJ over the phone. Very good experience. Very professional. This guy was a veteran (like, with the Department of Defense), but I also knew instantly he was a veteran in the industry as well. Over 12 years of experience, actually. There is no way this guy only cost $250.00.

I mentioned fiance how proud I was that we were actually going to make it without going over budget. Just the way he commented on it.. I knew something was up. So I dug deeper. He swore up & down that the DJ only cost $250.

I asked to see the bank account, he showed it to me and I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, except that the DJ had not pulled the payment yet. I asked to see the contract. He wouldn't let me see it on the computer.. but he showed me a screenshot. The contract was pretty much worthless. only showing who the parties were and the date and contact information.. It made me feel uneasy but I let it go.

Today I looked at our accounts. He pulled the rest of the money from the emergency savings. That's why I didn't notice it on Thursday because he didn't show me that one and I didn't check.

Total cost? $500.00. considering I still have other stuff to pay for, it definitely puts us over-budget by almost $300.00. Not including the cost of the mini-moon.

I'm disappointed that I went over-budget, disappointed that he overtly lied and tried to keep stuff from me, disappointed that he went and made a major financial decision for our wedding without consulting me and what pisses me off even more, is that he didn't sound the least bit contrite about it.

I'm so pissed, disappointed, and hurt I just want to cry. I realize $300 above budget is not that much in comparison. Some brides go thousands... but this was not his decision alone to make. I'm just not excited about this stupid wedding anymore. Right now I feel like he totally killed all excitement about that there was..

IDK. I'm probably over-reacting but I'm pretty sure that I was actually about to get an offer within budget from a high school friend that I had talked to about it previously. He had reached out and asked if there was any money left in the budget, he was just looking to make something extra this weekend and he knew what my budget was from the beginning.

I don't know..I'm just REALLY sad right now. Enough to not even want the wedding at the moment.


25 Comments

  • Jessica
    Dedicated September 2019
    Jessica ·
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    That's another thing, he already had a plan, at least some of it from what I heard, and it wouldn't have been so bad if he had just kept me in the loop too.
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  • Jessica
    Dedicated September 2019
    Jessica ·
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    I just wish I knew how to let it go....I dont want to go to bed mad and I dint want this looming over our wedding and ruining the memories
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  • Naikesha
    Super September 2020
    Naikesha ·
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    Well sorry you are going through with this but you might be taken it a little too far.

    And let me explain why I feel that (since after all you asked)

    LYING is wrong everything about it is wrong and it is a red flag

    but......... If you be honest with yourself outside of your emotions you know there was no Malis intentions there. yes a lie is a lie but he did it to not fail you. Which is important enough to him that he felt he needed to sneak and lie. After 10 yrs together he knows you pretty well and I honestly dont think he thought it would be that bad.

    I know that it's very emotional and you are hurt and you have every right but you two need to sit down have an heart to heart discussion talk about the betrayal get it all out calmly and then let it go. You worked hard planning your big day and relationships are hard they take work.

    Don't allow this to ruin your big day or mini moon you love him enough to get passed this and I truly hope that the DJ is amazing and it adds value to your special day.




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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    You definitely have a right to be mad or sad. And it’s important to express to him how you feel and why. Just know you’re more on edge these days than usual and believe he was trying to help you.

    My hubby pressured me into having two entertainment groups at our local reception. We were already over budget and THEN he told me we need $1K of equipment rentals and tech support. I lost it. I was pissed and cried several times over our budget (we went way over, sometimes due to not knowing and sometimes due to our decisions). He agreed to pay more because he made those decisions, which I felt better about because I lost my job during wedding planning and finally found one at 1/3 the salary.

    Our wedding & local reception were amazing. But there was stress too. But we paid off the extra debt and it helped us communicate better. We both let go of any stress or tiffs we had the days-of and enjoyed every minute!
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  • Andrea
    Super May 2020
    Andrea ·
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    Totally get that, you knew and he probably knew you knew.
    I think all you can do is talk to him about the lying and going behind your back. You’re about to be married, money and budget should definitely be a joint decision. Good luck!
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