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Beginner March 2019

Brother-in-law cancelled his wedding, we can't cancel our flights

Kelly, on October 2, 2019 at 10:00 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 17

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My brother-in-law and his fiance have called off their wedding 2 weeks before it was scheduled to take place. My husband and I (along with some other friends and family) have tried to cancel our trip, but our flights are non-refundable and we really hate to see that much money go to waste (we live in FL and the wedding was in CA).

How inappropriate will it be if we still fly out and just make a small vacation of it for ourselves?
Has anyone here been in the same situation or has anyone here cancelled their own wedding and still had family come into town?

Thanks in advance for your advice.

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17 Comments

Latest activity by Andrea, on October 2, 2019 at 8:57 PM

Dedicated October 2019
Aleks · on October 2, 2019 at 10:05 AM
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You absolutely SHOULD do that. No sense in the money spent going to waste. Frankly, that would probably add to the guilt that your BIL might feel about cancelling the wedding so close to the wedding. Make sure you give him space to spend time or not spend time with you - offer, but don’t insist or get offended if he’d rather be alone.
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Master January 2015
null · on October 2, 2019 at 10:11 AM
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Agreed, I wouldn't let that money go to waste if you can't get it back!
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Expert April 2020
Jill · on October 2, 2019 at 10:13 AM
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I would definitely still go! You've probably already asked off work and there's no need for the money to go to waste!
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on October 2, 2019 at 10:38 AM
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That's not bad at all if you do that. It makes sense actually.
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Master May 2019
Chandra · on October 2, 2019 at 10:42 AM
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I'd still go take the vacation! Seems ridiculous to lose the money!
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Beginner October 2020
Kaycee · on October 2, 2019 at 10:43 AM
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My cousin cancelled her wedding 3 weeks before and we ended up making a trip out of it since flights and PTO were already set. I think your brother in law already feels bad to do that to all his guests so I think you should definitely plan a vacation!
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on October 2, 2019 at 10:54 AM
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100%, do that! You can always see his BIL too and his family, but you should go. Way better to use the tickets than to just waste them.
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Dedicated October 2019
Stephanie · on October 2, 2019 at 11:06 AM
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Take the vacation, your money and your time, at this point. I never think it's in poor taste in such a situation to treat yourself when there's no way to remedy it. BIL probably feels guilty about having to call the wedding off and would feel worse for wasted money, imo. So, like PPs have said -- enjoy yourselves. Maybe it's a hard time for him, too -- see him? See what's up.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on October 2, 2019 at 11:17 AM
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I would absolutely still go if I couldn’t cancel my trip. Enjoy it!!
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Dedicated September 2021
Holly · on October 2, 2019 at 11:40 AM
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I hope y'all have lots of fun in Cali!!
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Lady · on October 2, 2019 at 11:46 AM
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Absolutely take the vacation.
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on October 2, 2019 at 2:13 PM
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Go and have a nice vacation! You already paid for it!
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on October 2, 2019 at 2:13 PM
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That's not inappropriate! You've already spent all that money so might as well!
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Super October 2019
W-K · on October 2, 2019 at 2:39 PM
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Not inappropriate! I know there's no way to cancel them but could you bank the tickets for later use? I know some airlines allow a 1 year grace period but you have to pay $100 to transfer the time elsewhere.
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VIP March 2017
mrsanda · on October 2, 2019 at 3:17 PM
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Not at all! That was on them to cancel and so late in the game. I would so take advantage of the mini Vaycay. Hope you have a great time!
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on October 2, 2019 at 3:26 PM
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Unless he’s planning on paying everyone back for unused travel plans, your brother in law doesn’t get an opinion about anyone continuing with a vacation. I absolutely would go. It’s unfortunate that the wedding was called off, but also fortunate they realized this before the wedding and end up divorcing. Enjoy your time away, I'm sure you won’t be the only wedding guests there.
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Master January 2021
Andrea · on October 2, 2019 at 8:57 PM
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Not inappropriate at all! You spent the money to go on these flights, and unfortunately you'll lose the money if you don't take advantage and take those flights! LOL! It's an unfortunate situation to hear.. and I'm sorry about the cancellation of their wedding, but you don't deserve to lose your money. Take a vacation and enjoy yourselves
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